Synchronous Rotation: Always Facing
by DianaArtemis16
Summary: AU New Moon. Edward looses himself in the rain forests of South America only to return to Forks to find years have passed since he left. Can he reconnect to his Bella? And who is this Jacob Black that wanders the Washington forests? Eventual Edward/Jacob
1. Timeless

Synchronous Rotation: Always Facing

Obscenely small Prologue and outrageously long A/N:

A/N about the playlist:

Usually in my A/Ns I tend to ramble about how I was feeling as I was writing, plot decisions, fun facts, blah, blah, blah. But for your reading pleasure, I will do something different (mostly because otherwise every A/N would be 'Oh God, what have I DONE! I've just written a 45,000 word TWILIGHT FANFIC' etc)

And my something different is….a PLAYLIST (dun dun DUN) That is RIGHT, I have taken on the great art, laid down by our foremother Stephanie Meyer and made a playlist for my inner Twitard (who is rapidly becoming outer…)

Now my playlist is a bit different from Smeyer's because I can't listen to lyrics while writing (as she apparently can) My playlist for every single, individual, incredible, masterpiece I write is the same. It involves about 100 light piano songs performed and composed between George Winston, Kevin Kern, and Jim Brickman (who is my writing deity). So making playlists is not really my thing, because they would probably be the most boring-est thing to ever peruse, ever.

So my playlist was composed outside of writing and, really, has little to do with my fanfic proper. It's more a playlist of songs I think fit Twilight or New Moon Canon (I kept it between those two since my fanfic doesn't move outside of them) Each chapter will feature a different song, which may or may not have any relevance to the chapter, though I will try. And I will give a very brief explanation for why that song is relevant to Twilight. And by short I mean TITLE, ARTIST, RANDOM LYRIC, PAIRING (and most of the pairings tend to be Edward/Bella, maybe the music industry was made for their dysfunctional relationship?) Not all the songs choices are completely serious, but I'm sure you can figure that out.

But for the Prologue I give you a favorite Jim Brickman of mine; Timeless.

* * *

><p>It was only a matter of time.<p>

And for him, time was never a matter. Days were meaningless, months a blur, years only fragile memories. A century passed like a dream only half-remembered, but then she was there. She was there.

And time mattered again.


	2. A Dustland Fairytale

Synchronous Rotation: Always Facing

Chapter 1

A Dustland Fairytale, The Killers, Edward/Bella

_And the decades disappear like sinking ships, but we persevere_.

* * *

><p>A clean break. One swift rip, like taking off a band-aid. Except it would hurt so much more. Tearing skin, a broken bone, it hurt so much more.<p>

Edward Cullen sat in the canopy, admiring the brightly colored birds that dared to come closer. Their instinct told them to avoid him, but the sunlight was breaking through the damp leaves making his skin sparkle in a tantalizing way. He held out his hand to a bright green finch, as it hesitated from one branch to another. A patch of sun managed to squeeze between the branches, though they were very high up, and lit up his finger. The finch, too intrigued with the shiny object to care about instinct, gave Edward's marble skin an experimental poke.

"Want to take me home?" He whispered, far too silent to startle the small bird who continued to examine his finger tip. He was glad the creatures of the rainforest were so curious to strange visitors. He had only been sitting in the canopy for five days now and the birds had come quite accustomed to him. Even a few young monkey's had swung from his legs, thinking he was just another branch of the tree.

He was somewhere in Columbia, though long ago he had forgotten his exact location. He was in Brazil before, and Chile before that. He was heading north, he knew that. Though not intentionally. He dragged his feet as much as he could. Spending days sitting in one spot. Exploring the bustling cities, though only by night. He swam countless miles of the Amazon river, up and down until he was sure he could find an given town or settlement near the banks.

Years have passed and still he felt that he could look up from the tiny finch preening his fingers to see the border into Panama. Or even the Caribbean sea with Cuba or even Florida winking from the other shore. He was heading north, a magnet, a compass pulling him ever closer to her.

Edward flinched and the green bird was startled from its ministrations. It hopped once before fluttering back into the foliage. Edward stretched out his arms and legs. He had been sitting still for a very long time. The tree, though tall and powerful, trembled as Edward climbed to break through the canopy.

The sky was darkening, preparing for the afternoon rain shower. The air was sticky with humidity, though Edward couldn't feel the oppressive heat. He looked over the acres of tree tops, crawling up and down the mountains and wondered how long it had been since he had destroyed his cell phone.

It was Alice's fault, she refused to stop bugging him. She called him endlessly, begging for him to come back. Edward didn't want to face his family. And Alice pleaded with him to come home. To come back to Bella.

Edward's shimmering skin died down as the clouds began to form overhead. He looked up as the cool rain began the fall and all around him the forest came to life. Monkeys howled, trying to find cover, and the tree frogs chirped in pleasure, crawling out from under the leaves to soak in the fresh water.

It had taken Edward some time to think about Bella without destroying something near him. But now he could relax pleasantly in the canopy of the rainforest during the afternoon shower and remember her.

He loved her, but he also left her. He had tried to protect her, but he only caused her pain. Bella Swan was everything Edward wished he could have and knew he couldn't hold. He had just spent three days idling in a tree top to tempt a small green finch to peck at his finger. The finch didn't know how close it brushed death. It's small bones would turn to dust if Edward were so inclined to twisted his fingers against the bird. But Edward didn't crush the finch, he watched it. He played with it, protected it from himself. _What was the point?_

Edward looked towards the branches and the various birds trying to dodge raindrops. He thought he could see the flash of bright green feathers, but the bird had already forgotten about him. He suddenly wondered if Bella had done the same.

He sighed, brushing droplets from his hair as they fell into his eyes. He had lived completely cut off for almost six months in the beginning, his tenuous grip had been fading fast though. It was a hard first six months, being so alone from his Bella.

It surprised him that Alice broke first. She screamed over the phone that she was going for a visit to Forks. He didn't know how long she remained, it was a month of constant calling before he finally threw his cell phone off a cliff. She told him that Bella wasn't happy. He needed to come home, he needed to be with her.

It hurt Edward to hear those words, to know that Bella was ripping apart, just like him. After he threw the cell phone, he threw himself over too. Just to feel his arms and legs tear apart from his body. He wanted to see if it would hurt more. It didn't.

When he had gathered himself together again, time was meaningless. He didn't know if it had been six months or two-hundred years since he lost contact. He wished for the latter, then Bella would be dead and he could finally go back to live with his family. They wouldn't judge him…much.

Edward let himself slide between the branches, falling hundreds of feet before he hit the forest floor. The rainstorm echoed above, but few droplets managed to reach the cool ground. It was dark here, even with a clear sky. Edward moved silently, quickly through the forest, weaving between he trees and outrunning the raincloud.

It had been a long time, he could feel it. He wanted to go home.

* * *

><p>Alice, of course, knew he would come back.<p>

Edward had barely crossed the border from Mexico when the smaller vampire crashed into him, sending him flying twenty feet. "Edward!" Her scream was a mixture between delight and rage and Edward had barely gotten to his feet before she had her hands around his neck, shaking him violently. "You!...You bastard! Don't you know how worried we all were! I spent _ages_ trying to figure out how to find you! Why would you abandon us all! Can't you see how much we _love you!_"

Edward finally managed to still her hands before she completely decapitated him. "Alice! Please stop! Alice!"

She was crying, as much as a vampire could. Her eyes were crinkled with her mouth turned down. She whimpered, pained. "_Edward_," She moaned, throwing her arms around him, though much more gentle. "You're _back_."

Edward cradled his sister, running his hands through her short hair. She was soft and stable in his arms and still whimpered softly. "I'm sorry," He let her remain there for a bit longer, enjoying the feeling of her familiar body. It had been so long since he had touched anyone, human or vampire. But as he saw the sun slowly beginning to rise he pushed her away. "We should get moving. Where's Jasper?"

She blinked a few times. "Oh, I guess I left him behind. After I saw your return, I just took off," She sat up and looked to the sky, frowning. "I guess that was two days ago," She suddenly grinned, "But we'll meet up with him this afternoon."

Alice was always very fast, though never as quick as Edward. Jasper would never be able to keep up if she was truly driven. "How can he find us?"

She stood up and dusted herself off. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out her cell phone. "Easy, I'll give him a call."

Edward threw his head back and gave out a loud laugh. It surprised him as much as Alice. He couldn't remember the last time he felt such an unexpected bubble of laughter rise in him. Eventually she rolled her eyes and turned around to talk privately into the phone as Edward composed himself.

_'Are you done?'_

Her voice sounded odd and it took Edward a moment to realize that she was speaking with him through her mind. It had been so long since he had read anyone's mind, as he had been living nomadic. And it had been even longer since he read the mind of someone who knew he had the ability.

"Of course."

The sun was quickly rising, but as Edward had been traveling in the desert to avoid people, they didn't have to worry much about exposure. Alice was a convenient companion, as she could also see if they were heading in a direction that would encounter humans.

For some time they were silent as Edward slowly probed her mind. She was far too excited for any useful information. She thought mostly of Jasper and the family and how they will react to Edward's return. He saw brief flashes of himself greeting Carlisle and being hugged by Esme. It felt good to see that they would easily welcome him back into the fold. There was one thing Alice did not bring up for his perusal.

"Alice?"

She turned to him, grinning broadly from a vision of Emmett knocking Edward senseless with joy. "Yes, darling?"

"How long have I been gone?"

She was confused. "You don't know?"

He shrugged. "After…well, after I threw my cell phone off a cliff-"

"You _threw _your phone off a_ cliff!_" She stopped and turned to him, fuming. "Edward! Why are you such an _idiot!_"

He put a hand on her shoulder, just in case she decided to jump him again. "Please, Alice. How long has it been since I left America?" She was still frowning, but Edward could see her adding up the years in her head. But the numbers didn't make any sense. "Wait," his hand was now holding her closer. "Have I been really gone for…over thirteen years?"

She rolled her eyes. "Well, maybe if you didn't _throw_ your cell phone off a cliff, you would be able to keep track of time better," But she sighed and looked away from him, "Edward, I didn't know if you were coming back at _all_. I looked and looked, but I couldn't see if we would ever meet again until just a few days ago."

She looked so heartbroken that Edward pulled her into his arms. Sometimes being a vampire didn't suit Alice, she could look far too fragile. "I'm sorry. I just got so…lost," She looked up at him, her golden eyes unreadable…to anyone else besides him. Edward smiled. "It doesn't matter, I'm back now. And it's your job to tell me everything that has happened since I left."

She grinned slightly, not completely well yet, but Edward knew it would take some time for her to really forgive him. For everyone to forgive him. "We've been living in North Dakota for the last eight years. It's a nice, but we're thinking of moving north soon, probably Toronto."

Edward's eyes widened, his family have approximately seven locations around America that they would live in for eight to ten years. The rotation was familiar. North Dakota wasn't on the list. "Why there?"

Alice grimaced. "I think everyone just wanted to get away from people. And let me tell you, you can't get much farther than North Dakota."

Edward suddenly grinned. "I see you've been pushing Toronto for awhile."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "I haven't had a real shopping trip in _years_. I don't care if we have to be twice as careful in a large city. I'm suffocating!"

"I've never known a vampire to suffocate, nonetheless from acres of open plains."

She slapped him on the arm playfully. "Granted, it has been nice to be by ourselves again. Not being around humans makes you feel a bit more human yourself, you know," Her voice fell a bit more silent. "I think we were all a bit shocked about the situation in Forks."

Edward was glad that he didn't flinch or tense in anyway. Alice was testing him, as he knew she would. But he was ready, he'd come back after all. "Have you been in contact with Bella since we last talked?" His voice was steady, strong.

Even reading her mind, Edward didn't see the answer right away. But he could tell that it had been some time. The memories were far away and Alice was in no hurry to conjure them back. "I have already told you the state she was in when you left, you don't need to see it."

"Not even as punishment?"

Alice closed her eyes. "Definitely not. But if it makes you feel better, I think I left her in a good place."

Edward let his eyes slide away from her. "You followed my example."

She shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant, but Edward could see how hard it was to leave Bella again. "She wasn't happy with me. I wasn't you. I helped her, I like to think. But without you, she really just needed to forget about us. Move on and forget."

"Has she?"

Alice suddenly bit her lip. "I can't see."

Edward stopped and Alice avoided his gaze. There was nothing in her visions, just darkness. "What does it mean?"

She met his eyes, a little nervous, but the word came through clearly. _'Werewolf_._'_

"What?" Edward felt his fists clench and he suddenly found himself struggling to compose himself. "Since when have there been werewolves in Forks?" His voice was strained.

"Just after we left, I guess. Our presence triggered their formation, we think. Bella had befriended one of them by the time I visited. I was horrified, but he was the only one who could placate her. I watched them for awhile and discovered I couldn't use my sight on them. That was one of the main reasons I went back in the first place, because her future kept flickering," She scuffed her feet, still nervous. "I kept checking on her for a year or so after I left, but the blackness bothered me, so I just let her go."

Edward was silent for a long time. Werewolves, how horrifying. He trusted Alice's perception of the situation, but the thought of those creatures anywhere near someone as fragile as Bella made him taste venom. "You haven't seen her in about ten years then?" His voice was stiff, but he stopped trying to quell his anger.

"Edward, please don't do it."

He looked up seeing the vision play across her mind. He hadn't even realized it until he saw it through her eyes. "I have to go back."

The visions of him greeting his family was rapidly fading and Alice reached out to him, as if she could tempt them back. "It's been thirteen years, Edward! So much has probably changed. So much changed in those first six months, you cannot image what you might encounter there!"

"Oh, I can imagine."

She was holding onto his sleeve so tightly that the fabric was the shirt was slowly ripping. "That was so long ago. Werewolves don't last forever, they could be all gone now. Who knows if Bella is even there?"

He pinned her with his eyes. "Then look for me."

She shook her head slowly. "No Edward, I won't look. Come back to _us_. We have a lovely home in the middle of the country, no one around."

He tried to shake her arm off, but she was gripping too tightly. His shirt sleeve ripped clean off. "I've been avoiding people for the past thirteen years, I've been alone in my head for long enough. If you won't look, then I'll leave and see for myself."

He could already see in her eyes. If she didn't looked, he would leave. If she looked, he would leave anyway. That was all the reason he needed.

"I'll call you when I get there, I promise."

She held his tattered shirt sleeve to her chest. "Don't run away again."

"I'm not, just a detour. I'll show up at your doorstep before you could even see it. I promise."

Alice quickly glanced behind her and Edward knew she was desperately hoping Jasper would meet them in time to keep Edward there. They both knew it wouldn't happen though. She turned back to him, her eyes broken. "I love you. You do know that, right?"

He let his fingers run through her short hair, it felt like feathers. "Closure. So I never have to look back again."


	3. The Horror of Our Love

Synchronous Rotation: Always Facing

Chapter 2

The Horror of Our Love, Ludo, Edward/Bella

_Moonlight walking, I smell your softness_

* * *

><p>Edward was back in the rainforest.<p>

Though with notable differences. The rainforests of Columbia were vibrant and alive, filled with colors jumping and flying between every tree. The great trees of the Washington rainforests were a deep green from moss and leaves. Though plenty of sounds, never as deafening as the tropics. Edward paused in his near two-thousand mile sprint, to let his hand sink into the damp moss coating the thick trunk of the spruce trees. It was quieter here, subdue. The rainforests of South America have many mysteries, but only this place seemed to hold its secrets close.

Edward looked up at the clouded sky, feeling pulled into the forest by a great force. He wondered if Alice was like him, and enjoyed the feeling of being boxed in. It felt good to have the low clouds overhead and the thick trees around him. Sometimes, when it rained, Edward felt like her could sink into the earth and understand what it was like to have a heartbeat again.

His family loved the Olympic Peninsula and he wondered if it was just for that reason. Perhaps it was best that the southern vampires didn't know of this Eden; a war for this land would never end.

Familiar scents washed over him as Edward continued further towards Forks. He followed the path to the Swan residence like he had never left. It was all so achingly familiar that it nearly hurt.

It was only a hundred meters away did he cross the first scent trail. It was so potent that he had to pause and cough up the awful smell. As if he could easily rid it from his nose. It was an old trail, but unmistakably one of those werewolves had left it. It had been so long since he had smelt it, but he memories of creating the treaty with Ephraim Black came roaring back with the scent.

Edward traveled slower then, noticing the many werewolves, but all their scents were old. There was one more recent, perhaps only a few days old. Edward examined a branch with a bit of fur still clinging on. The smell wasn't as terrible as the older trails, though more fresh. He shrugged it off, guessing that not all werewolves reek the same.

As Bella's house came into sight, Edward took to the trees. He didn't even know if the Swan's lived there anymore. He could have asked Alice, but he didn't want to stay in her presence for too long, in case she found a way to truly tie him to the ground. But even if she wasn't in the house, Bella was there in Forks, he could feel it.

Peering into her room, Edward felt an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. He longed to climb to her window and ease himself back into those lovely memories. It was odd how time distorted even his perfect memory. He had never felt so happy in his long life when he was with her. Yet he left her and now he couldn't even conceive of how he did it.

No one was home, but Edward didn't dare to leave the tree. He didn't know if he could handle being so close to memory yet so very far at the same time. The room was different, but it only took Edward a moment to realize that the furniture had simply been rearranged. There were posters on the wall now and it had been freshly painted. It wasn't Bella's room anymore. From a distance, he guessed a child, a girl, slept there now.

He was about the leave and explore the rest of the town for more hints when the wind changed. He snapped his eyes back to the house, fixated as the myriad of scents came to him. Most of them familiar, though he couldn't place them. But above all, he smelt Bella.

He barely noticed that he was crushing the branch he was perched on. Not in thirteen years, not in several different countries, not surrounded by the most beautiful and rare flowers did he smell something that sweet and delicious. Bella was like someone opening the door to a stagnate room, bringing in a fresh spring breeze. Edward longed to jump into that scent and curl up in it. Bath himself. Nourish himself.

Perhaps it was a blessing that Bella wasn't home and only the shadow of her scent could reach him. He felt overwhelmed by it, but he knew it would be awful to reunite with it in the flesh. Perhaps it would be as bad as when he first saw her that fateful day in biology. But now he had the opportunity to become accustomed again to it without hurting anyone.

Like a soft breeze, Edward let himself into her house. He used the front door, finding the spare key where she always left it. He smiled at the old habit. The house was different, though just as clean. Bella obviously never grew out of her nervous cleaning habit. Edward was glad to make out Charlie's scent, most prominently on the couch. Even though the man never really liked Edward, he was pretty tolerant of his daughter dating a vampire. Edward never asked Alice, but he wondered how much Charlie hated him after he left Bella. Alice had only hinted at the struggle the man went through in order to care for Bella's depression.

Edward wandered around the living room. Four humans and the werewolf scent. Edward felt himself growling as the scent was recent here, and very present. There was Bella and Charlie, of course. Someone else that tickled Edward's memory, but he couldn't place it. And one entirely unfamiliar. He supposed it was the girl living in the Bella's room. Her scent was brighter, as all children are.

Edward walked upstairs, already piecing the puzzle together. The child must belong to the other stranger in the house. Edward wasn't dense enough not to consider that she was also Bella's child as well. There was still the possibility, however, that it was a friend and their child that the Swan's took in.

Glancing into the rooms told the truth. Edward looked into the bedroom that used to be the guest room. A double bed and two dressers. Edward didn't need to see the wedding photo on one of the bedside tables. Bella had spent a great deal of time in this room, and so did the other person.

For awhile, Edward could only stand in the middle of the room and stare at the empty bed. Bella had married. Bella had a _daughter_. It was unbelievable, or at least it used to be. Thirteen years was a lot to a human. Yet in a small corner of his mind, he had expected Bella to never change. It's what she used to want, never to age. But here she was, married with a family.

A car came up the driveway and Edward disappeared out the window. He climbed to the roof, so he could see the people exit the car. It was only as he tried to remain still did he realize that he was trembling. He calmed himself and watched the car park in the driveway.

Bella exited from the passenger seat and Edward held his breath. She was older, of course, but still beautiful. Her eyes were still large. They may be no longer innocent, but they were still playful. Her lips were quirked in a smile, directed at the driver of the car.

"Do I have to drag you?" Her voice was rougher with age and Edward found himself smiling.

The wind picked up just as the driver opened the door. Edward was growling before the man had even exited the car. He was obviously a Quileute and a shape-shifter as well. He was rolling his eyes at Bella, but as he came closer to the house, Edward knew he was found out.

The man shuddered to a halt, trying to pin-point the scent. He suddenly rushed inside. Bella gave a cry of surprise but Edward was already leaping into the trees. The wolf would follow his scent and he really didn't want to be found on the roof. He would loose the creature in the woods, then double back and try to meet with Bella alone. He didn't want her to worry about the werewolf's reaction.

Edward discarded his shirt a couple miles into the woods, it was ruined anyway, and made his way back to Bella's house. He stayed near the tops of trees, taking a round-a-bout way, just in case.

It was apparent his planned worked as Bella was alone when he returned. He decided to knock on her door, so he wouldn't surprised her too much. Waiting for her to answer, he felt suddenly very unsure. What could he say to her? How would she feel, seeing him after so long? How would Edward feel, being so close to the only one he had ever loved?

The door opened and Edward forgot to breathe. Bella was beautiful, more so from only a foot away. Her hair was shorter, in a messy bun, but with strands hanging carelessly in her face. Her lips had become fuller, somehow, and she gasped. They stared at each other for a long moment, so long that anyone passing by would think they were etched into stone.

Bella looked like she had forgotten to breathe as well. It all came rushing back to Edward as he saw her going dangerously pale. "Bella," He reached out and held her by the elbow as her legs buckled under her.

"Edward," She breathed and she smelled more than sweet, she was like no time had passed. Edward rain his fingers through her hair as she leaned into him. She was the same, completely the same. Her hair soft and fragrant, her eyes like melting pools of emotions. He kissed her on the forehead, wondering how her could have gone more than month without feeling her warm skin beneath his lips. Her heard her fragile heart flutter and speed up. The sound of it could never compare to the hundreds of birdsongs in the rainforest.

"Bella, I-"

She cut him off and gently pushed him away. "Edward, come inside. Jacob will be back soon and I don't want him to think you're attacking me," She took his hand and led him into the kitchen. She sat him down in one of the chairs and sat across from his, staring like she was dreaming.

He smiled, leaning forward. "It is good to see you. You have no idea how good."

She smiled back, but he saw tears leaking from her eyes. He automatically went to her side and tried to wipe them away. It only seemed to encourage them and Bella flung herself into his arms, crying too much for words.

"I'm sorry," He whispered. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have…I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "No Edward, no. I am glad you are here," She looked up at him. "I'm so glad that I'm crying!" She suddenly laughed and hiccupped and fresh tears fell. "It's been…wow, it's been so long. I feel like I'm breaking and healing all at the same time. God, Edward, why do I feel seventeen again?"

He chuckled, stroking her hair as she hiccupped into his shoulder. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I feel seventeen too."

She snorted and sat up, grinning like she couldn't stop. "Edward you're so…you," She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "And you're shirtless?" She sounded so confused that Edward felt a laugh burst from him. She laughed too and it felt good, it felt so good.

"I'm trying to confuse your dog."

She frowned and it took her a minute. "Dog? You mean Jacob?" She laughed again, "Aw, I'll have to apologize to him later. But for the effort, let me get you a replacement. I have a feeling Jacob will shred your shirt the minute he finds it."

Edward shrugged, following her as she walked up the stairs. He wanted to walk automatically to her old room, but he resisted the urge. Bella did turn a bit pink as she led him into her bedroom and fumbled around in the dresser that was obviously not hers. "A lot has changed," She muttered, by way of explanation and handed him a clean white shirt.

He took it, dressing himself quickly. "I know. If your dog hasn't already told you, I've been looking around your house."

She giggled, absently fixing her hair in the mirror. "Still the stalker I remember. I'm glad some things in this world will never change."

The house shuddered slightly as the door banged open. "Bella!"

She quickly ran past Edward. "Jacob! It's alright!" He followed her as she ran down the stairs. Just as she stepped into the hallway, he darted in front of her. He wasn't ready to let her face a werewolf alone. "Edward!" She admonished, but he held her behind him as he faced the beast.

The wolf was already growling, his human form blurring, ready to change. He was looking at Bella, trying to asses the situation. Bella tried to squeeze by Edward, but he held her still. Perhaps a little too harshly, as she gasped in pain. The shifter's attention snapped to Edward and suddenly everything went still.

Edward was trying to read the wolf's mind, ready for an attack. But the shifter's mind was curiously blank. Well, not entirely blank, it was filled with Edward, like there was no other room for thought. They stared at each other for a tense eternity, neither breathing or moving.

"Jacob!" Bella cried and time sprang back and the werewolf transformed.

It was like an explosion, the sound of ripping skin and breaking bones nearly drowned out the sound of the walls groaning and cracking from the massive wolf now in their presence. Edward braced for an attack, but the wolf was writhing uncontrollably. Edward pushed Bella back up the stairs as the wolf growled and cried, trying to turn around. The walls took a beating and Bella screamed as the door was smashed from the hinges, letting the wolf escape.

Throughout it all, Edward tried to read the frantic mind. It was far too disorganized and chaotic. The only real thought was to escape, run away, run far away, get away from the vampire. _Run._

He did not expect such a reaction, especially since the wolf seemed intent on fighting the minute he opened the front door. Edward recovered first, glancing back to Bella to see if she was alright. She was pale, but not frightened looking or even grateful. She looked quite angry in fact.

"Edward Cullen! What right do you have to shove me around and upset Jacob!" She stood up, fuming. "If you just would _back off_, I could have talked to him and saved us a lot of grief. Just look my the front door!"

'Door' was a loose term. The wood was all but shredded, leaving a gaping hole at the front of the house. Though the entire hall needed some serious restoration. He looked steadily back at her. "I was merely protecting you."

Bella rolled her eyes and shoved past him. "Protecting me! From my best friend, no less. Great, just look at this!" She poked at the peeling wallpaper. Edward found that odd, peeling wallpaper was the least of problems. She whirled around to him, gasping as he had gotten closer silently. "You!" She waved her arms, "Fix this! You enrage Jacob, you take the credit!" She gave a sound very near to a growl and stormed into the kitchen, yanking up the phone.

"What are you doing?" Edward followed her, though she was less startled this time.

"Calling Charlie, you dunce. Unless you can snap your fingers and fix my front door, I can't have them come home to this!" She deliberately turned away from him, talking tersely into the phone. If Edward stayed close enough, he would be able to overhear, but he decided not to enrage her further, instead he took a full assessment of the damage done.

Edward wasn't an expert carpenter, but he knew enough to make a good patch job. Perhaps later, when there was more time, he could do a thorough job. A new door would be the hardest without inciting questions. He shrugged it off, it was easy enough to give an excuse.

He heard Bella hang up the phone and grab her jacket. "What are you doing?"

She rolled her eyes and he wondered where she picked up the habit. "I'm going to find Jacob. I need some serious answers."

Edward grabbed her elbow before she could take another step. "No, I can't let you do that."

She only looked more ticked off. "Why not?"

He tightened his grip minutely. "You just saw a wolf destroy your front door and you are just going to go _visit_ him?" His voice was tense.

She tried to move out of his grasp. With no success, she instead moved closer, giving Edward a glare that he had never seen before. "Release me, Edward Cullen. Jacob has been my very close friend for over ten years. I have _never_ been harmed by him even when he was younger and more prone to shift unwillingly. His control is impeccable, if he slipped today, that's because something is seriously wrong. I will go to him and you _will release me_."

Her tone was so cold that Edward immediately let go. She darted from him and went to the car, starting the engine. He was too shocked to even move. That wasn't Bella, who was full of anger and cold. Bella wouldn't look at him like that or speak to him like that. He could only stare in wonder as she stuck her head out the window.

"You have four hours!"

Alice was right, Edward had been gone too long.

* * *

><p>The patch job was acceptable, at least to Edward. It was time consuming to get the lumber and materials, mostly because he had to stop at the bank and withdraw money. He had only finished putting up new wallpaper when he heard a car approach. Bella would have to explain the new door and walls, he hadn't the time to find an exact match. Glancing out the window, he saw Charlie exiting the vehicle.<p>

Darting out the nearest window and taking to the trees, Edward watched as two more figures came out of the car. A man, Bella's age, with blond hair. He reminded Edward of someone, just as his scent, but he still couldn't place it. He put an arm around the young girl, his daughter. She had beautiful golden hair and a round face like her father's. She was the first to notice the new door.

Edward didn't get to hear the response Charlie gave as he quickly ushered them into the house. He suddenly wondered what Charlie knew. Bella had called him in order to stall her family, but what did she say? What did he believe?

With no Bella in sight, Edward decided it was time to give Alice a call. Running into town and getting a new cell phone was easy enough. He found a quiet spot in the woods to have the conversation.

Alice was, of course, indignant. "What didn't you call earlier? I know you've been there for several hours now!"

"There wasn't time, I had to see Bella and she just arrived home."

He didn't have to explain much of that meeting, Alice had seen it all already. Instead she asked, "What happened next?"

He knew she must be referring to the encounter with the wolf. "Bella was with her pet dog. I led him astray for awhile, but when he caught up with me…he exploded. Quite literally."

She giggled and the sound made Edward smile. "I warned you that she was close to the werewolves. I guess that is why you had to rebuild the front door."

"Yes, she was furious with me," He paused. "I mean, really angry. Like it was me who blew a hole in her house."

Alice was silent and Edward ached for her to be there so he could look into her mind. "She isn't seventeen anymore," Her voice was quiet.

"I know she's thirty now. But how can a person change so much?"

"Because she's human," Alice sighed. "You're eternally seventeen, Edward, you don't understand what it is like to be thirty or forty or even a hundred years old."

"I am a hundred years old."

"You're _not_ at the same time. We vampires have a hard time with major changes. It's why we are immortal, because we refuse to grow. You were made a vampire when you were seventeen, that's hard to let go of. Bella has…aged, Edward. She has seen and experienced things that have changed her. No human is the same when they are seventeen or thirty or whatever. We, on the other hand, are both victims of the teenage experience, we can't escape it."

He frowned, "If we both are, how do you know this?"

He could feel her smile, somehow. "Perhaps it's because I can see the future. It gives me perspective that a normal teen would never have. It's how an adult looks at the world. I can't say that I am quite an adult, but I can understand a little better than you," She paused, "I'm sure if you could look into her mind, you would see what I mean."

Edward dragged his foot along the moss, creating large tracks of mud. "She's married, you know."

"Yeah, I know."

"And has a daughter."

"She's beautiful, I can see her."

"I guess that was my first hint that she is no longer the Bella I knew," He stopped dragging his foot, somehow feeling guilty for destroying the moss bed.

"She's still Bella, Edward. Don't give up on that. You'll have more interaction with that werewolf, but in the flickers, I see you being very happy catching up with her."

"It sounds like you want me to stay here."

He meant it half as a joke, but Alice was quiet for a minute, contemplating her answer. "When you left, you told me you wanted closure. I can see now that there is much that you must understand. You do need closure, you need to stay there."

"What are you hiding from me?"

"Candlelight, there is too much darkness for me to see clearly."

"Won't you speak normally to me?"

She giggled, like bells. "Carlisle and Esme understand and await your return with patience. Keep calling so they don't think you've disappeared again. We all love you."

He hung up the phone, sighing deeply. He had been half-wanting to ask if Alice would come down, but he knew she didn't see herself here. It was dark now and Edward knew he should wait until morning before visiting Bella again. Besides, there was one place he hadn't visited yet.

The Cullen house was empty as Edward let himself in. Whenever they left a town, they usually sold the house, but in Forks, they always kept this place to themselves. It was incredibly dusty, but the blankets over all the furniture helped protect it. Edward let his fingers go over the piano cover, disturbing the dust in a small cloud. He wanted to play, it had been so long.

But he couldn't. The house was empty and it felt wrong from Edward to be there without the rest of his family. Esme wasn't sitting on the couch, enjoying his music. Emmet wasn't in the other room, screaming at the TV. And Alice wasn't waiting in his room, knowing he would want to talk to her.

Edward locked the place up again, knowing he probably wouldn't reenter.


	4. Hot 'n Cold

Synchronous Rotation: Always Facing

Chapter 3

Hot 'n Cold, Katy Perry, Edward/Jacob

_You always speak cryptically_

* * *

><p>"I'm not angry with you."<p>

Edward leaned back in his chair, seriously doubting that. "Of course."

Bella ran her fingers through her morning hair. It was extremely early, the sun barely rising. No one was awake in the house, but Bella was wandering around, trying to make herself a mug of tea. Edward found her in the kitchen. She didn't even flinch at his sudden presence and now she sat comfortably across the table from him, speaking in whispers.

"Okay, so I was a bit frustrated. But I talked with Jacob yesterday," Her eyes went distance. "I guess I don't have much reason to be upset."

Edward frowned. "So you forgive me?"

She smiled into her cup. "Yes, I forgive you and I'm sorry for snapping at you. The front door looks beautiful."

Edward was relieved. "I guess we learned never to let a werewolf transform in your hallway," He kept his voice light, but Bella's eyes were dark. "I'm sorry," He apologized, wondering if she was still sensitive.

She shook her head. "No, it's fine. It wasn't your fault or my fault or even Jacob's fault," She was frowning again and Edward noticed that the lines in her forehead were deeper than he remembered.

"Not the dog's fault?" He muttered sarcastically.

She put her mug down, staring at Edward very seriously. "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

She rolled her eyes. "Call him a dog. His name is Jacob, please use it. And also," She hesitated, "I think we should all sit down and have a chat. Okay?"

Edward felt his fists clench. "You want me to talk to it?"

"_Him_, Edward, please," She suddenly sounded very exhausted, as if the mere idea of sitting between a werewolf and a vampire was very trying. "And yes, I would like you to talk to Jacob."

He sneered. "Why?"

"Well, for one, you have some unfounded prejudice towards him that I _really_ don't appreciate. And two," She paused again, picking up her cup, "I think it would be good if you guys were more friendly," She rushed forward, "I mean, if you are visiting for awhile, you are going to run into Jacob again and I would really like to save the rest of my house from destruction."

Edward grinned. "I understand."

She looked incredulous. "Really?"

He held up his hands. "If he keeps his paws off of me, then I'll keep my fangs out of him," That made Bella giggle. "But I didn't come here to talk about your werewolf friend. I wanted to talk about you."

She was sipping her tea hurriedly. "What about?" Her voice was light, but nervous.

"Well, I would like to know who the guy sleeping in your bed is."

She looked confused for a minute. "You don't recognize him?"

"Should I?"

Bella suddenly looked embarrassed. "We did go to high school together," Her voice got slightly hysterical. "Oh my! That was a long time ago! That's probably why you don't remember him."

But Edward was already filing through his memories, trying to see the classmates that he had long forgotten. His memories of high school were always filled with Bella, he left out everyone else. Blond hair, round face. He must have been smaller back then and knew Bella. Perhaps had an interest in her, even then. His eyes widened. "_Mike Newton_?"

His voice had risen and Bella looked uneasily upstairs. There was no sound. "Of course, Mike Newton. I can't believe you didn't recognize him, considering how much you used to pester me about him."

Edward hardly heard her. "Mike Newton? Seriously?" He couldn't believe it. "I thought you found him annoying and uninteresting?"

She snorted. "I guess I did, didn't I? Oh, poor Mike," She frowned at Edward, but her eyes were playful. "And of course I would find him uninteresting compared to you. But he," She smiled to herself, "he changed, I guess."

Edward sat back, not needing to read Bella's mind to see her rifling through her memories of Mike Newton. She was still smiling and her eyes were soft. She leaned her chin to one shoulder, as if there was a hand there, comforting her. "How did it happen?"

"I didn't really get to know him until after he left for college," She fumbled with her mug, "I went to community college for a couple years and I barely saw him, besides for the summer when we would work together. When I finished my associates degree, I decided to ask him for some college advice. We ended up having lunch together and I found he had really changed since high school," She looked closely at Edward. "Matured, I guess. He wasn't some kid with a mindless crush. He was passionate about classes and he saw ways he could improve his family store."

Edward sighed. "So you started dating?"

She shook her head. "No, but it was a start between us. When I followed him in the fall, he was really helpful and friendly. I found myself taken in by his friends and, well, by him in general," She hesitated then, looking away form Edward. "I didn't think…I would ever find myself in love again," She glanced cautiously at him, as if he would be angry. "When you…left, I thought I would never recover. Jacob was there for me, he was always there for me. But he couldn't heal me. Mike didn't really heal me as much as make me into a new person, a better person. I'm happy with him, Edward, happier than I've been my entire life," She reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently.

Edward didn't know quite how to feel. He had a sudden, desperate urge to read Bella's mind. He wanted to see these college memories and try to understand them. The Mike from his memory would never suit Bella, but who was he now? Who was Bella now? "I'm glad," He managed to press through his teeth. "I'm glad you're happy. It's all I ever wanted."

She was smiling, but looked close to tears. "Thank you. But I know there must be more that you want," She paused. "I had hoped…that you would have moved on too. Where have you been Edward? What have you seen?"

He looked away, staring out the window. The sun was well above the horizon now. "I haven't seen much in the way of humans or vampires. I've been spending a lot of time in South America, exploring the rain forests and keeping out of sight in the cities."

"Was it beautiful?" She whispered like she was afraid.

"Yes, it was very beautiful," He looked back to her and had the sudden urge to tell her that he missed her every day. That at any moment he could have broken down from the memory of her. He wanted to ask if she thought of him too, especially after marrying. He didn't, he knew he couldn't. "It was nice being in the wilderness, not having to worry about humans. I spent many days in the trees, befriending the tropical birds."

"So you enjoyed yourself?"

_No_, he wanted to say, _never without you_. "It was something I have never experienced before. But I can't live like that," _Can't live in that emptiness, thinking about you and not thinking about you_. "So I came back. I wanted to see my family, catch up with old friends."

Bella smiled, like she was relieved and Edward knew he had spoken correctly. She jumped when she heard someone roaming around the hallway upstairs. "Oh, you better leave. I haven't thought of a good excuse for why you haven't aged in the past ten years."

Edward stood up. "I understand. When can I see you again?"

She grinned, almost impishly. "Just wait until everyone has left. I have a job for you."

* * *

><p>Edward stayed nearby all morning. It was strange, watching these people from another life. Bella was…well, she was a mother and wife now. She made breakfast for everyone and they all laughed and talked around the table. The daughter woke up much later and Mike had already gone off to work by that point. Charlie was still working at the police station, though he had obviously aged as well.<p>

The daughter eventually rolled out of bed and went downstairs to only sit in front of the television. She must not have school and Edward wondered what month or day it was. Bella busied herself a bit in the kitchen, then stepped onto the front porch. She looked around the trees and Edward smirked.

"Can I come in?"

She gasped as he appeared behind her. "Edward! Yes, of course," She waved him in, looking over to the living room anxiously.

"Do you want me to meet her?" He asked softly.

She smiled a little and turned to him. "I want you to do more than meet her, you are going to watch her for me."

Edward was confused. "You mean babysit?"

Bella's smile was now wicked. "Yes, I have some errands to run. It will be a couple hours at the longest," She suddenly looked a bit guilty. "I mean, you don't have to."

Edward smiled easily. "Of course I'll watch her. But can I meet her first?"

She walked into the living room. "Can you come here? I would like you to meet someone."

The girl sighed, but followed her mother into the kitchen. Being closer, Edward could see how much like Bella she looked. It was her large eyes and expressive mouth. He was sure she would be the same awkward teenager that Bella was, given a good ten years. The girl hovered close to her mother, looking at Edward warily. "Good morning," Her greeted amiably.

She only nodded and Bella sighed. "Alice, dear, this is Edward. He is a very good friend of mine and he will be watching you for a little bit," She glanced to Edward. "This is Alice."

Edward looked at her surprised. "Alice?" Bella flushed slightly and he smiled. He turned back towards the girl and gave her a warm smile. "Hello, Alice. How old are you?"

She was shy and hid slightly behind her hair. Edward grinned, it was just like Bella. "I'm six and a half," She murmured. She looked up to her mother. "What about Uncle Jake?"

Edward had barely anytime to comprehend the strange statement when he picked up some strange thoughts. _'Why is __he__ there? Oh, God, he can probably read my mind! Why would Bella invite him over?_'

Edward turned to Bella. "Are you expecting him? He is just outside."

She sighed, as if preparing for battle. "Alice, go back to the TV, I need to talk with Edward and Jacob."

The girl skipped away, obviously glad to get away from the stranger. Edward turned to the door just as the wolf Jacob approached. "Did you tell him that I can read minds?"

Bella shrugged. "A long time ago," She opened the door. "Jacob, come in."

The man stared at Edward, his mind a jumbled mess. He looked very worn and he was gasping, like he had been running. _'Stupid leech'_ Edward rolled his eyes and turned back to Bella.

"I'm guessing you want to have our little chat now?"

She smirked, all but forcing the werewolf into a chair. "You read my mind."

"I wish I couldn't read _his_," The shifter had up a constant litany of curses and other insults. Not that Edward took too much offense, wolves were always known to be rather dim-witted.

Bella glared at the man. "Jacob, be good. Alice is just in the other room and I don't want any trouble."

Edward grinned. "Be a good dog."

The werewolf launched to his feet. "Shut up, _leech_. And get the hell out of my head!"

Bella shoved him, though it had little effect. "Jacob Black! Control yourself!" She whirled to Edward. "And _you_, try to act a little less like a _child_. I'm already taking care of one, I don't need _three_ on my hands," She looked between both of them, her glare steady.

But Edward wasn't paying much attention to her. The wolf seemed to have calmed down enough to stop mentally screaming constant insults, but he was replacing them with a mantra of the Quileute alphabet. "What are you hiding?" Edward asked quickly, catching him off guard.

The shifter flinched, but the thought surfaced almost immediately. It still didn't make much sense.

"Imprint?" Edward mused aloud. "What's that?"

The wolf was panicked now, his thoughts flying out of control. It still didn't make any sense and Edward longed for the calm, mental control of his family. Not that the shifter was willingly trying to share information.

Edward turned to Bella after a moment. "Soul mates? Do you know of this?" He looked back at the wolf, who was avidly avoiding his gaze. "What does this have to do with _me_?" He knew his voice was getting a bit dangerous, but there was much here to be concerned over.

Bella held up her hands, as if she could placate the growing tension. "Please, Edward, don't jump to conclusions. This is a very serious matter," She looked back to the wolf. "That's why I called you both here. This is something that _needs_ to be addressed."

"It doesn't need to be addressed! It can be ignored!" The shifter nearly shouted. He was trembling, trying to control himself.

"No, it can't," Bella insisted. "Sam and Emily?" She prompted.

Edward was proud of her abilities, now he could examine the flashes of apparently another wolf and his mate. Though the events did little to please him. "What is _this_? Did you do this to _me_? You want this from _me_?"

The shifter suddenly lost all steam. He slumped back into the chair, making it creak under his weight. "It doesn't have to be like that. It really doesn't."

Edward took a step forward. "What is it then?" He hissed. "You're _disgusting_."

"Edward!" Bella snapped.

The wolf glared up at him. "An imprint doesn't have to be sexual, you mindless bloodsucker!"

Edward saw another wolf and a child. He sneered and backed away. "_Children_? Your kind are seriously disturbed," He looked to Bella, horrified. "How can you let him be alone with your _daughter_?"

Bella slapped him. The sound was loud in the kitchen and Edward swore the wolf stopped thinking for a moment, it was so silent. It didn't hurt him and he was sure it probably hurt her. But she glared at him with such intensity, he could almost feel the sting on his cheek. "Stop, just _stop_," He did stop, he didn't even move. If Bella were a vampire, he was sure he would feel the instinct to run. Even as a human she looked dangerous. "Edward, give Jacob a chance to explain. Pawing through his mind like that is not only extremely annoying, but also very rude. There is a reason for the phrase, 'think before you speak'. Let Jacob think and sort this out," She looked between them, sighing deeply. "There's much we all don't understand."

Edward stared at her, unable to look away. He barely heard her words, the shock of her slap still replaying in her mind. Whether or not she could actually harm him, Bella had never raised a hand to him before. She hardly ever truly resisted him. "I apologize," He found himself saying, though he was unsure who it was directed to.

'_She's not the same naïve teenager you knew'_

Edward turned to the wolf, but he wasn't expecting the look on his face. It wasn't anger, but he couldn't quite place it. Maybe it was pity, but that didn't make any sense. "I know," He answered.

Bella sat down, obviously assessing the situation less critical. "Would you like me to try to explain to begin with, Jacob?" The wolf nodded, staring at the floor again. She sighed, looking back to Edward. "An imprint is a natural phenomenon that the Quileute werewolves experience. It's very rare, or at least, it used to be. In any case, not a lot of people understand what it's exactly about. You could think about it in terms of soul mates. Once a werewolf looks upon their soul mate, he or she will be bound to them for the rest of their life. He will try to take care of the soul mate, the imprinted, in any way. If it must be a friend, a father, or a lover."

Edward looked to the shifter, whose mind was reflective of Bella's words. "And he did this to _me_?"

Bella bit her bottom lip. "So it seems."

Edward felt a growl low in his throat. "I highly doubt it. The concept itself is just ridiculous. What proof do you have?"

The wolf shivered. "There are…signs."

It was a replay of their meeting yesterday, though slowly. The shifter was obviously trying to understand it too. Edward couldn't deny that there seemed to be some…moment between them, but an imprint was an extreme conclusion.

"A moment of stress, nothing more," He answered.

The wolf didn't answer, but his mind kept replaying. He was meant to be graceful through the woods, but he found himself suddenly off balance, gravity working in a different direction. He wandered between the trees for hours, unable to concentrate besides for an unbearable need to return to Bella's house and confront Edward.

"I'm still not convinced."

_'There is little more I can give as proof. If your ability could read my mental well-being, you would understand.'_

Edward sneered. "I don't need a power to tell you have gone insane, dog."

Bella gasped, but he didn't pay attention to her as he watched the shifter completely deflate. There was no fight left in him, there was nothing to gain or lose, just to give up. It made Edward feel almost guilty for insulting him, which was a strange reaction indeed.

He swallowed thickly, deciding to move this conversation on. "It's compulsive," He stated.

The wolf nodded minutely and Edward found himself a little relieved. At least the wolf didn't _want_ Edward to be his soul mate.

"But it's not random," Bella cut in. "You must understand that, Edward. Jacob imprinted on you, nature has decided that you are both…very well suited for each other," She said the words slowly, as if tasting them.

Edward snorted. "A vampire and a werewolf. Nature has gotten sloppy. Of course, our kind have never really been inside the realm of the natural."

Bella leaned forward, trying to reach him. "Call it destiny, then. The fact is, it has happened."

"Why can't we just ignore it then, like he suggested?" Edward hated using the wolf's idea. "I certainly don't want any more involvement with werewolves than I have already."

He didn't expect the shifter's reaction. The man hardly moved, but Edward could tell he was in a great deal of stress. His mind was chaotic, as two parts of him battled. One side, the one that had spoken out earlier, agreed and wanted to take the plan into action immediately. The other side, Edward guessed the imprint, rejected it so completely that it caused him physical pain.

Eventually the wolf leaned over and rested his head on the table, groaning from the effort. Bella immediately stood up to try to help him, but Edward could read his mind. The wolf could avoid him, as he had already done for the last day or so, but it had already taken a toll. His mind was utterly restless, unable to concentrate for any length of time. He couldn't eat, his head making him nauseous. Sleeping was out of the question. It was more than not seeing his imprint, it was that both he and Edward had yet to accept it.

It became very clear to Edward, in those few seconds, that the shifter would not survive ignoring his imprint. It would be like ignoring an empty stomach or a fatal injury. Edward's mind worked very quickly, trying to decipher an answer he already knew. The thought alone of weighing the benefits of the wolf's death was sickening.

"Jacob," The man's gaze immediately locked to his, even as his head continued to lay resting. Edward couldn't believe he was about to do this for a werewolf. But at that moment, Jacob didn't look like a werewolf, he looked like a person. No. He looked like Bella.

Jacob was gazing at him with those same eyes she had, full of fear and trust and the fear of trust. Bella never felt worthy of Edward, but she held on to him with white knuckles. It hurt for her to have him and the thought of not having him was inconceivable. Jacob had, unwillingly, place this fragile trust in him. And now Edward had to take the role he thought was lost in high school.

"Jacob, I will not forsake you."

He didn't know what the right words were, but the chaos of the wolf's mind ceased. Jacob apparently didn't know what to say in response, his own mind a buzzing emptiness.

Edward looked to Bella, who was completely shocked at the turn of events. "Excuse me for a moment."

He walked slowly from the room, up the stairs, and into Bella's old room. He closed the door behind him, grateful that he didn't smash it through the hinges. He wanted to destroy something, desperately. But he daren't, in the child's room. Instead, he located a rocking chair, not the same one he remembered, and settled himself in it.

He knew it was a strange choice to come in here, especially since Alice Newton obviously claimed it. There were toys thrown across the floor, dolls and horses, and other girly things. Her open closet was cluttered with dress up clothes and other toys.

But it still smelled like Bella and it still reminded him of the nights when he would come in here to watch her sleep. So fascinated by the girl, that he broke some serious rules of propriety in order to absorb her presence a few more hours.

It was simple then. She was interested in him and he in her. There was no messy imprint to get in their way. They could love each other or they could not. And that made it all the better and stronger.

There was a timid knock on his door and he looked up to see Bella slowly enter. "I knew you would be here."

He smiled, but it felt weak and fake. "I like Alice's redecorating."

"Yes, she does have a bit of a different personality than I did," She absently began picking up the floor and putting things away. "She's really friendly, if given some time. She adores 'Uncle Jake', thinks he is a big puppy dog," She grinned. "I guess he is."

"Does she know?" He asked softly.

Bella shrugged. "She hasn't asked, so I guess she doesn't suspect anything. I'll think of something to tell her, when the time comes," She glanced at Edward. "Charlie knows. It's been good to have him in on the secret, in case of trouble."

"Has there been trouble?"

"Not for a long time," She soothed. "Unless you count reckless werewolves destroying the front door," She sat on the bed, giving Edward a hard look. "You didn't have to do that," She whispered.

He looked away, examining a baby doll on the floor with lipstick stains. "Yes, I did."

"You shouldn't feel forced-"

"But it is _forced_," He looked up at Bella. "Isn't that the point?"

"Does my blood still smell good to you?" She asked suddenly.

He was momentarily thrown by the question. "Of course it does."

"When you first met me, was it overwhelming?"

"Why-?"

"Just answer, Edward," She admonished gently.

He frowned. "It was more than overwhelming, it was consuming. I nearly killed you, the first time I saw you."

"But you resisted. You talked to me."

"I wanted to know who you were. I couldn't read you mind and your blood was enchanting. I had to figure you out."

She sighed. "What if my blood smelled just like anyone body else's? What if you _could_ read my mind? Do you think you would talk to me? Or acknowledge me in any way?"

He sputtered a bit. "Well, I would hope-"

"You wouldn't, Edward, you didn't talk to anyone in that school besides for your family. Please understand Edward."

He pursed his lips. "Your scent and mind are not the same as an imprint. I could have left you at any moment. In fact, I _did_."

His words made them both flinch. Bella wrapped her arms around her, as if to stave off a sudden chill. Edward felt so empty inside that it _hurt_.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"It's okay, Edward. I know what you mean," She sighed, trying to shake off the feeling. "I know it isn't exactly the same. But you have to admit, it was a very large coincidence. More than a coincidence, it was destiny, the way we came together. This imprint is similar in that way. Think of it not as a contract, but as an opportunity," She attempted a smile. "I can't presume how you are feeling. But to say the least, Jacob is very intrigued by you."

Edward snorted. "Intrigued?"

She shrugged, "He has just gotten a very clear sign that you and him are forever linked. Werewolf, vampire, man, or whatever, that _is_ intriguing."

She leaned back on the bed, staring out the window. Edward wondered how she still knew when to be quiet and let him think. It had been so long since she interacted with him, yet talking or just being together could still come so easily. Sometimes.

"What do _you_ think?" He murmured.

She inhaled, as if to speak, but paused a moment more. "Did you know that I have seen both of you climb through this window?"

"Really?" He felt disturbed, though he was unsure in what manner.

She nodded, smiling to herself. "_And_ I've had you both stand in this room, in the middle of the night, at tell me you were too dangerous to be around," Edward didn't know what he had to say to that, so he waited for her to continue. "The more I live, the more I think chance and coincidence is just a myth. And fate or destiny are not some unseen magic, but simply the way we live. Where we go, who we meet, how we act; that's fate," She looked at him, as if she were perplexed by her own words, "that's life."

They stared at each other in silence and for the first time in his long life, Edward was not trying to read her mind. Light steps up the stairs caused them both to look to the door. It opened to a timid Alice, who stared at them confused. "Uncle Jake said I could play with his hair. Can I have my stuff?"

Bella stood up, smiling, "Of course. But I expect you to put your things away when you're done. I don't like to come up here and find the place a mess."

Alice nodded quickly, shooting Edward confused glances. She stepped into the room and retrieved a bright purple box. She quickly turned around a sprinted down the stairs. Edward let himself chuckle lightly. "Play with his hair?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Don't tease him too much, Alice has few female figures in her life. I'm just glad she doesn't want to play dress up with me."

Edward stood up. "I doubt you'd let her," She only gave him a withering look. "On another note, I'm glad she didn't inherit your terrible balance. I doubt you could run down the stairs without breaking your arm."

She slapped him lightly on the arm. "I'm not _that_ bad," She looked to say more, but a pained expressed stretched across her features. Edward put a hand on her shoulder.

"What is it?" She was suddenly very pale.

She shook off his arm. "Oh, just a headache. I get them sometimes," She winced. "Feels a bit worse than usual, maybe I'll lie down before heading out," She gave him a weak smile. "You don't have to stay. But check on Alice and Jacob before you leave," She walked slowly to her bedroom.

Edward didn't like the look on her face, but her voice held no concern. If it was thirteen years earlier, he would have insisted some medical treatment. As it was, he remembered her anger in the kitchen not to long ago. He knew that he had to learn to trust her more. After all, she was much older and knew herself more than he realized.

He peeked into the living room, mostly out of sheer curiosity. Sure enough, Jacob was on the floor with the little girl on the couch behind him, carefully weaving ribbons into his long, black hair. The man could tell immediately when Edward entered the room. He flinched, but did not move.

_'Not one word, leech.'_

"Then give me none," He replied back. Alice turned around, confused.

"What?"

Edward smiled, taking a seat beside her. "Nothing, just talking to myself," He looked at the purple box she had retrieved from the room. It was filled with other random baubles and pins and combs. She apparently took this very seriously, as she only shrugged before continuing her task.

"Do you need help?" He asked causally and he could feel Jacob tense, ready for a fight.

Alice shrugged. "You could do one, if you want."

Edward reached into the box and pulled out a shockingly pink ribbon. He could feel the werewolf's eyes on him, very wary. "Do you know how to French braid?"

The girl frowned. "What's that?"

"I'll show you," He began a section of hair, ignoring the way Jacob's arm was twitching from the sensation.

Alice was instantly enthralled. "Wait! Slow down," She undid her own braid, trying to follow Edward with clumsy fingers.

"Since when did you become so girly?" Jacob muttered sarcastically.

Edward chuckled. "Says the man currently getting a make-over."

_'It's not a make-over, it's just play.'_ His mind was defensive.

"Whatever you say. And I'll have you know that it is impossible to live under the same roof with my sister without picking up a few new techniques."

Alice was pinching Jacob, though the wolf didn't seem to notice. "You have a sister?"

Edward looked at her, wondering at her genuine interest. "Yes, her name is the same as yours, actually."

The girl stopped and smiled up at him. "I wish I had a sister. I would dress her up everyday."

Edward smiled, wishing his sister would come and see her namesake. They would instantly be friends, he could tell. "Well, you have Jacob, right?"

The man actually growled, but Alice apparently didn't notice. "Yeah, but Uncle Jake won't let me put make-up on him again."

Edward snorted, dangerously close to losing himself to a childish fit of giggles. "Really? So he let you do it once?"

_'Watch it_,' The threat was empty, though not lacking in vehemence.

Alice sighed dramatically. "He looked really good too!" Edward actually had to hold his breath in order to keep himself from bursting. "But then grandpa came in and made fun of him," She fiddled with the ends of the ribbon. "I bet he would look really good in one of mommy's dresses too."

Edward put a hand over his mouth, giving into to a silent fit. Alice didn't seem to notice, concentrating on making another French braid.

_'Just you wait until she comes to you, begging, with actual tears in her eyes. You'll hear it from me when I find you sitting here, letting her put glitter on your cheeks.'_

"I don't need her for that," He whispered, too soft for the girl to hear.

_'What?'_ That thought was unbidden.

Edward turned to the box, pulling out a lavish tiara. "Well, Alice, we can still turn his head into a princess."

* * *

><p>It didn't take long for Jacob, complete with an elaborate hairstyle, to fall asleep on the floor. Alice was still very pleased, despite her subject's obvious disinterest. She turned to Edward eagerly. "Wanna play with me in my room?"<p>

He nodded, following her up the stairs. He briefly wondered if he was getting into a situation like Jacob's. Though he at least had the comfort that Bella had already left and wouldn't have to witness any sort of embarrassment.

Alice pulled out a board game, to Edward's relief. It was a game made completely form chance, so he didn't have to worry about cheating by reading her mind. He actually found it more enjoyable than he'd thought. Alice was a charm, mostly because her mind was so in tune with her mouth. Like most children, she would think what she would say and say what she thought. It was comforting, not to have to listen to the digression between the two that so many adults had the habit of doing.

"Are you friends with my mommy?" She asked, watching Edward move his pieces across the board.

"Yes, I believe we are," He listened to her mind work and decided to answer before she voiced the question she felt embarrassed about. "You can call me Uncle Edward, if it pleases you. But I would really prefer just Edward."

She smiled. "Okay, Edward!" She took her turn, waiting until his next move before striking again. "Did you know her a long time ago?"

He thought it was a strange question, but children, particularly this one, were eccentric. "Yes, about thirteen years ago. We were very close then."

Alice's eyes suddenly lit up. She blurted out the words without even thinking first, catching Edward completely off guard. "I think I have a picture of you!"

She scrambled on her knees to the center of her floor, only just cleared a couple hours ago by her mother. She felt carefully along the floorboards and Edward suddenly knew what was about to happen.

Alice pulled up a loose one and reached into the hole to pull out a few dusty pictures. She grinned happily, holding them out to herself and comparing them. "It _is_ you!"

She held them out to Edward and he numbly took them from her. He remembered that time, certainly, but seeing it was an entirely different matter. He was with Bella, at the fireplace. Her face was strained, forcing a smile. Edward looked miserable. He remembered that photo, the conflicting feelings of wishing her could pull Bella closer and feeling repulsed by it at the same time. Another one showed just him on the couch and he knew what he was thinking. _How long? How long until I leave?_

He looked back to Alice, who looked a bit concerned. "Isn't it you?"

He couldn't deny it, his appearance certainly never changed. "Does your mother know you have these?"

Alice looked guilty. "No. Are you going to tell her?"

He looked back to the teenage Bella in the photo. She looked scared, weak, and desperate. "I won't, if you won't."

Jacob was still sleeping when Bella came home. Alice bounced into her mother's arms. "I'm hungry and Edward always loses at Candyland," She blurted out as Bella grinned.

"It's a game of chance," He muttered, but Bella didn't hear.

"Well, its high time for some lunch, I guess. Must not let Edward get too beaten down, have to think of his feelings," She smiled at Edward. "I'm guessing Jacob passed out on his own and there wasn't any trouble?"

He shrugged. "We've been upstairs for most of the afternoon."

"Well, go see if he conscious enough to eat."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "And if he isn't?"

Bella put Alice on the floor, letting the girl run into the kitchen. "Let him rest, he doesn't sleep well these days."

She had turned away before Edward spoke. "Because of me?"

She hesitated, looking over to the living room, though she could not see Jacob lying on the floor. "More than that. For years now I've heard howling in the night," She glanced at Edward over her shoulder. "I used to know the reasons, but I think I've forgotten them. Ask him about it, if you could."

"He would answer me?" But Bella has already drifted into the kitchen and pretended not to hear him.

Taking in a deep breath, Edward walked over to the couch, peering over the edge to the floor. The shifter was still sleeping, his heart rate slow and his mind a swirling blackness; a deep sleep. Edward looked towards the kitchen, hearing Bella chat with her daughter and put together sandwiches. From the other room, Edward could hear their shared inflections and similar pitch and tone. Every time he discovered a correlation between the two, he couldn't help but feel a small swell of happiness. But then Bella's face, from the picture her daughter had found, rose to his mind and bitterness crested over in his chest. He knew he should go into the kitchen, he had no reason to linger. But he couldn't make himself move, still seeing her young, frightened eyes in his mind.

It didn't take long for Bella to step out, glancing over the couch at Jacob. Her face softened, similar to how she looked at her daughter. She whispered to Edward, who had still not moved. "Mike called before I got back, said the store was slow and wouldn't mind some company. We are going to head out with some lunch. I would ask you to go…" She trailed off.

"I wouldn't want to be a complication," Edward murmured. He wanted to spend more time with Bella, but there would be tomorrow or the day after that. He had no reason to meet Mike Newton.

She smiled. "You were always the gentleman," She laughed, like she made some joke. "I don't think I ever really appreciated that before," She put a hand on his shoulder, glancing at the werewolf. "Do you mind sticking around until he wakes? I left some lunch for him in the kitchen. We won't be back until dinner. Alice has a ballet lesson this afternoon as well." She hesitated. "If he is still sleeping when someone comes home, just let him be."

Edward put a hand over hers. "And where would you like me?"

For a moment, Bella looked close to tears, but the moment passed as swiftly as it came. "Wherever you are happy, Edward."

She left with Alice, and Edward moved listlessly around the house. Another empty house, he was growing tired of that. But, he had to remind himself, it wasn't entirely empty. The wolf began to snore in the living room and Edward found himself settling by the couch.

Jacob had rolled over onto his back, perhaps triggering the snoring. He was dreaming now too. Edward leaned forward, having very little experience in reading dreams. They started out short and disjointed. Often just flickers of movement or random sounds. Then the emotions took control. Edward couldn't understand why certain scenes or images lead to such intense emotions. An old man in a wheelchair, probably Jacob's father, made his heart race and temperature spike. Anger, Edward guessed, a burning anger. Later, Bella walking down the beach, warily watching the waves, made his jaw tighten and fingers flex. That was pain, a lot of it.

When he dreamt of Edward, he never really dreamt of his image. Just a scent, a scent of something that made Jacob breathe in deeply, but still grimace. Edward couldn't tell what he smelled like to Jacob. His gift, though giving him insight to emotions, wasn't empathetic. And in the frenzied moments of dreaming, it was made impossible.

It suddenly occurred to Edward that Jacob's scent wasn't as repulsive as he remembered. When they first faced, just yesterday in the hallway, Jacob had smelt of something bitter and rotten. Like turning up a log after a long rain. Disgusting.

But now the wolf smelled softer, not pleasant, but tolerable. It was mostly animal, earthy and wild. It was still bitter, but not rancid. Alive. Edward thought it was strange that most living creatures made him thirst. Even his tolerance for Bella's scent had its limit. But he did not desire Jacob's blood, nor was he repulsed by it, at this moment. He could hear it flowing through the body, swollen and warm, up and down, over and over. Even as he concentrated on it, Edward did not feel the usual burn.

'_Is it a hobby to stare at people while they sleep? Or a leech defect?'_

It took a half a second before Jacob said the words aloud, his voice slurred with sleep. Edward was so engrossed in his own thoughts that he hadn't realized the wolf was waking. "I was trying to figure out if your snoring was damaging your hearing and if I should suffocate you to put you out of your misery."

Jacob snorted. A memory flashed of a girl, a sister probably, bursting into the shifter's room in the middle of the night and throwing pillows at him until he chased her out. "I wasn't snoring, it's a warning for enemies near to not disturb the sleeping wolf," He rolled over, rubbing his face wearily.

"Ah, a like a war cry, I see. Very effective."

Jacob yawned. "Shut up," He was obviously out of wit.

Edward stood up. "Bella left you lunch in the kitchen," He turned towards the hallway.

'_Where are you going?'_ The question was unbidden and he looked to see Jacob grumbling, trying to cover for himself.

"Out. Bella requested I stay until you woke."

"Whatever, I don't need a babysitter," But he was still curious. Edward decided not to answer his thoughts, mostly because he really didn't have a place to go.

He had a hand on the door before he decided to say something. "Oh, Jacob," It was almost amusing how Jacob automatically perked up to his name, but mentally tried to crush himself down at the same time to Edward's voice. "You should probably check the mirror. You might stop traffic otherwise."

He grinned, hearing the wolf growl and tear the tiara from his head.


	5. Landed

Synchronous Rotation: Always Facing

Chapter 4

Landed, Ben Folds, Edward/Bella

_Treading a sea of a troubled mind, had to leave myself behind_

* * *

><p>"She's named after you, I'm pretty sure," Edward lounged on a boulder. It was warm with the sun not obscured by the usual cloud cover. "Or at least she is related to you. Her fashion taste certainly are. Can you see her room?" He let Alice think, watching his skin cast white specks onto the opposing rocks.<p>

He could almost _hear_ her smile. "Oh! I wish I could meet her!"

He let it nails carve ripples into the rocks. "Why can't you?"

She sighed. "Well, maybe someday. But right now it is all too shadowed by the werewolf. But, I don't know Edward, I just have a strange feeling."

"A good or bad one?"

She was silent for a moment, and he wondered if she was reviewing the footage. She couldn't always see the emotions behind a vision, which often led to misinterpretation. But he had a feeling that she had been pouring over his shadowed future, trying to find any hints. "It's complicated. I've seen you in pain, Edward. Great pain. And I've seen you healing. But everything is unsteady with the wolf there. Sometimes it 's both, sometimes it's neither. But I see you coming home, that one is very strong."

"I told you I would come home. This is just a visit."

She growled, surprising him. "But it's not good, Edward!"

He stopped his methodic scratching in the rock. "Why?"

"I don't know!" She was terribly frustrated. "It just doesn't look good. I wish you would come home soon, but now I'm afraid."

Edward looked at the ripples he created in the rock, his sparkling reflection shimmering unsteadily; moving in and out of the groves. "I'll be fine," He whispered. "I've been through Hell, Alice. I can endure anything with time. And I have a lot of time."

"That's not good enough. You shouldn't endure, you should _live_."

He let out a harsh laugh. "I've been dead for over a hundred years. A little late for living."

"Then be happy, Edward. Content, fulfilled. Whatever word you like. Just _be_ it."

He was quiet for awhile, unsure what to say to that. It had been so long since he felt really happy or content. It felt like much longer that he had been tolerating day by day. Holding painful memories at bay, letting them slowly creep closer, trying to numb himself to the feeling. Enduring was all he had known for over ten years now. And it was a blessing, not to be crushed from the inside out.

"Alice, how much do you see the darkness of the werewolf?" He asked suddenly.

"Much, but scattered. I'm assuming Bella still lets him hang around?" He murmured in agreement, waiting for her to look some more. "At times there's more, until your future is almost obliterated, and sometimes there's less," She sighed. "It's like I said before, complicated."

"Too many decisions?"

"_Important_ decisions, I'd say. Ones that can't be predicted at the moment, but give very different outcomes."

"You'll be watching for me, right?"

She laughed and it was good to hear the beautiful sound. "Of course."

By the time they stopped talking the sun had moved from overhead and Edward was in the shadows again. He knew he should have talked to Carlisle or Esme or someone else in the family. But he really just wanted to talk with Alice. Everything with Bella was new to him and he was becoming unsure of his purpose. He didn't know whether to leave or to stay or even how often to visit.

He had been coming over everyday this week, just after Charlie and Mike left for work. He would sometimes play with Alice while Bella ran errands. Sometimes Bella took them both out for a brief outing. Jacob showed up twice more and Edward casually avoided him. Bella easily picked up on this and took the opportunity to go on long walks with him without Alice there.

She talked mostly of college and her married life. She was inexhaustible when talking of Alice. He could tell that everything the child did was somehow extraordinary to Bella. He let her talk, not tiring of hearing her voice sound so loving. She asked him of his travels, sounding interested in the exotic places. But Edward had little to say. He saw things but he never took it in. He told her of memorizing the channels of the Amazon, yet he couldn't actually say what it was like. He just did it, methodical and mind-numbing. He had no care for the mysterious fish or uncharted rainforest. It was like he was trying to swim his way out of his own body.

He stayed away from her house for the weekend and through the first half of the next week. He didn't know why he wouldn't visit her. He blamed it on the uncanny amount of sunny days, and not wanting to risk even being near an open window and alarming Bella's daughter.

'_That rock do something particularly offensive?'_

Edward had been grinding his hand into the boulder, creating a deep gouge. He looked up and spotted two large eyes of a wolf watching him from the nearby bluff. Jacob was downwind and Edward hadn't even smelled him coming. He probably would have heard the thoughts, if he was paying attention.

Perhaps in another moment he would have been more on guard to be in the presence of the massive wolf, but at the moment, he felt only weary. "Do you have business with me?" He asked, brushing the powered rock from his sleeve. He had bought more clothing with Bella on one of their outings. She said it was strange that he kept showing up in Newton's shirt. Edward had completely forgotten, mostly because he tried his best to forget her husband even existed. Not so much the idea, as the person. He simply couldn't compute the man Bella reminisced about with the boy he saw in Forks High School.

Jacob shifted feet on the bluff, not making a move to come down. _'Bella's wondering where you are.'_

Edward wondered how Jacob could so clearly project a thought, yet be so incompetent in hiding his other thoughts. "Liar."

_'Okay, I wandered over here and thought I should ask why you are killing a rock. But Bella is worried, seriously.'_

He was lying again, but Edward let it go. "I'll see her soon, she shouldn't worry."

_'I'm worried.'_ He didn't intend that one.

Edward started at his curiously. "Why?"

Jacob shifted again and his ears twitched back and forth. _'It's Bella…If she is missing you after a few days…I don't want her missing you.'_ His thoughts were scattered, unsure.

It took Edward a moment. "Ah, you're afraid of her growing attached and being hurt by my absence. Just like…before," He swallowed the words and they felt like a lump in his throat. That was one conversation that he had never brought up with Bella and she had carefully avoided in turn. Edward didn't know if he wanted to hear what her life was like the months after he broke up with her.

_'It was bad.'_ Jacob answered. And for a moment, Edward wondered if the wolf could read his mind. His ears were flat against his head. _'Really bad. And it took so long for her to, I dunno, move one, recover, heal. I'm just afraid for her.'_

Jacob whined low in his throat and Edward realized that the shifter was exhausted. "What would you want me to do?"

_'Leave now' _His tail swished violently before tucking itself between his legs. _'N-not leave now.'_ Edward could feel his struggle. It had been awhile since any real interaction with the wolf, he had almost forgotten the imprint. Almost. The truth was, he was half-hoping it would simply disappear with ignorance.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, a human habit. He wondered if he was neglecting his duties. He wondered if he really _should_ have these duties. "Come here."

Jacob took an automatic step forward before he reigned himself back. _'Why?'_

"Because I'm going to cut some of your fur and put it in a locket," He grinned as the werewolf failed to hear the sarcasm. "Stupid dog. If you are going to run tabs on me for Bella, then I'm going to do the same to you."

Another step forward before he gained control. _'Why?'_

Edward rolled his eyes, a habit he was quickly picking up from Bella. "When was the last time you slept?"

_'Last night.'_

"For how long?"

Jacob growled. _'It doesn't matter.'_

Edward leapt lightly down from the boulder, making the wolf flinch. "Bella hears your howling at night. And she's had you pass out in her living room from sheer exhaustion multiple times. Do you know that?"

The shifter sagged. _'Yes. Obviously I can't help it and there is nothing she can do to help.'_

"Why?" Edward moved forward and Jacob seemed to be frozen in confusion. "She asked me to bring it up. She thinks you'll answer me," He paused, only a few feet away from the massive head. "Will you?" He was half-afraid of the answer.

_'Imprint doesn't mean slave, you know.'_

Edward was unexpectedly relieved. He was unsure why, but he guessed it was because now he didn't hold complete responsibility over the wolf, like some over-worked babysitter. "What does an imprint mean?" He asked on a whim.

Jacob was confused. _'Bella explained it pretty well.'_

"I know, but I still haven't heard much from _you_," Edward noticed that half of the wolf's body was coated in pine needles and other leaves, like he had been lying down in the forest. "Why does it exist?"

_'To be an extreme discomfort,' _was the first thought and Edward held himself off from grinning. He wasn't about to bare his teeth this close to the massive head. _'There are no rules for it, if that's what your wondering. And even though I know people who have imprinted,' _Brief flashes of faces that Edward didn't recognize,'_all their situations are different with different outcomes.'_

"Then what's the point of it?"

The shifter huffed, blowing his hot breath onto Edward's face. He cringed at the animalistic smell. It wasn't awful, so to speak, just rather like smelling a mountain lion but different. It was a bit unnerving.

_'There are some…theories, but none of them make sense to me.'_

"For you?" Edward offered the correction.

Jacob lifted his head to get a better look at the vampire. _'Whatever.'_

This conversation wasn't going anyway productive so Edward took a step back. The wolf relaxed to such an extent that Edward wondered why he didn't pick up on the tension before. "I should go see Bella."

_'I know you're a vampire and so technically a mindless bloodsucker, but you do realize that it is past midnight.'_

Edward looked to the sky. He actually did realize it was well into the night, but the habit of visiting Bella at all hours had apparently decided to make an appearance. But what he really found surprising was the lack of mockery in Jacob's thoughts. Certainly the wolf had no problem portraying distaste in his thoughts before.

Edward slide his gaze back to the large brown eyes. "Do you want to join me?" He offered carelessly. "Or does your pack of dogs gather at night to howl at the moon?"

Jacob didn't answer but immediately tore off towards the Swan house. _'If she is awake then I really will howl at the moon, just for you.'_

Dodging between trees, Edward grinned. "Oh, I'll think of a better prize," Like asking why the wolf seemed distinctly uncomfortable with his earlier comment.

It took only seconds to reach the house. Jacob lingered in the tree line while Edward approached the house to see if anyone was moving. The blinds were down, but he saw a light on in the kitchen and Bella's shadow move around the counter. He grinned at the wolf, knowing he had won.

Jacob grunted before retreating back into the trees. _'Claim your prize later. Some of us need our rest.'_

He would be more curious by the wolf's sudden disappearance, but he could tell Jacob's thoughts were suddenly very exhausted. He couldn't believe that the short run had drained him. Unless werewolves were weaker than he had expected.

Shrugging, he knocked quietly on the door. Bella opened it a moment later, looking wary before she saw his face. "Edward," She smiled. "What have you been doing these past few days?" She stepped out onto the porch, obviously not wanting to wake others. They sat down together on the top step.

"I've been around, re-familiarizing myself with the place," He paused. "Why are you up? Thought I would visit, but I really didn't expect you to be awake."

She grinned. "What would you do if I wasn't? Climb into my room like old times?"

"Yes, I'm sure your husband wouldn't mind. I'll just stand in the corner and be out of the way."

A laugh burst from Bella, but she suddenly groaned, resting her head on her knees.

Edward put a hand on her back. "Are you okay?"

She sighed. "Just a headache. It woke me up," She sat up, taking his hand off her back and placing it on her forehead. "Ah, much better. So glad you came."

Her skin was warm, but not hot. It must be just a headache. "Glad to be of use."

They sat there for a moment, just being quiet together. Bella closed her eyes and he wondered if she would fall asleep on the front stoop. He remembered the last time he served as a human ice-pack was when Bella injured herself from eighteenth birthday party. His hand flinched at the memory.

Her eyes opened and she lowered his hand. "What is it?"

He shook his head. "Just thinking," She would prompt him more, so he decided to just continue. "I ran into your dog tonight."

She had gotten used to him referring Jacob as a dog or pet to her. "Really? What was he up to?"

"I think he has been sleeping on the ground."

He wondered what it meant that Bella didn't look too surprised. She did close her eyes and massaged her head. He gave her back his hand, but she only held it in hers. "I wish he wouldn't do that. I've tried to argue that it is unhealthy for him," She rolled her eyes, "but I guess his body is pretty durable."

Edward watched her absently play with his fingers. "Why does he do it?" Now she was hiding. It was the way her eyes were suddenly fixed on the ground, her hands had stilled. He didn't even let her lie to him before deciding to take another tactic. "If you won't answer that. Can you tell me why he isn't sensitive when I call him a dog," He paused, "anymore…but he tenses up when I mention the pack," Bella was still silent and her hands has frozen as his. "I mean, he does have a pack, doesn't he?" Edward reviewed his brief phone calls with Alice so many years ago. He was positive that she mentioned more than one werewolf.

Bella slowly closed her eyes and put Edward's hand back to her forehead. "It's a long story."

"Are you tired?"

She shook her head. "I guess you should probably know, given the circumstances between you two," She sighed, eyes opening to look at him. "There used to be a pack of wolves at La Push. Sixteen of them, in fact. Now there is only one."

He frowned. Sixteen wolves? How could Alice leave Bella with such dangerous company? Through careful interaction, he had been convinced of Jacob's control. But he was highly doubtful that sixteen wolves was a good idea. His hand clenched, but he controlled the action before Bella could feel it.

She continued on, oblivious to his internal struggle. "You know werewolves can chose to give up their wolf and become a normal person. Well after," She bite her tongue, so hard that Edward could almost smell blood, "a-after a…while," Her cover was poor, " most of the pack decided to become human and live out the rest of their lives. They encouraged Jacob to do the same, but he…didn't," Her eyes were shifting on the ground, though Edward knew she couldn't see anything in the darkness. "He's an Alpha, so I guess he can live without a pack. Though I can't imagine it is natural for him to be alone. He says that the ancient leaders used to do it. Only have one wolf, I mean, as a guardian for the tribe."

Edward suddenly wasn't so concerned whether Jacob was the only wolf or not. "Bella, what triggered the formation of so many wolves?" He knew that while his family was living there, La Push hadn't had any wolves.

Bella sighed. "Having vampires near, I guess. That's why Jacob transformed, though it was about a month after you left. Some others after him too."

His eyes narrowed and he took his hand back so he could look at her properly. Her eyes opened slowly, trying to look innocent. It only made her look older somehow. "Sixteen? Bella, you have to tell me. Were there more vampires here after I left?"

She pursed her lips. "You won't like it."

"Tell me now, I am very close to crushing something," He could hear his teeth grinding, he wondered if Bella could hear as well.

_'Why is Bella awake? Hope she's feeling alright.'_

Edward quickly looked upstairs. "Charlie is awake," He pretended not to hear her exhale of relief. He stood up. "Should I leave?" He whispered.

"What?" Apparently too quiet for Bella.

_'Is she talking to someone?'_ "Bella? Are you outside?"

"Do you want me to leave?" He hissed.

Bella put a hand on his sleeve, trying to think fast. "Wait, can you find Jacob?"

"Why?"

_'Who would be here at this hour?'_ Charlie was at the door, slowly opening it. "Bella? Who is there?"

Edward was in the trees, watching as her father peered out from the front door. Bella was chewing on her lip. "Hey, Dad, just getting some fresh air."

Charlie didn't believe it, he looked to the tree-line. "Was Jacob here?" Edward was impressed, her father was obviously more knowledgeable of the supernatural. He wasn't completely on track, but he could tell someone had just disappeared unnaturally fast.

Bella put a hand on his sleeve, her eyes betrayed her mind working very quickly. "No, it wasn't Jacob. It was…Edward."

Edward narrowed his eyes, but remained hidden. She would call him out if she wanted to. Charlie was stunned silent for a minute. "Edward? Who?" He pretended to sound confused, but Edward saw that he definitely recognized the name.

Apparently Bella didn't need to read her father's mind. "Yes Edward. Don't sound like you don't remember him," She sat back down on the step. "I just asked him to get Jacob. I need to talk to them both," Edward grinned, he wasn't about to leave yet from this interesting conversation. He'd get the wolf later.

"Wait a minute, Bella," Charlie was still standing. "Edward Cullen? He's _back_?" The surprise was real.

She sighed, closing her eyes and Edward wondered if her headache was bothering her. "Yes, he's been back for a little over a week."

Charlie instantly turned red. "He's back?" He was furious, his mind practically blank from shock and anger. "After all these _years_! I can't believe-!"

"Dad, calm down. Mike and Alice are sleeping."

Charlie sat down heavily next to her, gripping her shoulder tightly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

She rubbed her eyes. "Because I knew you would freak out."

"But-?" _'But what if you needed me?'_ His mind was suddenly filled with a teenaged Bella. She was sitting in her room, staring at the wall. She wouldn't respond to Charlie or anyone else. She was screaming at night and Charlie was standing outside her room, knowing he couldn't make it stop. She wasn't eating. She wasn't talking.

Bella looked at her father, placing her hand over his. "I'm not seventeen anymore. He came back to…catch up, I guess."

The awful slide show in Charlie's mind cut off and Edward found himself feeling exhausted. "Are you alright?" _'Did he hurt you?'_ Edward felt suddenly sick with himself.

"I'm very good, Dad. I promise. In fact, it's been rather nice having him back. He's been in the Amazon, apparently. It's very cool," She was rubbing her father's hand. Edward didn't know who she was trying to comfort.

"What all have you told him?"

She smiled. "Everything, of course."

"Really?" _'What about that freaky vampire and her army? What about Jacob?'_

Edward snapped the branch under his hands. Both Charlie and Bella looked up. Bella was frowning. "I hope that is Edward with Jacob. If not, I _really_ don't want to see Edward until morning."

Charlie was confused by Bella's response, but Edward was already running. His mind was a red haze and he crashed into trees. He didn't care and kept going until he was adequately out of range of any human hearing. He ripped a few spruces out of the ground, sending them crashing into the forest.

A vampire army. It made the venom pool in his mouth from the thought. No wonder La Push was brimming with werewolves, if there was an _army of vampires_ in the neighborhood. Edward had no idea how Bella survived or anyone in Forks for that matter. Charlie having sudden knowledge of the supernatural was no surprise. It was a surprise that he wasn't an expert.

Edward growled, shredding up one of his fallen trees. Alice should have told him of this. If she wasn't there at the time, then she would have seen it. It didn't matter that he destroyed his cell phone. Alice should have hunted him down and dragged him back.

_'Bella said you might have found out.'_

Edward whirled around to the giant wolf. Jacob flinched, bracing himself for an attack automatically. "Why the _hell _are you here?" Edward snarled.

Jacob impulsively growled back. _'Because _some_ of us carry around a cell phone. And Bella was worry that you would overreact.' _

Edward really didn't feel like dealing with the wolf and decided to rip up another tree. "I am _not _overreacting," He threw it as hard as he could, letting it soar above the tree tops before crashing half a mile away.

'_What are you doing then?'_

"I'm…" It was suddenly as if he lost all of his strength and Edward fell to his knees. He gripped the dirt with his hands, as if it could keep him there. "I'm trying to do what I should have done thirteen years ago."

There was a strange sound, like wind blowing through the trees. Jacob's scent abruptly changed from an animal smell to a…not normal smell. Edward felt like it kept changing and he decided to ignore it.

"What does that mean?" Jacob, now a human with cut off shorts, was walking up to him, but paused a few meters away.

Edward gave a shuddering sigh. "Not leaving," He gripped the dirt tightly, wishing there was something better to hold on to. "I should have never left. That was a mistake. It was wrong."

Jacob took a step forward. "What are you-?"

Edward was suddenly on his feet, gripping the shifter by the shoulders. Jacob flinched, but didn't move away. "What if she was hurt? And I was…I was just sitting around the rainforest! What if she _died_?"

He was hurting the wolf, he could feel the bones in the shoulders protesting his grip. Jacob still didn't move. "Why do you care?" His voice was bitter, his eyes sharp.

Jacob abruptly groaned as a sharp crack filled the air. Edward let go, jumping back several meters. The shifter fell to his knees, curling up, trying to cradle his broken left shoulder with his good arm. "_Shit, _Edward!" He hissed, pressing his hand against his shoulder, trying to keep it in place as his body rapidly healed._ 'See if I try to comfort you from one of your tantrums again!'_

Edward was breathing heavily, though he had no real reason to. "I-I'm…" His voice stopped. He suddenly felt out of place. Why was he here? Why did he ever leave Alice alone in the desert? Why didn't he just go home and be with his family? What drew him here? To this place where he could only rip of trees and break a shifter's bones. He didn't know whether to feel angry or remorseful. He took a step close and Jacob flinched and then groaned from the movement.

'_You go throw your hissy fit elsewhere and leave me alone!'_

Edward frowned and found himself next to the wolf. Jacob glared up at him.

"Piss off," He muttered. He was breathing heavily and Edward could see him tallying up how many days it would take to heal. Only a couple, but he wouldn't be able to phase without risking injury.

"Let me look at it," His voice was quiet.

Jacob snarled and stood up, his face going ashen from the effort. _'Stupid leech.'_ He clutched at his arm.

Edward could almost hear the sound of the bones trying to mend, like a scraping sandpaper. "I can set it better than you can."

He reached out and Jacob flinched away, crying out at the same time from the movement. Edward managed to get a hand on Jacob's injured arm and the shifter went very still. The vampire watched the wolf closely as he gently moved his hands up to feel the bones. It was the scapula, at the smallest point, a clean break. At least he hadn't crush it. "I will need to press harder in order to make it set correctly," He warned, hoping it hadn't already begun to heal incorrectly. Quickly thinking, he took off his shirt and wrapped it around Jacob's arm.

The werewolf grunted from the effort, his eyes going a bit unfocused. His good arm clutched at Edward's elbow. "What are you doing?" His voice was breathy and in pain.

The vampire tied the ends of the shirt around Jacob's neck. "It's a sling. Your advanced healing should keep the bones together, you just need your arm to be immobile."

The shifter nodded, but Edward wondered if he was really listening. Jacob's mind was buzzing, no coherent thoughts. Edward put both hands on the shoulder, closing his eyes to envision the bones. He had tried medical school before, though he always dropped out early, not having the control of Carlisle. It was enough that he knew how everything should fit.

The advanced healing had already worked against him and he jabbed his fingers in to re-break the bone. Jacob's grip on his elbow flexed and Edward's skin cracked from the pressure. The vampire ignored it and carefully held the wolf's shoulder, listening to the sandpaper sound until he was convinced it would hold itself.

When he let go, Jacob gave a shuddering sigh, his eyes slowly gaining back focus. _'I can't believe I freak out over one broken bone. I've had much worse.'_

Edward checked his knot to make sure the sling was secured. "I've heard that shoulder injuries are particularly painful," He stepped back and Jacob nearly fell forward, he was still holding on to Edward's elbow. He quickly let go and tried to stand up straight, he swayed until his hand found a nearby tree to lean against. "But you say you've had worse, don't tell me this has to do with the vampire army."

'_So you haven't forgotten your anger.'_ Jacob slowly lowered himself to the ground to sit. "I've had basically all my ribs shatter. Now _that_ really hurt," His mind flashed images of a group of vampires, obviously inexperienced, fighting the wolves in a field.

"What happened? Why did they come?"

'_Bella'_

Edward felt himself growl, ready to rip out another tree, "_What!_"

Jacob ran a hand through his hair. _'I don't know how anyone stands to be around you with the annoying mind-reading.'_

Edward stepped forward, feeling his eyes blaze is fury. The shifter didn't seem to have the strength to even flinch. "Tell me _exactly_ what happened," His voice was low, dangerous.

'_I will, I will. I don't know how Bella kept it from you this long. I guess it was many years ago.' _He sighed. "Several months since you left town, our pack killed a vampire in the area. He was dangerously close to attacking Bella, but we got him in time."

"Laurent," Edward responded immediately to the image.

'_Yeah, whatever.' _"Anyway, then we started getting this red-headed vampire coming in our boundaries."

"Victoria," Edward growled the name.

Jacob scoffed, "Stop that and let me talk, it's driving me crazy. Anyway, so this Victoria kept coming around, but she was annoyingly fast. We thought she was the mate of the other leech, but Bella told me that you killed Victoria's mate and that the bloodsucker was specifically out for Bella."

Edward twitched, but managed to gain his control. "When did Alice come?" He ground out.

"The pre-cog girl? Not long after we permanently moved Bella to La Push. For protection," He added to Edward's glare. "Apparently she can't see werewolves too well, so she came to check out if Bella died or something. It was really awkward to meet her, we followed Bella _everywhere_. She also tried to capture Victoria, but the leech managed to escape in the ocean. We didn't see or smell her for nearly five months. Alice left after three."

Edward felt the weight of his cell phone in his pocket. "She never mentioned this to me," He muttered.

"Probably didn't see the need. We were a strong pack of ten by that point."

Edward grimaced, the thought of ten wolves surrounding Bella wasn't comfortable. "What happened after five months?"

Jacob frowned. "Despite the two vampires leaving town, our pack continued to grow. We knew there was a greater danger coming. We suspected the rise of a mysterious serial murderer in Seattle was cause for worry. In any case, five months later we got a group of a dozen vampires on our doorstep. The initial battle was…brutal."

Edward could see it in his mind. The pack of wolves against the vampires, probably newborns. The newborns were stronger, but disorganized. The pack had a clear strategy and more members. Individuals were weak, however.

Jacob bowed his head, his eyes looking intently on the ground. "We lost our Alpha, Sam," His voice was pained. "I had to take the lead. We managed to kill most of the vampires. But there was still the red-headed bloodsucker and her leech boyfriend. They were a better team, and with more focus, they took us on again a few days later. We…won, I guess."

Edward watched as the wolf closed his eyes. Obviously the memories were ones he didn't want to remember. It was more than the Alpha's death, it was five in total. Jacob couldn't speak to say their names, but Edward could see their faces, both wolf and human. They were all young, under the age of fourteen. They weren't as large as the rest of the pack and inexperienced. Jacob remembered their large eyes vividly, looking to him or Sam for guidance. He remembered the sounds of their howling and whimpering as their bones were crushed and fur ripped. The vampires had no interest in their blood, but they took great pleasure in tearing them to pieces.

It was very quiet in the forest. Edward did not wish to speak and Jacob had no will to. The memories were overwhelming him, but Edward just sat across from him and tried to absorb it all.

The deepest part of night came and went as Jacob forced himself to remember the boys who had fallen over a decade ago. Edward wanted to tell him to stop, that he didn't need to. But he knew why the shifter was doing this. He wanted Edward to respect what the pack had done for Bella, for their tribe, for the entire city of Forks. Edward may be furious now for not being informed of the danger, but the past was long dead and buried deep in the forest.

By the time Edward came back to himself, he was sitting on the forest floor. Across from him, Jacob was sleeping against the tree. His thoughts had become memories and his memories had become dreams. Now his dreams were lost in the darkness of sleep.

Edward looked around them, the carnage of the night made clear in the early morning sun. It was as if the battle took place here, not so long ago. The trees were smashed, or bent out of shape. Any shrubs or bushes were torn or flattened, lost in Edward's rage. He was ashamed, he quickly came to realize. And Jacob was right, he had thrown a tantrum like an unruly child.

The forest was waking with the dawn and Edward stood up to rouse Jacob. "It's morning, you should…go home, I suppose."

'_Dun have home…stupid leech,'_ He wasn't even half-awake.

Edward paused and shook his good shoulder again. "Then you should get up and accompany me to Bella's house."

Jacob feebly batted his hand away. _'Jus wanna sleep.'_

Edward sighed, closing his eyes. A couple days ago he would have let the shifter sleep in the middle of the woods. But after this night… "You asked for it," He muttered and bent down to pick up Jacob.

At any other time, Jacob probably would have woken up immediately and fought to stand on his own. But Edward could sense that the wolf was much more exhausted than he should have been. He was heavy, but not too much to bear. Arranging him on his back was a bit tricky with the shifter completely unconscious. In the end, it was much like carrying around a taller Emmett. Jacob's arm was flopped around his shoulder, the injured one tucked at Edward's back. His legs were hard to keep off the ground, but the vampire was able to go at a steady pace through the trees. He wasn't able to completely dodge every branch and Jacob suffered some minor scratches. It was a testament to the shifter's deep sleep that he didn't wake. The man's breath was hot on the back of his neck, but steady.

As Edward crossed into Bella's yard, she came rushing out of the house, as if she had been waiting. "Don't tell me you didn't sleep either," He groaned.

Her eyes had deep circles. "Had a little. Couldn't mostly," She looked worriedly at Jacob. "Is he alright?"

Edward shifted so she could see his arm in a sling. "I got a bit infuriated and broke his shoulder. It's mostly healed by now, should be fine in a day or so."

She frowned at him, but didn't press it further. She put a hand on Jacob's forehead but Edward didn't think she would be able to tell if he had a fever. The shifter's temperature was so hot that Edward swore his hands and back must be near human warmth. "Why is he unconscious?"

Edward began to walk towards the front door. "Sleeping. We stayed up most of the night…talking," He frowned as Bella opened the door for him. "Can a werewolf become ill?"

Bella watched him carefully navigate the massive body down the hallway. "No, but they can get depressed," She moved aside the pillows on the couch so Edward could lay the shifter down. She made sure Jacob's arm was steady.

The wolf's mind had been echoing their conversation, half-dreaming, half-waking. Now that he was settled, their words drifted into gibberish until the deep sleep was back. Edward looked at Bella, who was worriedly stroking Jacob's head. "Do you mean their battles against the newborn vampires?"

She flinched, looking up at him with pained eyes. "Yes, I'm sure that's still affecting him," Edward was also sure it was still affecting her. Automatically he reached out and drew her into his arms. She sighed into his shoulder, but kept her arms at her sides.

"I'm sorry…for so many things. You've suffered greatly and I should have been there to comfort you."

She gently pushed him away, looking up into his eyes. "But you weren't and time has passed," It wasn't a rebuke, but a statement of fact.

He closed his eyes. "I understand."

Her palm cupped his cheek and he leaned into her warmth, though not nearly as hot as Jacob had been. "There's more too, you know. Jacob may sleep with ghosts. But there's more that haunts him in the night."

He opened his eyes to her. "What do you mean?"

She frowned. "I can guess, but there is so much I don't know," She moved into the kitchen and Edward followed as she began to make breakfast. "Jacob is my best friend, but he has been so elusive for so many years. He comes over often, yes, but he only plays with Alice. We don't talk like we used to. He doesn't talk like he used to."

Edward watched her make pancakes, feeling useless. "Do you want my help?"

"I could use a cup of tea," She grimaced.

He found the kettle and filled it with water. "Your headache?"

She nodded. "It's unusually persistent. I've taken painkillers, but sometimes they don't seem to work."

Edward put a cool hand on her forehead, feeling for a fever. She actually felt a little chilled. "You should see a doctor."

She sighed. "Maybe…"

He frowned. "Do you not want to?"

She dug around in the fridge for bacon. "There's no reason really. I just have a bad feeling."

He pulled the package out as her hands kept sliding over it. He handed her a mug. "I'll take care of it. Now, explain what you mean."

She ran her finger around the rim of the cup. "It's nothing, just being silly," She grabbed a teabag as Edward's eyes followed her. "Look, I'll go to the doctor today, okay? Now don't let the pancakes burn, some of us will be eating them."

Edward sighed and let it drop. Sometimes it felt like Bella would keep secrets from him just because she knew she could. Edward heard movement form upstairs and stiffened. Bella put a hand on his shoulder. "It's Charlie," He muttered.

"Stay here, I'll go talk to him," She trotted upstairs and Edward tried to concentrate on making breakfast. He held his breath as he put the bacon down, not really wanting to smell cooking meat.

Charlie and Bella came down a moment later. Bella smiled at Edward, but his gaze was directed mostly towards her father. "Good morning," He greeted.

Chief Swan only grunted and sat down at the table. His thoughts weren't exactly friendly, but he was keeping himself reserved. Apparently Bella had threatened him if he made a scene. Bella picked up a couple of pancakes that were done and set them down in front of her father, he eyed them like they might be poisonous.

'_Where am I? Bella's house…?'_

Edward looked towards the living room. "Your dog is awake."

'_Shut it, leech.'_

Jacob walked into the kitchen, running a hand through his hair and looking more than a little bewildered. "Hey, Charlie."

"Morning Jacob," He still hadn't touched his food.

Bella smiled, pouring her water in the mug. "Glad to see you're alive, Jake."

He shrugged. "Mostly, anyway," He looked at Edward. "Some of that for me?"

"Of course, help yourself," Bella answered.

Jacob pretended to look carefully at the cooking bacon. _'You didn't carry me here like a girl, did you?' _His tone was only slightly joking.

Edward loaded a plate for him. "I assure you it was as manly as possible."

Jacob took the plate, grinning. _'Better have been, leech."_

"Eat your food, dog," Edward retorted.

"You know, mind-reading flirting is just as awkward as normal flirting," Bella chimed in from behind them.

Jacob flushed and nearly dropped his food. Edward gave her a withering look. Charlie was confused by the interaction. He was apparently under the idea that Jacob would be treating Edward just as coldly. He relaxed a little, but he didn't start eating his food until Jacob began to gorge on his.

More movement upstairs. "Oh, Mike's going to be late," Bella quickly put her mug down and ran up the stairs. The sound of her sliding off the first step in her clumsiness made Edward smile to himself. He finished up the bacon and walked into the living room just as Mike entered.

Settling down on the couch, he heard Bella fawn over her husband. Mike's voice was deeper than he remembered. He didn't stay long, but was running out the door. Jacob had followed Edward into the living room with his second plate of food.

"How's your arm feeling?" He noticed that the shifter was holding the plate with his bad arm and eating with the other.

"Fine, bit sore, I guess."

Bella was murmuring to her father and if Edward paid attention, he would be able to hear their hushed conversation. But he had enough eavesdropping last night. Instead he turned to Jacob. "Where do you live?"

He choked on his food. "Where did that come from?"

"You do have a home, don't you?" He persisted.

"Of course I do!"

"You know it's useless to lie to a mind-reader," Edward intoned.

Jacob glared at him, his food forgotten on his plate. _'You can't tell Bella.'_

"I think she already knows."

'_Not completely. She thinks I live somewhere in the woods in some beat up cabin. That's why she can't visit.'_

Edward narrowed his eyes. "You just as bad of a liar as she is."

Jacob sighed, putting his food down. "Maybe, but it's a nice lie to believe in. She could never convince me otherwise."

"Convince you to do what? Find a place to live?" Edward tried to keep himself from getting snippy, but Jacob didn't say anything about his tone.

'_Look, its complicated, okay?' _"I'd really appreciate if you would drop it."

Jacob was trying his best to hide his thoughts. They flickered by so fast, Edward could hardly keep up. "You're father? Why can't you live with him?"

'_Keep it down, okay?' _He looked to the kitchen. "Can we just…not talk about this?" _'Please?'_

Edward leaned forward. "Show me, then."

Jacob's thoughts were still flickering and the vampire wondered if the wolf really couldn't control them. Granted a normal person would not have the mental control that Edward had witnessed in Jacob. One day he would have to get around to figuring out why.

Jacob inhaled slowly. "I don't know why you are so persistent."

He raised an eyebrow. "Because I would like to know why at night I am sharing the woods with a horse-sized wolf."

'_Don't you have a massive house somewhere?'_

"I'll explain if you do."

Jacob leaned towards Edward then as well. _'I'll try to start from the beginning.'_

* * *

><p>It was like a dream, or maybe a nightmare. But not reality, anything but real.<p>

If they died in wolf form, they could not transform back. Those who were not torn to pieces by the vampires had to be ripped dragged back by the other wolves to the tribe to be buried. All their fur was soaked in blood and the smell wouldn't wash away.

There was Sam, who had been their anchor for so long. A strong leader. Jacob wasn't him, he didn't want to be. They couldn't find all the parts of his body among the carnage. they burned him with the destroyed vampires. The smoke was like acid and Jacob coughed up blood for months afterwards.

Most of the tribe knew of the existence of wolves, but chose to forget. The wolves chose to forget. Forget what running on four legs was like. Breathing in morning dew after a night patrol. Feeling each member of the pack, not only in thought, but in emotion. They drifted, seeds scattered in the wind, to plant themselves elsewhere.

Even after healing from the damage of battle, Jacob couldn't sleep at night. He would close his eyes and taste the bitter cold of vampire between his teeth. He would open his eyes to a father who could never comfort him. And Bella, who he had tried to love so much, who could never love him in return. In the end two broken hearts don't make a whole. They made pieces.

The escape was outside his skin. It was wrapping himself in fur and teeth and muscle. The wolf spirit had a mind of its own, a pure animalistic instinct. The human mind was so strong, it was near impossible to let go. But Jacob's conscious had already been drifting. Lost to the darkness of black smoke and blood on rough bark. The wolf coiled around his feeble soul and held it tenderly.

So many days. So many nights. And two years.

Bella found him and it had been so long since he heard a voice between the moss covered trees. It reminded him of the connection with the pack, hearing everyone's voice, even miles away. But when he phased back, he wasn't the same. His body felt different, tense and stretched out over too many years. He could visit Bella, but he could never be with her. He could never be with his father or even the rest of the tribe. He was no longer human, but he could never be a wolf.

He was lost in the woods and didn't know if he wanted to find himself again.


	6. The Way I Loved You

Synchronous Rotation: Always Facing

Chapter 5

The Way I Loved You, Taylor Swift, Jacob/Bella

_Breaking down and coming undone._

* * *

><p>Edward watched as Jacob curled up into himself. Bringing his legs up on the chair, he hid his face in his knees. His shoulders were shaking, but he was completely silent. He was still projecting his thoughts, but they were repeating uncontrollably. His body was tense, trying to control his own mind. But he couldn't and Edward could only sit and listen.<p>

Bella walked into the room, but seemed to lose her voice at the sight. She reached out to comfort Jacob, but instinct held her hands away. Edward wondered if she could hear the overwhelming thoughts as he could, or maybe she could sense their presence.

"I will take care of him," He whispered, hardly hearing them outside of the thoughts in his head.

"Will you?"

He looked at her. Her eyes were red and wet with unshed tears and she was clutching the hemline of her shirt with white knuckles. She was staring at Jacob's quivering form, unblinking. Edward stood up and embraced her, she never turned her head away. He knew that Jacob's memories weren't all the correct interpretation. Bella loved him, she truly did. But perhaps in a way he couldn't understand yet.

"What happened?" She whispered.

Edward let his gaze slide from her to the shifter. "I'll explain it as best as I can later. For now, just know that it's my fault."

She frowned, ready to question further but Charlie called for her from the kitchen. She sighed and slowly stepped away from Edward. "Charlie is going to come with me to see the doctor and he will come back later to pick up Alice for her ballet lesson. Can you watch her while I'm gone?"

He nodded, brushing aside her wayward hair. He wondered if she had brushed it that morning or if she had only run her hands through it so many times from worry. "I'll be here."

She sighed deeply and turned to go back to Charlie. Edward watched as they gathered their things and headed out the door. He didn't, couldn't, read Charlie's thoughts. Jacob's were still too loud.

Once they were gone, Edward listened upstairs and could here Alice's heartbeat slow and steady. She was still sleeping. He knew he should deal with Jacob before she woke, but he was unsure what to do.

He stood in front of his body, but was unable, just as Bella, to reach out and touch him. It was like his memories. His body was breakable, it might shatter if Edward were to even get too close.

"Jacob," He whispered, leaning down. "Jacob, you've got to stop."

The shifter couldn't hear him, his thoughts still cycling over and over.

"Jacob, look at me. See where we are. We are at Bella's house. It's over now, come back here."

But it wasn't over, every event from the last thirteen years would never be over for Jacob. He tried to hide from memory in the woods, but he didn't realize that the trees kept secrets.

Edward held his breath and slowly placed a hand on Jacob's warm head. His hair was long and stringy, uncared for. It was so black that Edward's hand seemed to shine in comparison, like paper drowning in a pool of ink.

There was no change from Jacob and Edward let go of the breath he was holding. Another idea sprang to mind, remembering how he would always comfort Bella. Despite the gravity of the situation, he wasn't sure if he was ready for that yet. But there was no harm in trying and at least no one was around to see.

Slowly, carefully, Edward slide his hand down Jacob's neck and hooked the other around his shoulder. It was an awkward hug, as Jacob's knees were between them, but it wasn't at the same time. Edward suddenly found a great sense of relief, holding the entire wolf in his arms. Jacob stopped shaking and it was like holding together a crumbling building. Edward could save him, as long as he held on.

This close, he could smell the saltiness of tears. Jacob's heartbeat was fluttering, like a bird, though slowly gaining back its usually rhythm. "Why is it so hard?" His voice was hoarse. Only Edward's superior hearing could pick it up. "After so many years…why can't I forget?"

"It is not something that can be forgotten," Edward murmured, threading his fingers through Jacob's hair. "And if you try, when you close your eyes, ten years will disappear and you come home, only to try to pick up the pieces."

The wolf shuddered and lifted his head. "That's what you were doing in South America, wasn't it? You weren't sightseeing or exploring, you were dreaming."

Edward pushed back Jacob's hair, much the same way he did Bella's, though Jacob's hair was now longer. "Vampires don't dream."

"Then how did you come back?"

His brown eyes were swirling and Edward could see the memories there, still stuck on repeat. How he was able to hold a conversation while so distracted was beyond him. "I remembered…Alice, my sister, and how she can love a person before she has met them. I remembered Carlisle and how he has stood with me through my darkest hours. And I remembered Bella and how loving her made me cherish…" He frowned, not being able to think of the right word.

"Time, right?" Jacob's eyes were clearer now.

"What?"

The shifter let his legs fall, though the space was still between them. "I haven't been immortal for very long, but I understand what time means. Or doesn't mean," He exhaled heavily, leaning forward slightly, as if he would rest his head on Edward's shoulder. "I'm so tired. It's like whenever I see you, I pass out."

Edward gently retracted his arms and Jacob slouched against the chair. "I've been told it's because I dazzle those around me."

Jacob gave a half-grin, his eyes already shutting and Edward let himself smile a little. _'I think it's because I feel relaxed around you.'_

Edward stood up, watching the wolf slowly fade into sleep. "A werewolf relaxing around a vampire? Impossible."

'_You could say the same about a werewolf imprinting on a vampire. Impossible.'_

"Yet here we are."

'_But where is 'here'?"_

Edward didn't answer, Jacob was already snoring softly.

* * *

><p>Edward decided that there was no way for him to retain dignity after being thoroughly bested in seven games of Candy Land against a six year old. Alice was making her seventh victory lap around her bedroom when Edward heard Charlie's car drive up. He had never been more grateful for an interruption by Bella's father.<p>

Alice bounded down the stairs before him into Charlie's waiting arms. "Grandpa! Grandpa! Edward is _not_ a Candy Land princess!"

Edward closed his eyes to the burst of laughter from the man. "Your grand-daughter holds nothing sacred," He muttered.

Charlie, pretending to ignore him, turned his attention to the girl. "Alice, why aren't you dressed? I have to drive you to your ballet lesson."

"Oh! Sorry, be right back," She whirled around and bounded back up the stairs.

Edward found himself alone with a man who was steadfastly trying to ignore him. Edward let silence pass between them, only interrupted by loud snoring coming from the living room. "May I ask how the doctor's visit went?" He eventually ventured.

Charlie frowned, standing by the doorway like he was guarding it. "Bella is still talking with the doctor." _'I don't like it.'_

"Any diagnosis?"

"Just questions." _'And never the right answers.'_

Edward sighed, but only for the purpose of putting Charlie more at ease. He would never need to sigh in front of his family. But there was no harm in acting more human, after all the last vampire the man had encountered was trying to kill his daughter. "Do I have anyway of making you feel less ill will towards me?"

_'Not likely.'_ Charlie suddenly looked like he swallowed a lemon. "I forgot about the mind-reading."

Edward shrugged, like it was a harmless detail. "I'm not here to pick fights. Or to hurt Bella," He hastily added to Charlie's thoughts.

"Then why are you here?" _'Just leave before you do any damage.'_

"Closure."

_'What does that mean?'_

Running a hand through his hair, Edward turned towards the living room. This conversation was a lost cause. "It means that once I leave here, I probably won't come back. If that gives you comfort."

Alice was bounding down the stairs in her leotard, ballet slippers in hand. "Ready!" Charlie didn't have to respond. Not that he wanted to. He just quickly took his grand-daughter away, wondering if there were more motives to Edward than what was said.

_'Did you mean that?'_

Edward looked towards the living room. Jacob must be awake. "I'm surprised that you could hear all the way out here. We had to shout upstairs just to hear ourselves above your snores."

"Very funny," '_You're avoiding the question_.' Jacob walked into the living room, running his good hand through his messy hair.

Edward backtracked a little. "What do you mean by the question?"

The werewolf frowned. "Are you really going to never come back?"

"Well, yes. Once I'm done here, I'll have no reason to come back," Edward watched as Jacob winced. "Granted in the next fifty to seventy years I may return with my family, we do have a home here."

'_Fifty to seventy years? Oh, God…'_ Jacob was leaning against the wall and turning rapidly pale.

"Why are you panicking?" Edward was confused and stepped forward to prop the shifter up. Jacob flinched away from him, glaring.

"Are you really that dumb?"

Edward blinked. "Oh, it's an imprint thing, then?"

_'Stupid leech,'_ "Of course it's an imprint thing!" He ran his hand through his hair again, grabbing fistfuls of it. "How can you mention is one minute and forget about it the next?"

_Because it doesn't effect me_. Edward swallowed that answer, knowing it would only enrage the wolf. He tugged Jacob's hand from his hair. "Look, you're…immortal. Or at least can chose to be. You'll find out that fifty years is nothing," He wasn't going to bring up that he could invite Jacob to live with him and his family. Not that his family would ever agree to inhale the scent of dog constantly, but Edward personally really didn't want to have the shifter following him around. It would give the wrong impression.

"You have no idea what you are talking about!" He tried to yank his arms back, but Edward held on.

"I've been living for over a hundred years, I think I know what immortality is."

_'But you have no idea what an imprint is!'_ Jacob didn't say the words aloud, only because he was growling and wrenching his arms free. There were bruises on his dark skin, but they lightened almost immediately. He rubbed his broken shoulder as if the strain had hurt it He was glaring. "Well, how long?"

Edward frowned. "What?"

Jacob gritted his teeth. "How long until you're finished here?"

Edward opened his mouth, ready with his usual answer; closure. But he knew that wouldn't cut it for the wolf. Jacob wanted to know specifics. Was it when Edward had divulged every moment of Bella's life that he missed? Was it when Charlie got too fed up with his presence and demanded him to leave? Was it more abstract? Was it when Edward could finally see Bella as a grown woman, a wife and mother? Was it when Edward had gotten his fill of his favorite home and forgotten every bad memory?

There were so many questions floating around the vampire's mind, he didn't notice Jacob's anger leaving with confusing replacing it. He didn't read the mind that was shocked that Edward couldn't formulate an answer to such a simple question. But was it a simple question?

"Alice," He suddenly stated and Jacob was even more confused. His mind automatically brought up Bella's daughter and Edward shook his head. "No, my sister. She'll tell me when I come home."

The wolf slowly dredged up the memory of Edward's vampire sister. "The pre-cog?"

"Yes," Edward wasn't paying too much attention, taking out his cell-phone and walking out of the house. It was somewhat annoyed him that Jacob followed. He was genuinely curious to what Alice would say. It would make everything so much easier if she could tell him what would be enough for him to return to the family. Strolling through the trees and ignoring the wolf trailing behind him, he heard Alice's light voice answer.

"Edward! I wasn't expecting…" She sounded a bit worried.

The vampire looked over his shoulder to the shifter that was obviously trying to listen in. Edward wondered briefly how good Jacob's hearing was. Could he hear Alice? It seemed not, perhaps his hearing improved when he was a wolf. "There's a werewolf trailing me."

He could almost see her wrinkle her small nose. "Ugh, I understand."

"I just want you to see something for me-"

He barely got the words out before she groaned. "_Edward_," She moaned, like she was suddenly a five year old, dragging out the sound of his name. "You are such a blank to me right now. It is incredibly _annoying_."

He grinned. "I'm not asking you to look at me right now. I know where I am."

"Yeah, sure. But do you know where you're going?"

He frowned, trying to comprehend her meaning when he looked up and found himself in front of his house. It seemed like no time he got there, he must have been walking fast. He didn't even notice Jacob panting behind him.

"Ah, you've arrived. And you thought that you would never go back," She was mocking him, but Edward was still confused.

"How did you know? Aren't I blank right now?" He frowned. "And how did you know that I decided not to return here. I didn't say it aloud."

She was laughing. "Oh, Edward, with all your mind-reading, you forget the rest of us have to adapt _somehow_. Let's just say that since you see people as such open books, you tend to be one yourself," She paused, stifling her laughter a bit. "And for the other question. Once I knew the werewolf would be a near _constant_ presence, I began to look for the blanks."

Edward was massaging a non-existence headache in his forehead. "Meaning?"

"It's like looking at a map of Forks and seeing this shadow move around it. Of course, you are not always in the shadow, but when you are no where else. Well, it doesn't take brain surgery," She coughed awkwardly. "I-I mean…it's a bit more complicated than that. Since my powers aren't conducive to werewolves, I can never _look_ for them, but I can certainly look around them. Mostly it's guesswork, because I have to stare at places and see if they disappear. Then I have to cross-reference you for that exact time and-"

"You really don't have to explain more," Edward cut in. Compared to the rest of his family, Edward had the best grasp on Alice's power, beside for herself. It wasn't that much of an advantage, on the other hand, since Alice's precognition was based less on technicalities and more on feelings. Without a empathetic power, Edward could only guess at her technique. "I have a better question for you."

"Just because this is one of the few times I don't know what you are asking before you ask it, doesn't mean you have to ask," She snorted. "Blah, that was a garble of a sentence."

He ignored her commentary. "When am I coming home?"

"Fifteen days."

He tightened his lips, pretending not to notice Jacob out of his peripheral vision. Obviously the werewolf would be very interested in the answer. Edward was hesitant to repeat it aloud. He wasn't sure if Jacob would like the answer. Certainly Edward never planned to stay years in Forks, but fifteen days suddenly seemed very short. He felt like he had only got gotten there after one week. Fifteen days felt more than brief, it felt cut off.

He wasn't about to tell it to Jacob yet. "Are you sure?"

She sighed. "It's just about the only thing I'm sure about with your future, Edward. In fact, it is almost…alarming how sure it is."

"You know something."

"I know a lot of things."

"Then tell me," He forced himself to relax his grip on the phone, the plastic was protesting.

There is silence on the other end and he could almost hear whispers. Alice was talking to someone. Was it a coincidence? Or was she conferencing? Edward gritted his teeth, _nothing_ was a coincidence with Alice. "Edward?"

It wasn't Alice, it was Carlisle. Edward felt himself slowly grow numb, even as his chest warmed. It had been so long since he talked to his father. Carlisle's voice was soft, soothing. "I'm still here," He whispered, aching to hear the older vampire's thoughts. Not because he wanted to read his secrets, but just to feel that closeness again. That intimacy he felt for so many years when there was only the two of them.

"Alice is worried about telling you anything," A door closed. Was he in his office? Edward had never seen their house in North Dakota, but Carlisle always had an office with the same decoration. Edward could see him leaning back in his chair, staring at the painting of the Volturi, never really seeing it.

"It's bad then?"

"It is…complicated."

"So it's bad," Edward realized that he had begun walking towards the house, through the living room, and into Carlisle's study. Just to feel it.

"You will find out tomorrow morning, according to Alice. And don't try to rush it."

Edward was already connecting the points in his head. Almost forcefully, he shoved it aside. It would do no good to stew on half-facts. "Will it come out alright? Could I come home in fifteen days because they would be the most fulfilling two weeks I've ever experienced?" He was begging, but he didn't mind Carlisle hearing it.

"It will be fulfilling, I promise you, Edward. More fulfilling than you can imagine, or possibly appreciate in the years to come," His voice was still soft, but emphatic. Edward wondered if Carlisle was trying to convince himself.

"It does sound complicated."

He chuckled, a warm sound from deep in his chest. "The best things in life are…and the worst."

"Are you trying to warn me or make me worried?" He tried, half-joking.

"Just promise me something, Edward," Carlisle's voice was anything but joking, "When you get back, come to me and tell me everything. Everything that has happened since I last saw you in Forks, thirteen years ago."

Edward pursed his lips. "Dare I ask why?"

"Because you'll need to talk to someone."

"But why wouldn't I talk to you? I've missed you so much."

"I have missed you too. Will you promise me?"

Edward looked around the office. There was white sheets over all the furniture, the walls stripped bare. He remembered why he hated to look at the place when he first returned. "I promise, Carlisle."

He clicked off the phone with no goodbye. After all, he had felt like the entire conversation was a farewell of sorts. He sat down on the floor, unwilling to move the cover from the chair. He just wanted to sit and think.

Or not think, as he really just stared at the wall and tried to not comprehend an impending disaster. Nearly two hours later, he remembered there was a werewolf outside.

Edward knew it was too much to hope that Jacob would leave by the time he came back. Unfortunately, the shifter was still lounging amongst the trees surrounding the Cullen back yard. Edward stood on the back porch. "Glad to see you still have manners. I half expected you just to break in and make yourself at home."

Jacob moved from the trees. "Don't you know that werewolves can't enter a residence without permission? Burns us up otherwise."

Edward blinked very slowly. "Really?"

Jacob snorted. '_Stupid, leech'_ "If you're buying that then I seriously doubt your abilities as a mind-reader."

Edward closed his eyes and put a hand on his forehead. He couldn't defend himself from such a lapse in attention and logic. "Look, why don't you go-" _home_. He stopped himself, remembering that Jacob didn't have a home. Or at least a house. The wolf by now probably got used to roughing it out in the woods and considered the whole forest a home. "Just…come inside. If you find something to eat, help yourself."

He turned and walked through the door, removing the large white sheets as he went. If he was going to spend anymore time in the house, he couldn't stand to see the cloth. Jacob sneezed at the dust. "Why would you have food?"

Edward shrugged, calmly folding the material and setting it aside. "Appearances. Unless Bella came over for a meal, we only stocked dried or canned food. Some might be still good, even after thirteen years."

The shifter was already moving into the pantry, his thoughts impressed by the size of the house. He rummaged around and Edward saw him looking at cans of food, weighing the possibility that pork and beans could go bad ten years after the expiration date. He immediately began to take out as many cans as he could get a hold of. "Didn't you just eat…a few hours ago?" He suddenly remarked.

"I'm _always_ hungry. Used to practically eat my father out of house and…" He trailed off, the old man's face suddenly coming to mind.

Edward stepped into the kitchen where Jacob stood frozen, still holding the can. "When was the last time you saw him?"

"It doesn't matter." _'I can't remember.'_

The vampire decided not to comment and put the sheets into the closet. "You can stay here, if you want."

Jacob looked up, "What?"

"If the smell doesn't bother you too much, you can sleep here. I don't think my family would appreciate you using their beds, but the couch is fair game."

_'The smell doesn't bother me. It only smells like you anyway_._' _Jacob slowly put the beans down on the counter. "Why?"

Edward smirked. "Well, since we vampires don't sleep, beds are only used for one activity and-"

Jacob quickly waved his hands. "No, no! I _definitely_ didn't mean that. I just…" He ran a hand through his hair, looking up around the large kitchen. Edward could see in his mind that his father's kitchen could fit ten times in here. Edward could also see many other thoughts.

"Look, to be truthful, I am really just not comfortable with you lurking around the woods. I'd rather have you where I can see you. Also, Bella would appreciate you not sleeping on the ground."

He quickly looked at Edward. "You'll tell her?"

The vampire shrugged. "Unless she asks where you are staying? No."

"I still don't understand."

"But you have an idea?" Edward could see it flashing across his mind.

Jacob looked away, his hand holding the can without really seeing it. "Imprint."

"I'm not doing this for the imprint," The shifter flinched and Edward sighed. "Really, you cannot expect me too. Unless you want me to feel pity for your uncontrollable infatuation with me."

He glared. "I am not _infatuated_."

Edward waved his hand. "Whatever you like. But I am doing this because this is an empty house and though your wolf might like being exposed to the elements, you're still human," For some reason, Jacob flushed slightly at that statement. "Besides, I won't be here for much longer."

The shifter froze and Edward could hear his heart rate increase. Jacob wouldn't meet his eyes. "How long?"

Edward wasn't sure if he wanted to really tell Jacob everything Alice and Carlisle had revealed to him. He hardly wanted to think about it himself. He considered also withholding his leaving date. But it would be all for the sake of keeping secrets and despite being a werewolf, Jacob had been oddly friendly and forthcoming in the past week. "Fifteen days."

The shifter's mind was trying to figure out the same scenario that Edward had just a few hours earlier. "Do you know the circumstances?"

Edward leaned against the counter, for no other reason than because the wolf was filling with tension and he was about to disappoint him. Acting human was always his habit when he needed to calm someone. "No. Alice has an idea, but she won't tell me."

Jacob stepped forward. "But _you_ have an idea?"

"Certainly, but what does it matter?" Jacob was close enough that Edward could feel his unnatural heat radiating on him. "The future isn't certain and there are many unknown factors."

"So you could not leave in two weeks?" Jacob was irrationally latching onto his words.

Edward stepped back. "Alice was certain I would be back then. And since I don't know the circumstances of my departure, it is unlikely that I could change it," He knew the werewolf would argue more, so he continued. "Look, I've accepted your imprint. You won't die if you don't see me every day."

Jacob flinched again, this time a bit more violent. It seemed if Edward even said the word, it had a deep affect on the werewolf. "But _fifty_ years?"

"We've already talked about this."

"And you still don't understand!" Jacob growled and turned around to pace a few steps before coming back, glaring. "Look, an imprint isn't that simple. You can't just say you accept it then only refer to it as 'my' imprint. It affects us both. It also isn't something that can be filled up like a tank of gas! It's more than just seeing you or even talking to you! It's about…!"

He bit his lip, but the thought still escaped.

'_It's about a deeper connection.'_

Edward watched as Jacob growled, obviously knowing that the vampire could just read his thoughts. The shifter abruptly stormed into the living room and began to fiercely rip the white sheet off the piano and fold it up, trying to distract himself.

Edward stood by the doorway, watching Jacob awkwardly fold up the cloth with one hand. "Tell me about the other imprinted werewolves. You've mentioned them before."

Jacob ripped the cloth, but didn't seem to notice. It was painful for him to think about the pack he used to have. "There is S-Sam," He stuttered, then braced himself accordingly. "He imprinted on Emily. It was like instant love for them. Almost immediately they got engaged."

"See, I told you that you have an infatuation with me," Edward commented lightly, trying to keep the wolf from remembering too much about the deceased pack leader.

Jacob took it. "That was _one_ example. There is also Paul. He imprinted on my sister. They started dating, but it never went anywhere near an engagement. I-I haven't talked to them in a long time, but I could see them just being good friends. There just wasn't that spark between them," He swallowed thickly, moving to take the sheet off the couch next. "Then there's Quil, he imprinted on Clare when she was a baby. We all thought it was freaky, but he just became the best babysitter in the world. Nothing creepy about it. After…after everyone began to put their wolf aside and stop changing, he held on the longest," Jacob folded this cloth carefully and Edward could see the young man staying with Jacob in a two member wolf pack. Quil was obviously a very good friend. "I thought he would continue to change until Clare became an adult. But it soon became obvious that he really didn't want to marry the girl he raised. He decided to stop and age, so he could continue to be in that caretaker roll. I expect no girl has ever had a better uncle than him."

He was quiet for a moment, hardly moving his hands around the sheet, his mind lost to the memories of friends and family. Edward wondered if Jacob even remembered that he hadn't seen them in a decade. Edward wondered if they even remembered Jacob.

"So…a deeper connection," Edward brought up to bring Jacob out of his own head.

The werewolf looked up, his eyes only slightly distant. "You know, I used to think that if I ever imprinted, I would understand it better. After all, I've been inside all their minds and felt a lot of their emotions. But it is still different, somehow, than I ever imagined."

"How is it different?"

Jacob could seem to formulate the words. But his mind gave enough of the message. _'I don't know what I am to you.'_

"An acquaintance," Edward answered immediately.

Jacob's short laugh was a mixture of humor and breaking. "An imprinted acquaintance, I don't think it works like that."

"A friend then."

"Yes, a friend that you admitted, just five minutes, to not trusting enough to have him out of your sight."

Edward sighed. "What do you want?"

"For you to consider me," The vampire was confused, but Jacob looked pleased with his words. "Yes, consider me."

"How do you mean?"

Jacob folded the blanket into a square, laying it on the couch like a pillow. "What do you think of me? And I mean _really_. Because as much as we've talked these past few days, you're frame of mind is always shadowed by Bella. By what she thinks of me or what she wants for me or what she thinks is best. I know how Bella considers me, now I want you to. And don't tell me you've already figured me out, because I seriously doubt you give much thought about me at all. Unless, I'm standing in front of you, that is."

Edward grabbed the sheet from the couch and fetched him a proper pillow. He wasn't going to argue with the werewolf. He couldn't even be certain whether his words were true or not. "What if you don't like how I see you. What if I realize that I can't stand being in your presence?"

Jacob gratefully took the pillow and lay on his side, no longer looking at the vampire. "Then I had better eat all the food in your pantry before you kick me out," He flashed a grin over his shoulder. "Now does this TV still get reception?"

* * *

><p>A phone call from the power company ensured the television would turn on. Then, as an after thought, Edward also called for gas and water to also be turned on again. Despite Jacob's attempts at being relaxed, eating three cans of beef and potatoes at record speed while never tearing his eyes away from the flashing television, he had an air of tension.<p>

It was probably because Edward was tense. Carlisle said he would know at dawn. He didn't know what exactly, but the worry of something terrible was killing him. He tried to calm down by scrubbing the house clean again. By the time he had moved his piano three times around the living room, Jacob growled from the couch.

"What is wrong with you? You're constant pacing is driving me crazy!"

Edward sat down heavily on the other end of the couch, for no other reason than he had exhausted every other activity. "Distract me then," He ordered.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "I'm not here for entertainment, you know. _I'm_ the guest," Edward was surprised at his short tone, but then again, the shifter did look irritated.

"Why are you angry?"

Jacob shut off the television so he could glare at Edward without distraction. "_You_, stupid leech, pacing around the house like some madman! What has gotten to you?" '_Is it me?' _The second question is never said aloud, but Jacob still felt its embarrassment.

"No, it has nothing to do with you," Edward counted his breathes for a minute, trying to bring his scattered mind to some normalcy. "Do you have any hobbies?"

The wolf was thrown by the sudden change in conversation. "What? Uh…what do you mean?" His mind was trying to connect Edward's sentences, it wasn't working.

The vampire prayed for patience. "What I mean, you idiot mutt, do you have any hobbies, besides for cleaning out the pantries of neighboring vampires_?_"

Jacob was unimpressed by his tone. "Of course I have hobbies," He sneered. Edward just glared until the shifter relented his petulant tone. He finally sat back in the cushions and pondered the answer. "Well, if I'm not at Bella's place, I'm usually by myself. I guess I like to…explore."

"Explore? Where?" Edward threw the questions out carelessly.

Jacob still seemed to take them seriously. "Here, of course. It's beautiful, you know. I used to hike a lot before I became a werewolf, but it's so much easier when I'm phased. I can go so many places and _see_ and _hear_ things," He smiled and Edward could see practically the entire Olympic Peninsula displayed in his mind with almost…loving care. "It started as an escape, to lose myself in the woods. I guess I did, a little. But I can't really appreciate it all without both my human and wolf side working to full capacity."

It reminded Edward of his stunt with the Amazon river; his desperate attempt to forget everything. But while Jacob began to see the forest, Edward never did. Nor did he really succeed in his attempt to forget memory. "You hunt here too?" It wasn't supposed to be a question, but Edward's voice rose in attempt to change the direction of the conversation.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Of course, you think I got a kitchen somewhere in the middle of the woods? Bella feeds me every time I come over, but she has no idea how much of a appetite a wolf has."

"She doesn't like you hunting?"

"Less of the hunting, more of the eating of raw flesh," Jacob grinned. "But I forget that you're okay with that part."

Edward felt his eyes narrow, his throat suddenly feeling dry. He hadn't fed in about a week. He usually felt it more keenly around Bella, her blood a constant reminder. But Jacob's smell made him nearly forget about his craving.

Jacob noticed the change in mood and tensed, trying to lean away from Edward. "What are you thinking about?" '_Please don't bite me_'

Edward smirked. "Mutt blood is a little too…_rancid_ for my tastes."

The werewolf bristled, his mind throwing out retorts, but his mouth was much cleaner, "Whatever you say, I'm not taking any chances. Look, just go hunt or something if you're hungry."

"A wolf asking a vampire to feed? You're great-grandfather would be ashamed."

The other man looked ready to stick out his tongue like a child. "Shut up, leech."

"Idiot dog," Edward neatly retorted, but there was no heat. There hadn't been any real threat in their conversations for some time now, Edward realized, even as Jacob continued to issue out the slurs.

"So, any more questions for this interrogation?" Jacob was grinning.

Edward thought carefully, trying to come up with more distractions. But one thing was truly on his mind and he had to voice her somehow. "You dated Bella, right?"

The shifter inhaled sharply and then held his breath, searching Edward for a sign. "Yeah," He said slowly, unwilling to give more, but his mind was buzzing.

Edward picked through the thoughts and memories, trying to figure out what he really wanted to ask. "Why?" He settled until he could think of something better.

Jacob hesitated again, memories at the forefront of his mind, but they didn't make much sense to Edward. Bella sitting in her truck, wet and cold. Bella on a motorcycle, a look of joy and desperation displayed on her face as she crashed into a tree. Bella on the beach, looking at Jacob, telling him he wasn't a monster. "She needed me," He finally answered.

Edward was having his own flashbacks to Alice's phone calls many years ago, begging him to come back. Also to Charlie's thoughts of worry, seeing the memory Bella losing the will to live. "Tell me, truthfully, did she ever blame me for leaving?"

A wave of anger rose in Jacob, but died almost immediately. "No, never. I don't think she could," He sighed, resolving his mind. He leaned forward, towards Edward. "Okay, I'll try to explain. She was in a bad state when you left, and I don't think I need to tell you how desperate it was," Edward nodded in agreement, he could see the lifeless girl in Jacob's eyes. "But one day, out of nowhere, she came to me. She asked me to help her fix up some old motorcycles," He shrugged. "I really didn't know, still don't in fact, if she really had a sudden interest of just the will to fulfill her death wish."

Edward flinched at the words, but Jacob kept talking in the same matter-of-fact tone.

"In any case, she opened up to me. Charlie couldn't tell me enough how grateful he was. And it felt good, making Bella smile or laugh or anything besides the nothingness before. I felt confident enough to fall in love with her and I guess she felt desperate enough to let me."

He pursed his lips, seeing a teenaged Bella hold his hand with loose fingers.

"It was never easy, we argued constantly. And you probably know it was all about you," He ran a nervous hand through his hair. "You have no idea how unbelievably frustrating it is to lose to someone who isn't even there. Someone who had hurt her worse than any physical pain could," He sighed. "After…after the vampire army, I lost the will to argue with her and she lost the will to care about me. Not that I could blame her, I was in a bad place."

_Are you still?_ Edward wanted to ask, but he already knew the answer.

"When she asked to break up, I agreed," He bit his lip, looking at Edward nervously. "Not because I didn't love her anymore, but because I knew she wasn't happy with me. I couldn't make myself happy, so I figured I would do everything I could to make sure she kept smiling, still laughed. I pretended to have fallen out of love with her and she believed me," He frowned. "Though I'm sure she figured out the lie when I disappeared for two years afterwards. She never said anything though."

"Was she married by the time you returned?"

Jacob gave him a funny look. "No, of course not, though she was certainly serious about Mike."

Edward pursued his mind, trying to see the jealously that he used to have, but turning up nothing. "Weren't you angry?"

"No, not really," Jacob frowned. "I dunno, I think I wasn't capable of being really angry or anything. I was still partially wolf at the time, it was hard for me to even talk in logical sentences. I was also just…older I guess. My emotions weren't as intense as they used to be, even if my body hadn't changed," He peered at Edward, "Are _you_ angry?"

"No, not at all," He answered instantly.

Jacob snorted. "Come on, you must be insanely jealous. You and I both know that you've spent the last thirteen years _pining_ over her," Despite the condescending tone, Jacob's words didn't feel the sting they should have possessed. His eyes suddenly lit up and he bit back a laugh. "I know what it is! You're not jealous because you don't see Mike as competition. I bet you haven't even looked at him since coming back," He grinned impishly. "You think you can just walk in here and take Bella whenever you want. The only thing holding you back is that you know it'd be…_dishonorable_ or something," He chuckled.

Edward frowned at the tone. "And where did you get that ridiculous theory?"

"Silly mind-reading leech, you forget what the rest of us have to do in order to read a person's mind," He leaned forward. "And _you_ are easier than most."

Edward was having flashbacks of Alice's words said to him not a couple hours earlier. _Oh, Edward, with all your mind-reading, you forget the rest of us have to adapt somehow. Let's just say that since you see people as such open books, you tend to be one yourself_. He didn't feel comfortable with Jacob being on the same wavelength as Alice.

The idea itself was also uncomfortable, mostly because Edward felt it to be not completely false. He had never really considered Mike, because he didn't feel that Mike needed consideration. He had never entertained the idea of taking Bella away, but only because he knew it would be a terrible thing to rip apart her family. To be truthful, if he really wanted to win Bella's affections back, he knew he could do it and beat out any courtship that Mike Newton could dream up.

He grinned at the thought but immediately felt guilty for day-dreaming of tearing Bella's family apart. Well, not completely guilty. Edward noticed Jacob was staring at him, probably wondering about his extended silence. There was another thing he had been wondering about. "So you came back to find Bella had moved on. You went home, right?" Jacob had tried and failed to adequately explain his reasons for not returning home. As far as Edward knew from his brief flashbacks, his father was still alive but for some reason Jacob refused to live there as he used to.

The shifter frowned, his mind replaying conversations that had no context for Edward. "Yes…I did for a time. It was hard though, not only because I had disappeared for two years without warning, but because so much had changed between us. My dad was more than angry or confused, he was disappointed in me."

Edward could see the disjointed memories and emotions playing in Jacob's mind. Billy Black wasn't one for crying, but Jacob felt like he had broken his father's heart. "He wanted to forget as much as you did," He supplied as the silence drew on.

For a moment, Jacob's eyes were painfully raw, like old wounds reopening. But he quickly closed himself up again and Edward realized for the first time that the wolf was always trying to cover his emotions, even futility in the presence of a mind-reader. "Yes," He whispered, "the battle between the pack and the vampires and the resulting…deaths hurt him as much as it did me. Even without being in the battle, he felt responsible as an elder of the tribe and one of the few deeply knowledgably of the histories and myths," He sighed, closing his eyes, but still seeing his father looking smaller and smaller in his wheelchair, shrinking under some unseen weight."Yes, he wanted to forget, but our methods were different. I tried to forget by losing myself to the wolf. He tried to forget by rejecting anything to do with wolves."

It was obvious to Edward now. "He was rejecting you," He stated simply and though he did not intend to be blunt, Jacob flinched anyway.

"Y-yeah, I guess you could see it that way. Even living at home, I was frequently shifting and disappearing for hours, even days. He hated it. I always thought it was because it looked like I was abandoning him. Then I thought it was because he was afraid for my safety. We argued a lot, about the way things used to be, how they had changed. He hated me talking about the pack and he hated how I was still embracing my wolf, so long after everyone else," He ran a worried hand through his hair. "My disappearances became longer and longer until I just never came back. When Bella found me again, she told him. He called a few times, in the first weeks, to ask about me. But if he still keeps tabs, Bella hasn't told me."

He sighed deeply and Edward could see more than just the anger of his father's nagging, there was also jealously. Edward saw memories of a Billy Black sleeping through the night, uninterrupted by nightmares, while Jacob had to sleep as a wolf in order to dampen his turmoil of emotions. There was the jealously that the father could so easily forget and move on while Jacob would give anything to let go of the ghosts haunting him. And that, above all, is why Jacob could not return home. He couldn't live with someone who had faced the enemies in their mind and won.

Jacob was trying to curb his thoughts, perhaps uncomfortable that Edward felt the need to ask no further questions because of the potent memories that were dredging up were enough information. "So, tell me about your family. Are they angry you haven't returned home?"

Edward let the memories of Billy Black fade away. "Angry? Not really. They understand why I'm here," _Perhaps more than I do_.

"Do you miss them?" Edward had a feeling Jacob wouldn't have asked a question like that if he hadn't just been emotionally stripped.

The vampire smiled morosely, remembering Carlisle's voice over the phone. "Of course I do. But the convenience of being immortal is that you can be apart for many years and come back together to find nothing has changed. This is not the first time our family has been separated, though this has certainly been the longest," It was not unusual for Alice and Jasper or Rosalie and Emmett to break off for up to three years at a time. Only occasionally did Edward drift off for a year or so before coming back.

"You would think that you would go back to them immediately instead of coming here," Jacob commented.

Edward smirked. "You admitted to only returning to society because Bella found you. Perhaps there is an allure about her that we put her before our families."

The wolf shrugged. "Maybe," But his mind was distracted by the question unanswered.

Sighing, Edward gave in. "Alice's powers of seeing the future are guided by people's actions and decisions. Yet she often tells me that the future is a great presence in our lives. She's often distracted in her visions by people making seemingly random decisions, but for their greater benefit in the future. She often wonders if the future is really so flexible by the whim of a person's choice, or if the influence is reversed."

Jacob frowned. "Bella said you didn't believe in fate."

Edward found it strange that Bella would mention that to Jacob, but perhaps he underestimated their friendship. "It is a theory of Alice's, not mine."

"Then why bring it up?"

Edward closed his eyes, mimicking Bella's posture when a headache struck her. "Because I don't know why I came here. I don't know why I'm still here. And I don't know why I'll leave so very soon."


	7. My Immortal

Synchronous Rotation: Always Facing

Chapter 6

My Immortal, Evanescence, Edward/Bella (For Stephanie Meyer)

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

* * *

><p>The night passed very slowly for Edward. With Jacob drifting in and out of sleep, he could no longer busy himself downstairs. But after reorganizing his expansive music collection seven different ways, he finally gave into the urge to hunt.<p>

In retrospect, it was the perfect way to pass the time, as it would take Edward hours of stalking and eating to ensure a full stomach. But he knew he could lose himself for those hours and perhaps lose precious time. To compensate, he kept his cell phone with him, which he usually left behind for its own safety. As it was, the only consequence of the excursion was a slightly bloodstained phone and no calls.

It was still early morning when he returned to his home to find Jacob's scent was different. He frowned at the more animalistic smell and wasn't surprised to find a giant wolf now sleeping in the middle of the living room. Jacob was still very much asleep and his dreams were less than pleasant. Edward had seen Jacob sleeping before, but he had yet seen him during such a nightmare.

He listened in for a minute, remembering their conversation from last night. Jacob must have phased, perhaps unconsciously, once the nightmare started in order to save himself some emotional trauma that he would otherwise feel as a human. Edward couldn't hear how Jacob was feeling, but his heart rate was down, even as his muscles were tense. And as it was a nightmare of the memory of his battle with the vampires, he was maintaining himself rather well.

Shrugging, Edward walked over to his piano. He wondered if it would be rude to play and wake the sleeping wolf, or perhaps it would be a favor. It reminded him of the many nights he spent with Bella as she slept. It was very hard for him at first to maintain silence and stillness so she could rest easily. His body could stand to not move for hours, but his mind needed activity. Sometimes he read, but most of the time he contented himself with just inhaling her intoxicating scent.

Well, he couldn't do that with Jacob, certainly when he was currently residing in his wolf form. Edward would much rather sniff a mountain lion than the wolf lying in his living room.

His cell phone broke the silence and Jacob lurched to his feet, only to collapse on one leg. Edward eyed the injured shoulder that was probably broken again from the stress of shifting. But he pushed that aside to answer his phone.

"Bella?" He had to force his voice to a proper volume, his throat was so tight.

She took a moment to answer, breathing quietly. "I have to talk to you."

He closed his eyes, concentrating on not crushing his phone. "I'll be right over."

"No!" She breathed in deeply. "Sorry, but I'd rather not disturb anyone else. Can we meet at your house?"

Edward wondered why she sounded so hesitant, but then he remembered that he hadn't informed her that he was living there again. "Yes, I'm here now," He paused, "and so is Jacob."

Somehow he could tell that her silence was a shocked one. "Jacob? Really?" Her voice suddenly sounded stronger and there was a muffled sound. Edward frowned, wondering if she was laughing.

"It is nothing of consequence," He wondered if she could understand him, his teeth were clenched. "I was just wondering if you would like me to send him away."

"Oh, no. It's fine that he's there. More than fine really," Her voice was lighter now and Edward realized how tense she sounded before. "I'll be right over."

They hung up and Edward looked over to the giant wolf trying to remain standing. He was still very groggy and not putting any weight on his bad leg. _'Bella is coming?'_

The vampire nodded, eyeing his leg. "Is your shoulder re-broken?"

Jacob flinched, as if remembering that it hurt. _'Maybe, or I just pulled it.' _He clumsily lay himself back on the floor, making the couch and television shudder.

Edward approached. "May I look at it? I wouldn't want Bella to think I've been breaking your bones."

Jacob tiredly lay his head down. _'You _have_ been breaking my bones.'_

"Bone."

_'Same difference.' _He yawn, then whined at the pain.

Edward kneeled down. "I'm assuming you can't shift back, though I would rather look at a human shoulder than a dog's."

_'I don't think I can manage. I don't think it's broken again anyway.'_

Edward rolled his eyes. "We will see," He reached out tentatively, just realizing that this was the first time he had ever willingly touched a werewolf. Jacob's fur was coarse, but much softer near his skin. His body felt like it was radiating heat and Edward had never before felt how numbingly cold his hands were.

It took a moment to locate the proper bone in the shoulder, Edward had never been to veterinary school. Jacob growled as he touched the sensitive spot, but stayed relatively still. Edward felt carefully around the area, somewhat impressed that the wolf did little than growl and snap at the air. He had read Jacob's mind before as a wolf, but tired and injured, the wolf's instincts were flaring beyond control. Edward knew it was only through the great practice of being a wolf for long periods of time could Jacob keep himself from ripping Edward's arm off.

"It doesn't seem broken to me," He finally assessed, running his hand away from the injury and down the leg. "Though I can't tell for sure. I would recommend not shifting at least until tomorrow."

Jacob sighed, relieved that the examination was done. His eyes were dropping again, exhausted from a long night and a painful morning. _'Looking for something?'_

Edward realized he was still running his hand through Jacob's fur, feeling the muscles slowly relax. "I've got an injured, exhausted wolf in my living room, why wouldn't I take the opportunity?"

_'To pet me?'_ Jacob's mind was becoming a bit blurry at the edges. He rolled over to put less pressure on his leg. It also gave Edward a small expanse of stomach to run his hand through.

It was softer there and much warmer. He could feel Jacob's heart beat slowing down until he would eventually fall asleep. He noticed that running his hand along the stomach, Jacob would emit a sound not unlike a purr of a cat. Edward wondered if he had any control over it "No, just examining my enemy," He commented lightly.

Jacob huffed, like he was chuckling. _'Sure, sure' _He was rapidly loosing consciousness.

"You know Bella is coming over, don't you want to be awake for her?"

_'Hmmm, I know,' _He sighed, lying more comfortably and slightly closer to Edward. _'But she wants to talk to you. She'll wake me if she wants me.'_

He was gone and Edward wondered about this strange, brief interaction or why his hand was still buried in the soft fur of Jacob's throat. He was becoming disturbingly comfortable with this wolf. If it was thirteen years ago, he would have never tolerated a wolf in Bella's presence, nonetheless his own. Even without wolves in La Push, he avoided their boundaries to ensure he would never meet one.

If he had never left, would he have even let Jacob talk to him? Unlikely, with Bella to protect, he would take no risks around the volatile creatures. Even now he would be very wary around any werewolf besides for Jacob.

"Besides for Jacob," Edward murmured to himself. He gave a small smile as Jacob's mind unconsciously repeated the words, still not in a full sleep. Giving an experimental scratch around Jacob's chin, he felt the massive throat give a soft grunt of pleasure. Edward wondered if Jacob would tolerate this if he was more conscious. It alarmed Edward to think that he probably would.

It was seconds too late that Edward picked up Bella's scent. The wolf's smell was so overpowering, that he completely missed it until she was nearly through the front door. He straightened up quickly, but she had already spotted him from the entry.

"Morning, Edward," She murmured, giving him an unfamiliar smile. It took him a moment to connect it with the way she looked at her daughter. A soft, warm smile. She had never quite looked at him that way before.

He walked to her. "He injured his shoulder in the night. I tended to it so he wouldn't phase back."

She nodded, still smiling. "I'm glad you're helping him," She put a hand on his arm, "Can we go for a walk?" She kept looking to Jacob, obviously not wanting to disturb him.

Edward led her outside to a family path they used to walk so many years ago. And, for that moment of silence, it felt like Edward had never left. Bella wrapped her arm around his and he kept her steady from the uneven ground. He even softly kissed the top of her head and she leaned into him, putting her head on his shoulder.

Despite the familiar embrace, it made Edward's chest ache. He wasn't sure if it was because he knew that is wasn't the same as thirteen years ago, that so many things had changed between them. Or if it was the strange comparison happening in his mind of how Jacob's body was so much warmer than hers.

The house was out of sight before Bella began to speak. "I've been keeping secrets Edward," Her hand tightened on his arm, but her voice was level.

"You've always kept secrets from me," He replied.

She looked up at him, frowning. "I'm sorry-"

He put a finger to her lips, feeling her warm breath. "Anyone whose mind I can't read deserves to keep some secrets."

She looked like she wanted to smile, but it came out as a wince. "But you won't be happy about this one."

The warnings of his family came back in full force and Edward schooled his expression. "Tell me, Bella, and we will find out."

She bit her lip and stared up into the tree tops. "Yesterday wasn't the first time I've been to the doctor's about my headaches," Edward wanted to interrupt with a hundred questions, but he knew it was best to let her speak. "I've been there several times. But most importantly, I went to get a MRI scan a few days before you came into town," Her hand gripped onto his arm so tightly, it was white. "The results were…not good."

She was close to tears and Edward pulled her close, his mind going into dangerous, panicked thoughts. He needed her to keep speaking, but her face was muffled in his shirt and she was slowly creating a damp spot from tears. It took the small eternity of thirty seconds for her to finally lift her head.

"It's a tumor, Edward. They wanted to remove it, but I was so afraid," Edward tried to wipe away the tears pouring down her face, but he couldn't seem to keep up. "They aren't sure how big it is, if it has spread, if it's possible to remove it, or even how long it has been there," She took his hand, simply pressing it to her face. His fingers felt limp and useless. "I didn't know what to do and then you showed up on my doorstep," She gasped, almost choking. "I was…so happy to see you, Edward. So _happy_. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to think about…brain surgery," She looked up at him, her eyes too wet to really focus. "Is that bad?"

He wanted to run a hand through her hair. He wanted to kiss her just like her used to. But she was still holding his hand and he couldn't really feel it. "No, my beautiful Bella, I understand," He didn't know how his voice came out calm. "Can you tell me what you did at the doctor's yesterday?"

His calm voice was working on her and she took a couple of deep breathes. "It was being with you this past week that made me rethink everything. I've seen you so happy and happy for me, I knew I couldn't run from this any longer. I just went to talk about the…options again."

She fell silent again, her eyes moving past his right shoulder. He so desperately wanted to put his hand on her face, but he couldn't seem to lift it. "And?"

Her voice was far away. "I've scheduled a surgery in three days in Port Angeles. He…" She swallowed thickly, "the doctor assured me that this kind of…thing happens all the time. The surgery is common and mostly successful," She began to shake, her eyes still not meeting his. "I'm going to have brain surgery in three days, Edward. I'm going away from home and I'm…so _afraid_."

His limbs came back to life at her shuddering and he pulled her into his arms again. He held her so tightly, she probably couldn't breathe. But Bella wrapped her arms around him and held on with as much strength as she could. Edward closed his eyes, inhaling her scent. He could never forget it, he would never forget it.

"I'll be there for you," He whispered over and over. "I'll be there for you, even if they try to kick me out. I'll be there for you and I'll be the one to bring you home."

Edward was afraid, more than afraid. His family had warned him of something terrible, this was certainly it. But he knew they wouldn't have been so worried if this turned out to be a false alarm, or if she made a complete recovery. Edward was afraid, because he knew that Bella's fears were about to come true.

The thought drained his strength and he loosened his hold on her. Bella looked up at him, her eyes searching his for conviction, for strength. He knew she didn't find it. "Alice," She whispered.

He didn't understand. "What?"

It felt awful for her to back up a step and suddenly she whirled around. "Alice knows something!" Her voice was louder and desperate.

He took a step forward, but she flinched at the sound. "Bella-?"

"Don't!" She gasped. "Don't look at me or talk to me!" She pressed her hands against her face and Edward could smell the renewed tears. "I can't know how this will turn out. I _can't_. And you _know_."

He pursed his lips. "I don't know-!"

"_Please_, Edward," Her voice was rapidly loosing strength, "You do know something and I can't stand to see _anything_ in your eyes. Just…leave me alone," Her hands dropped, as if she couldn't hold them up any longer. "I need to go home. Don't find me, Edward. _Please_ don't find me."

She was walking away and Edward wanted to take her and shake her until she understood that he didn't really understand. But he remained still, because he did know something. He knew he would only stay for fifteen days. Only two more weeks.

Edward had to stop himself from think about the ever dwindling list of outcomes of Bella's surgery. A large pine tree took the effort and it was only after he carefully shredded the fifty foot tree from root to tip did he trust himself enough to think again.

He had to leave. He had to leave now. There was no way he could sit around his house for three days without going completely insane. Or thinking of horrible conclusions from this surgery. He would find the one he feared the most and he would have to kill himself to rid the thought.

Edward was walking, and then running. He was sprinting through the trees, going away and away. Not to North Dakota, perhaps not even as far as the Canadian border. But he needed t leave Forks, he needed to loose himself for a time.

A large, russet wolf tackled him from the side. Edward growled, wrapped his arms around the fleshy neck, ready to twist the head off. But he couldn't do it, he could hear Jacob's panicked thoughts.

_'Edward! Don't! Please listen to me!'_

The vampire didn't loosen his hold, but felt his head collapse into the soft fur. The blood pumped quickly next to his ear. "I can't be here…I need to go," He whispered.

_'You said fifteen days, didn't you?' _The voice was desperate.

Edward managed to relax slightly. "Yes, I did. I'm not leaving, I will be back in three days."

Jacob's mind was a flurry of thoughts and images. Bella had just told him the news as well and he hadn't the time to take it in like Edward. The horrible news and the sprint to catch Edward before the border was enough to suddenly crush the wolf and Edward found himself holding a shivering, naked human.

Jacob fell to his knees, clutching his injured shoulder. It was probably re-broken from the run. But only his unconscious seemed to noticed, his eyes were broken, staring at Edward. "_Why _are you going?"

Edward still had his arms around Jacob's shoulders, unable to let go yet. "My family warned me."

"But you said they weren't specific! What if you are overreacting!" Jacob was sounding more hysterical and Edward found himself running a hand through the other man's hair, as he had wanted to do with Bella. The gesture calmed both of them.

"Pray that I am, but I still can't be here for three days. I will return and nothing will be in my control," He didn't feel like he was even there. He felt like he was dreaming and drifting away.

He could tell Jacob wanted to grab his arm and keep him there. But Jacob was injured and drained. "You said you wouldn't forsake me," He pleaded.

Edward remembered his words from so many days ago. He let his hand slide down to Jacob's chest, feeling the strong heart beneath his palm. "Your heart still beats," He said by way of explanation. "And your blood will continue to flow until I return."

Jacob leaned forward, pressing Edward's hand more firmly against his chest. But that was not his intention, as the vampire read his thoughts. Later Edward would wonder why he didn't move away, as Jacob leaned forward to kiss him.

It was as soft as the smile Bella gave to him that morning, and that thought alone made Edward remain still until Jacob pulled away. The man's breaths were hot on his face and his scent was something Edward could have never figured out. "I have considered you, Edward Cullen. And if you can think of nothing else for three days, consider me."

Then Edward left, the strange scent of Jacob Black still on his lips.


	8. Morning in May

Synchronous Rotation: Always Facing

Chapter 7

Morning in May, Ludo, Edward/Bella

_I'm terrified to think you might be real_

* * *

><p>"Four <em>hours<em>?" A whimper, she had asked the question twelve times already.

"You won't even notice. You'll just go to sleep and wake up a moment later."

"Will I dream?"

"I don't think so."

"Will it hurt?"

"They are very good, I'm sure you'll be in a little pain as possible."

"But…four hours?"

Mike smiled grimly and squeezed Bella's hand. "I'll be right there when you wake up."

Bella frowned. "What about Alice?"

"She will be there too."

Bella turned her head away, wincing with the feel of the pillow case against her bare skin. "They are going to cut into my head," She whispered.

Mike stroked her forehead, a habit for when she had hair. "You won't feel it or even see it."

She looked to the doorway, suddenly a little desperate. She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. "Can you leave now?"

Mike looked shocked and a little hurt. "Why? Do you need something?"

She shook her head, her eyes pleading. "No, I just need some time to myself. I've only got a few more minutes, right?" She finally squeezed his hand. "I might start crying and I don't want you to see that."

Her husband stroked her forehead again and kissed it, like he relished in the touch. She visibly calmed more. "If that's what you want. I love you."

She smiled. "I love you too."

Mike slowly left the room, worried, but obviously trying to put up a strong front. Edward wished her could put a hand on his shoulder as he passed by. He wanted to apologize for having any less than the utmost faith Mike would be a good husband and father. But the man passed him without even noticing. Edward slipped into the room.

Bella may have noticed Edward lurking in the doorway and so lied to get Mike out of the room. But she did look close to tears. "Edward," She whispered and raised her hand.

He took it. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to see me."

Her eyes were wet as she shook her head. "I _need_ to see you. Especially before I go in there," She looked at him pleadingly. "Can you stay nearby? I mean, enough to see me and make sure everything is fine?"

He held her hand with strong fingers. "I promise to not let you out of my sight," It would take some effort, but nothing too difficult for a mind reading vampire to handle.

She sighed and looked around the room. "You know, every time I'm in a hospital, I half expect Carlisle to come around the curtain," She turned her gaze back to Edward. "I wish he was doing the surgery."

Edward smiled. "As talented as he is, Carlisle is not a brain surgeon. But don't worry, I had him check out your doctors, he has great faith in them."

Bella gave half a laugh, the most out of the morning. "Really?"

He nodded. "And I looked up what nurses will also be in the room. Everyone is very qualified," He paused. "Or I made sure they were."

That earned him a stronger laugh and it lifted a tiny portion of the incredible weight on his chest. "Edward, how could I ever thank you?"

He lightly traced her eyebrows. "You have nothing to thank me for. Besides, it will be worth it to see you wake up healthy and happy."

"Well then, I'll try my best to be happy."

* * *

><p>It was eight hours before they began to put her back together. And another two before they let her family go see her. But she wasn't awake. They didn't know when she would wake.<p>

Edward held his head between his knees, futilely trying to block out the noise and smells from the hospital. Old blood, diseased blood, fresh blood, it was making him nauseous. He had fed well the day before, but it only made it worse. It was like eating a feast then having to sit in front of another rotten one.

Or his stomach was in knots from stress. He wanted to go sit with Bella, but he didn't want to be seen by her family. He would wait until after hours, it would be simple to sneak in.

Somehow his three days passed infinitely slowly and incredibly fast. One second he was dying from suspense, the next he wished to have a few more hours back. A few more hours with her.

"She will wake up," He whispered, a mantra to himself. "She will wake up and feel fine and pleasant and the same as before. She will wake up."

The scent changed and there was a warmth beside him. He looked sideways to see Jacob settling himself in the chair beside him. He looked unkempt, his shirt wrinkles and hair tangled. Mindlessly he braided it and unbraided it over his shoulder. "They'll leave soon, visiting hours are ending. Mike and Charlie want to stay in her room for the night, but they have to think about Alice."

His voice was hoarse and Edward wondered if he had been screaming or completely silent. "A hotel."

Jacob nodded, still looking straight ahead. "I will stay here."

"In the waiting room?"

Another nod. "If I have to," He swallowed before turning his head to Edward. He was too afraid to look him in the eyes. "You will go into her room, won't you," It wasn't a question, so Edward nodded.

"You want me to bring you as well."

"I want to see her before-"

"Before she wakes up," Edward cut in, putting his head back between his knees.

Jacob hesitated for a moment. "Some of us are too afraid to say that. Some of us don't know enough," It was a leading sentence and Edward decided to give in a little.

"I was in the operating room," He pursed his lips and closed his eyes again. "It was…much worse than they thought. So much…" He sighed, "so much _more_ than they thought. Time consuming, not to mention Bella's body kept throwing in other complications. She never came close to…well, she never came close, but it _felt_ close."

There was a warm hand on the back of his neck. "I'm glad you were there. And I'm sure _she _was glad you were there."

Edward gave Jacob another glance. "I hope so, she requested it of me."

Jacob didn't know that. "Really?" _'So perhaps she had planned…?'_

The werewolf tried to cut off the thought, but Edward could still see it. He was surprised that he hadn't thought of it before. "I don't…know about that."

Jacob bit his lip. "Then now perhaps is the best time to ask her."

"Do you really want me to?"

The werewolf looked away, his hand back to his hair. "Maybe thirteen years ago, no. But I've learned how to value life since then, no matter the circumstance."

* * *

><p>It was quiet and still, Bella barely seemed to breathe under the sheets. Jacob immediately knelt by her bedside, resting his chin on the mattress like a dog to his master. But as Edward locked the door, he couldn't bring himself to tease the man. Perhaps it's because he wished he could look so weak. He wished he could fall to his knees and put his head in her lap. But that was never the case between him and Bella. She was always weaker, fragile. He held her head as she cried or slept, never the other way.<p>

Jacob was whispering to her, but Edward didn't want to listen. Instead he picked up her chart, glancing through it half a dozen times. And then once more. He wanted the words to change, the diagnosis to suddenly rearrange itself.

"Is it bad?" Jacob had turned to him, his head now resting on his arms, as if he were getting ready to fall asleep.

Edward shook his head. It wasn't bad, but nothing had changed in the past few hours. For once in his life, he wanted something to change. "They are doing their best."

Jacob frowned, seeing through Edward's blind comfort. "Why doesn't she wake?"

"She will."

_'I am.'_

The voice was soft and blurred and Edward dropped her chart between limp fingers. Jacob was immediately on his feet, wondering at the vampires reaction. "What-?"

Edward held up a hand, staring as the sheets continued to rise and fall with weak breathes. "Bella?" He whispered, barely loud enough for human hearing.

_'Edward.'_

Her voice, the voice of her mind was younger than her body. It was bright and weightless, it was the sound Edward remembered from thirteen years ago. His eyes burned, he wished he could weep, but vampires had no tears. Instead he walked to her bedside, wishing to embrace her, but afraid of breaking her delicate body.

"Bella, my Bella," He whispered, his hands clenched in the bed sheets.

_'My Edward. I'm so tired.'_

"Don't strain yourself," He closed his eyes, seeing her as seventeen with long brown hair. "Just relax."

_'I can't seem to open my eyes. I'm so tired.'_

"That's alright. I can hear you."

Jacob was at his side, bracing himself against the side table. "Bella? Is she awake? Can you…?"

"She is and…yes," He tore himself away from the vision in his mind and looked at the werewolf. He didn't know what to say, he felt like his insides were building up then crumbling down like glass houses.

"How?"

Edward looked to her body, white under white sheets. A thick bandage around her head and suddenly he felt a little sick. "Can it really be?"

Jacob leaned forward, pressing his shoulder against Edward's back. "The surgery…the tumor?"

Edward landed on his knees, cracking the tiled floor. It was an awful thing, the idea that a hideous tumor is what kept Edward from reading her mind. An awful thing that so many years ago it was there, trying to tear them apart as it was doing now.

_'Jacob? Is Jacob there?'_

"Yes," Edward gasped, forcing himself to breathe enough to speak.

_'Can I talk to him?'_

Edward desperately wished she would wake, open her eyes or do anything besides for her shallow breathing. _Why does her mind sound so much stronger than her body?_ "I will have to speak for you."

_'That's okay. Can you tell Jacob to take my hand? I want to feel him.'_

Her control over her thoughts was tentative, obviously from lack of experience. She was pouring all of her concentration in keeping coherent that she could barely think of little else. Edward looked at Jacob, barely seeing him. "Take her hand, she wants to speak to you."

The werewolf nodded mutely and went to the other side of the bed. His touch was warm and strong, but Bella could barely feel it.

_'Thank you. Thank you for this Edward.'_

"No need for thanks," He whispered, wanting to take her other hand, but it was covered in tubes and needles. It frightened him.

_'Jacob? I'm so sorry about this Jake, but I need to tell you something.'_

Edward parroted her words and Jacob's eyes never left her still face. "Don't apologize," He whimpered.

_'I want you to go home, Jake, to your father. I want you to talk to him, okay?'_

Jacob swallowed thickly. "Why are you telling me this?"

_'Because I know you haven't spoken to him for about ten years now. It's about time you tried again,' _She paused, but Jacob couldn't speak. _'Please, promise me that you will try.'_

The shifter pressed her numb hand against his forehead. "Will you come with me?" He whispered.

_'Jacob, I'm so tired. I don't know if I have…the strength.'_

"But you'll get better, right?"

_'Maybe, but I don't want you leaning on me any longer. I'm not as strong as you. You must talk to him on your own. Now go, before it gets dark.'_

He didn't lift his head. "It's already dark, Bella."

_'Oh…then before morning. I just need you to do this.'_

"I don't want to leave you."

_'I'm not going anywhere.'_

Jacob looked up at her face and Edward saw that his mind was imagining her the same way he was; young and beautiful again. "Promise?"

_'Promise. But please leave, I also need to speak with Edward alone.'_

After Edward had finished her words Jacob stood up slowly. He gave Edward a piercing look, as if he wanted to say something or do something. But instead he quietly exited the room and locked the door behind him.

"You were quick to send him away," Edward murmured.

_'He was so nervous and frightened, it was scaring me.'_

He tried to smile, it wasn't quite coming yet. "I'm glad you're not scared."

_'I'm almost surprised at how calm I am right now. Or that I can speak to you at all. I guess I have little else to distract me.'_

"You'll get better, in time. Jacob is as coherent in thought as in speech, no matter the situation."

_'He's had a lot of experience. I could never hope to have his control. And you should tell him that some time, I'm sure he would like that.'_

Edward didn't know what to say to that, so he let it drop. "How are you feeling? Can you open you're eyes? Or move at all?"

A long pause and Edward counted her heart beast, soft but steady. _'Perhaps…but I don't know if I want to. My mind feels so separated from my body, like I'm on the edge of sleep. One lapse and I'll be gone.'_

He hated the way she said that. "So no pain then?"

_'Distant.'_

"That's good," He exhaled. If she was suffering, he would rather her go back into the unconscious."It will only get better."

_'Edward, I…I'm not sure I will be getting better.'_

"Don't say that, Bella," It made him want to crush something. The sheets knotted in his fists were tearing from the effort.

_'It's just a…feeling, I guess. I can't explain Edward. Not today, maybe not tomorrow. But I have a feeling that I won't be able to speak to my family again.'_

"You're just scared from the surgery. It was complicated, but you came out fine."

_'But I'm not scared. That's why I need to talk to you.'_

He didn't want to hear this, but he would never stop it. "Bella, I'll be right here. I won't let you go."

Her breathing halted for a single moment, before resuming it's regular pace. She did not speak, but Edward saw what she was thinking of. _'I can't…I don't…'_

For the first time, Edward leaned forward and traced her eyebrows. "I can't lose you again. I can make sure you _will_ live."

Her mind was struggling to form coherent words, everything was a whirlwind. He didn't even try to make sense of it, but let her think it all through.

'_Edward…did you know that when you first came back and I opened the door to find you on my doorstep after thirteen years, I fell in love with you all over again.' _

He wished he could smile. "I did too."

'_If, at that very moment, you asked me to follow you for eternity, I would have done it. I would have left my husband, father, and daughter without a second thought.'_

"I doubt that."

'_No, it's true. If you could have read my mind then, you would know it's true. And I have a feeling that even afterwards, I wouldn't have even cared that I abandoned them. Because I would have you again. You were all I always ever wanted. Even when I accepted Mike's proposal, I thought of you. When I met him at the alter, I thought of you. The first time I felt Alice in my arms, I thought of you. I never fell out of love with you, Edward, I just learned to push it aside and make room for others.'_

It was a long train of thought, but it was so clear. Edward knew she had been thinking about it for a long time. "You don't have to worry about me leaving you again," He repeated. "I promise you."

'_I can't have you do that.'_

"What?"

'_I can't have you keep me, Edward. I can't become a vampire. I refuse.'_

The bed sheet tore, loud in the silent room. "But Bella-?"

'_No, please listen while my mind feels so calm. I may love you, but I'm no longer seventeen. For so many years now, I've learned how to not think of only myself, my wants and pleasures. I've learned how to think of others.'_

The image was clear in her mind and Edward forced himself to relax his grip. "Alice," He whispered, the small girl suddenly having a presence in the room.

'_Yes, my daughter. I've given it a lot of thought ever since she was born. I know now that I can't let her know of your world. I won't do that to her. And if you can't promise me anything else, promise me that you won't whisper the name vampire to her, or werewolf.'_

He thought of the photograph she had of him. Or that fact that she had known Jacob for six years now when he has never aged. She was still ignorant, but it wouldn't be long before she began to ask questions. "I may hide her from myself, but Jacob will be another matter."

'_There is more I must beg of you, Edward. So much more.'_

"Please stop talking like this, Bella. You will become well and I will leave. You need not ask of more," It was making sense in his mind. The warnings of Alice and Carlisle were nothing more than this horrific stress of four days. He would be gone in a few days because Bella requested it, nothing more.

'_No, I need to say this all, because I know I am fragile and I am becoming weaker all the time. Please listen and don't convince me to stop.'_

He lightly touched her temple. "I'm listening," His words tasted like lead.

'_You must take Jacob with you. This is a lot to ask, but I know it will be for the best, for everyone. Tell him everything I say to you now and make sure he reconciles with his dad. But he will need you and I know you will need him.'_

"I…I cannot make any promises. Things between us are complicated," He bit his words, unwilling to say more.

'_I cannot force you to do anything. But consider, please consider.'_

He hated the way those words echoed Jacob's. "Why do you not want Alice to know of vampires or werewolves?" For any other person, he could understand. But Bella's life was always so intertwined with the supernatural.

'_You are complicated, Edward. Vampires are complicated. There is danger, yes, but so much allure. I'm in love with you and have been for most of my life. But I can't have you. I do not want this for Alice. For her, I want normality…balance.'_

"You can have me, Bella. That's what I keep telling you," He couldn't understand why she didn't see that.

'_You don't want me, Edward. You want what I was. That is why I refuse for you to turn me, because my heart will be broken in leaving Alice and my heart will be broken when you see that we can't go back to the way things were.'_

He wanted to object. The statements were all wrong, but his throat felt constricted. Instead he stroked her neck, hoping to convey all the emotion her couldn't describe.

'_Edward, my love, I can see things that you cannot imagine. I can see myself with you for an eternity, but in broken pieces that could never touch you. I would rather die.'_

He closed his eyes, now hating the image of the teenaged Bella her voice brought. Then Alice's words, from a short eternity ago, came ringing back in his mind. _Bella has…aged, Edward. She has seen and experienced things that have changed her. No human is the same when they are seventeen or thirty or whatever. We are both victims of the teenage experience, we can't escape it_. "You're right," He whispered. "I can't imagine it."

'_Edward, why did you leave me?'_

For such a simple question, he could see how hard it was for her to voice. He did not ask for clarification, he knew what she meant. "I can't…I can't really remember anymore," He hated to say it, it sounded like such a lie.

_'Please, can you try? I need to know.' _She wasn't doubting him, but she knew he was resisting.

He traced he made on her bed sheets. "I suppose it was your eighteenth birthday," He murmured.

_'You mean that incident with Jasper?'_

He grimaced. "It was a little more than a incident, Bella. You could have died."

_'It was only a small cut.'_

His fingernail accidently ripped the sheet further. He closed his eyes, trying to relax. "Yes, in retrospect, it was only a small cut, but it could have been so much worse."

_'But Jasper couldn't even touch me. You protected me.'_

Her teenaged voice matched her words and he could see her young and wide-eyed, still not understanding. "Bella, it was more than just Jasper who wanted to attack you…I did as well."

She was confused, her thoughts a little too incoherent, but he grasped her point.

"I know you think me as your champion, but every day was a struggle. You had such high expectations of me, and I fought hard to meet them."

_'I never intended to pressure you.'_

He sighed deeply, trying to relax. "I know, and that is why I put in so much effort. It felt so good to have you depend on me, believe in me, like I was normal and human. But on that day, I nearly broke like Jasper did. In fact, I think the only reason why I didn't is because he reacted first."

_'But you didn't, Edward. Can't you see how that makes all the difference?'_

The mature Bella was back again and he opened his eyes. Her skin seemed stretched too tightly across her face and she was as pale as him. "I suppose," He whispered.

_'But that didn't matter to you, did it.' _She sounded so old, even with the youthful voice of her mind.

"I could protect you from so many things. Humans, cars, vampires. And it hurt to have to protect you from my own brother. But it was unbearable to think I had to protect you from myself," He remembered feeling like he was being drawn very tightly. As if some incredible force was tuning him like the strings of the piano too sharp. At any moment he could snap and he didn't know how he would react. In the end, it wasn't a violent reaction, it was a cold one.

'_You meant everything you said to me then, right?' _Her voice was heartbroken.

He swallowed, but there was no fluid in his throat. "Yes, but I wasn't myself."

Bella was remembering it now, repeating it carefully in her mind. _'Over the years, I've always wondered. As a teenager, of course I believed you, but as I grew older…well, I began to wonder.'_

"I'm sorry," He whispered, wishing his voice was stronger.

_'It was a long time ago and I was very young and naïve. I understand now that you were trying to protect yourself.'_

"It was for you, Bella. It was awful, but it was for your protection."

He could practically feel her urge to move, to touch him in some way. But her mind was floating a little too far away. _'Maybe a little. But Edward, I know you were hurting. If I had been wiser, I would have understood, your actions were both selfless and selfish.'_

He remembered the photograph hidden in Alice's room. His own face had been a grimace of pain and something close to impatience. He knew he was going to leave and he knew it wasn't going to feel any better. He just wanted his fall to be over with, so he could begin to rebuild himself. He hated to think of how pitiful it was that after so many years, he had made so little progress.

'_Don't be afraid, Edward. It won't hurt as much this time.'_

He pressed his face into the bed, just next to her still hand. He didn't believe her, but he didn't want to argue with her. She was already killing him, just with her words.

* * *

><p>She didn't die that day or the next. But the fever would come before she could properly speak with her family. She did manage to open her eyes to them, with that same soft expression of love and longing. The way she looked at Edward. The way she had always looked at him.<p>

He was there when she died. The room a panic of nurses and doctors trying to bring her fever down. She had a seizure at the end, leaving her body in a flurry of movement. And in that strange space of time, he game a small smile. Bella Swan Newton died the way she lived, tripping over herself to the next adventure.


	9. Just Want You to Know

Synchronous Rotation: Always Facing

Chapter 8

Just Want You to Know, Backstreet Boys, Edward/Bella

_Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end._

* * *

><p>Edward found a small space in the attic of the Swan house, where the roof met the base boards. A forgotten dollhouse and a broken rocking chair hid him completely as he crouched there, writing her name in the dust. The dollhouse had her bright scent, and the chair still held his.<p>

He could hear the voices downstairs; they did not mention him. But they would think about him. A flicker from Charlie, a memory from Alice, and so many of his words echoed in Jacob's mind. Edward wished he could turn off his powers. But in the cramped darkness, he found he could tolerate it all.

Jacob was wondering where he was, he could smell him in the house. But the werewolf couldn't concentrate long enough to distinguish it from all the other scents. He slept in the woods behind their house, his scent changing into a wolf to keep the nightmares tamed. It didn't work and the humans were constantly awoken by mournful howling.

He was discovered during the wake. Charlie came into the attic for extra chairs and found a vampire gathering dust in a corner of the room. "I knew you couldn't be far," His voice sounded exhausted.

Edward wanted to speak, but he hadn't breathed in two days. He couldn't bring himself to do so now, knowing he would just smell her and him and nothing. Charlie rummaged around, finding a couple of folding chairs. He was remembering thirteen years ago, when she was young and Edward was there. The vampire hated to see the memories, they made his chest burn.

"You should come downstairs, Edward," The voice was soft and the vampire looked up to the old man standing in front of him. _'Staying up here will kill you.'_

_ I'm already dead_. But he found himself rising to his feet. He felt almost sickened by how easy it was for his movements to be fluid. Charlie pushed a couple of chairs into his hands. Then, with almost no hesitation, he casually wiped the dust from Edward's hair and shirt.

"She wouldn't like you looking like this," He turned away, as if he couldn't face Edward for the his next words. "I'll never know why she loved you. But I understand why you loved her."

It was the kindest thing the man had ever said to him. And even though he couldn't speak, Edward wished he could thank him.

There were many people spread around their house. Edward glanced into Alice's room, watching her slowly brush the hair of one of her dolls. Her face was pink from crying as she turned to see him at the doorway. They both didn't speak and she didn't move as Edward walked to her floorboards and took the pictures of himself. He nodded to the child, the most he could manage, before leaving the room. The pictures smoldering in his pocket.

Among the crowd, Edward saw Billy Black, but it was very apparent that Jacob was avoiding him still. The old Quileute sat hunched in his chair, looking a little lost. But everyone looked a little lost. Edward left the house.

It had rained only an hour ago and he closed his eyes and inhaled the scent of wet pine. The air flooded his lungs and it felt good to feel his chest expand. _Where will I go now?_ It felt oddly like it was thirteen years ago, when he had ripped her away from himself and wandered south.

He felt light, but it was because he felt empty. He ran his fingertips along the moss covered tree trunks, barely feeling the spongy moisture. _Alice was wrong, I won't be home in a week. _No, he would wander again. Close his eyes and open them to a desert. Inhale deeply and find himself in a jungle. Maybe he would go farther, swim the ocean until the water ran colder than his skin. Maybe he would sink to the bottom and let the pressure crush him until he couldn't remember her.

As it was, he found himself in the meadow they used to frequent. They hadn't visited there this time, but he had a feeling she didn't want to. The flowers were blooming, but were drooping from the recent rain. The clouds were still overhead and Edward wondered if they would clear before nightfall.

"You're like a ghost, you know," Edward didn't turn to the shifter behind him. "I could smell you, almost hear you sometimes," He several meters away. "I know you could hear my thoughts. Why didn't you show yourself?"

The only reason the vampire hadn't heard the werewolf before is because he didn't really care to hear him. Edward closed his eyes and listened Jacob's rapid heartbeat. The man was breathing heavily, but he hadn't exerted himself to follow Edward.

"Why are you upset?" It was a whisper, speaking suddenly felt strange to him.

The werewolf growled. "_Why_? Why aren't you _more_ upset! Why can't you see how upset the rest of us are!" Jacob stepped forward, his footsteps heavy on the soft ground. "You just hole yourself up while the rest of us clean up the pieces! Why didn't you help her father, her daughter, anyone! Why weren't you there! Why didn't you-!" _'Why didn't you save her?'_

He bit the thought so hard, his lip started bleeding. Edward slowly turned to face the furious wolf. He hadn't the strength, the will, to feel anger or injustice. "I couldn't save her." His voice felt dead.

His tone made the shifter's blood boil and Jacob clenched his fists. "Yes, you could! _Why_ didn't you! Didn't you love her!"

The words stung Edward and he felt his lip tighten. "I loved her more than anything."

"No you didn't! You didn't love her at all! You _left _her!" Jacob was screaming, the space closing between them. His skin was blurring and vibrating for the oncoming change. "You broke her, you mindless leech! She couldn't speak or eat!"

Edward's chest burned. "I loved her. I could never hurt her."

"You _killed_ her! You _fucking _killed her, you _damn bloodsucker_!"

He glared at the werewolf, his voice rising to meet his. "I _loved_ her! That's why I left her! That's why I let her die!"

The still night was torn by an explosion and furious growls. Edward found himself launched at by a massive russet wolf, not recognizing the sounds coming from his throat. He couldn't see the man who had become an unlikely friend, a man who he had talked with on many silent nights, or a man that had kissed him just precious days before.

All Edward saw was red blood and fur that needed to be ripped and bones that needed to be broken. But Jacob was no unskilled fighter, he had killed stronger vampires than Edward. The vampire would wrap his arms around the wolf's chest, ready to crush his ribs. But the shifter's teeth sank into the vampire's marble skin and flung him away. They would crash into each other again, the vampire's sharp teeth ripping out chunks of fur and flesh until the wolf could pin him into the ground.

It was several long moments before the vampire realized something very important; the werewolf would not harm him. He would not rip his limbs apart or bit down harder than necessary to remove the vampire from a death grip.

The wolf flung Edward onto the soft meadow, several meters away, and braced for another impact. But Edward lay there in the soft grass and crushed flowers, unmoving.

It took Jacob a moment to come back to himself. '…_Edward?' _He whimpered and trotted up to the motionless vampire. His body was still on edge from the fight, but his mind was anxious. _'Edward?'_

Edward closed his eyes and curled up on himself, wishing he could break an arm or suffer cuts or gashes. He could smell blood on the ground and on Jacob's fur. "Why won't you hurt me?"

'_I can't…I…' _He whined low in his throat, bringing his large nose near Edward's face. He could see the blood dripping. _'You're my imprint, Edward. I could never hurt you.'_

"Then why fight me?" He covered his face with his hands, feeling like a child. But he didn't want to see or smell the blood he tore from Jacob.

The wolf sat down heavily beside him. _'I'm angry, Edward. I don't know why. But I'm so angry.'_

His mind was scattered and jarred. He could barely think straight enough to communicate. "You're not angry, Jacob. You're grieving," Edward whispered into his hands.

He could hear him licking the blood from his nose before gently prodding at his hands. _'Is this how you grieve?'_

Edward ignored the wet nose. "Vampire's cannot cry."

'_You don't need to cry to mourn.'_

"But I need to do something," His voice was breaking, he hadn't breathed in the past few minutes. "I'm…dying, but I can't die. I'm burning, but I'm so cold. I'm floating away but everything keeps _following _ me."

Jacob put his head near Edward's, his hot breath warming his hands. Edward gasped, needing to be able to speak and found Jacob's scent to be warm as well. The bites and scratches mostly healed. He was silent, even his mind a dull buzz. He was exhausted and injured and confused. He didn't know what to say or think.

Edward breathed in his warm scent again. More than warm, it was like fire, a burning. "I wanted to save her," He whispered, but he knew it was loud enough for the werewolf to hear. "I begged to turn her. But she…refused. She refused and said she would rather _die_," He moved his hands slightly to look at Jacob. His large head was so close he barely had to move to slowly run his finger down the coarse nose. "I couldn't then. I couldn't do it. And it hurt more than anything to listen to her heart give out, knowing my venom would make her eyes open again."

'_Why did she refuse?' _

Edward could see the wolf's mind slowly working again. Jacob's instincts told him vampires were bad and certainly making more would be worse. But his humanity loved her and would sacrifice her mortality to keep her safe and alive. He had already sacrificed so much to keep her alive.

"Alice, her family…me," He traced the scars he just inflicted on the wolf, watching as they slowly knit themselves into obscurity. "I think she regrets knowing and loving vampires and werewolves. I think, after so many years of the supernatural, she just wanted the normal," He hesitated. "She wanted her daughter to only have the normal."

Jacob didn't like that thought, but he understood what Edward meant. _'I suspected there would be a time that I would either have to enlighten Alice or leave her,' _His large eye was trained on Edward. _'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. They were wrong.'_

The vampire let his hand drop back to the dirt. "No, you were right. I let her die. I left her and let her die."

Jacob's large body was scooting forward until he wedged two paws under Edward and pinned him to the ground with his large head. Edward lay on his back, feeling Jacob breath on his chest. _'The reason why everything keeps following you is because you refuse to let go.'_

Edward eyes burned, yearning for tears. But it felt better than when he was at her bedside, listening to her last requests. It felt better than when he held her crying in his arms because she was terrified for her life. It felt better than when he walked away from her thirteen years ago and pretended to fall out of love.

Because, somehow, burning under a werewolf felt natural. It wasn't a fire that would turn him to ash, it was a fire to burn away all the old scars and memories. Edward reached up to drag Jacob's head closer, inhaling that burning scent through soft fur.

"I loved her," He whispered to the pulse. "I loved her more than everything. She made sunlight worth risking, nights worth living, and time worth…everything. I loved her, but I don't know if I still do. Or if I just want to. Or if I just…wish to."

'_You love her, Edward. The same as I do; in that special part of our hearts where we have what we wished was real.'_

Edward felt a shadow of a smile and he hoped Jacob could feel it too. "Can you phase back now?"

It sounded better to transform into a human, less ripping and breaking. It was sliding back into a truer form and Jacob's warm skin was suddenly in his arms. Edward shifted the man so he could keep his face pressed against that burning pulse. "You smell better now."

Jacob's pulsed quickened, nervous at the contact, but he didn't move. "What do I smell like?"

Edward paused, waiting for the man to slowly relax. He didn't mind the heavy weight on his chest, he only needed to breathe enough to speak. "You smell like what a person should."

"What's that?"

He grinned, feeling the pulse spike from the touch of his teeth. "Like…normal. You have no idea how normal," He couldn't describe the burning.

"Can I move?" _'I feel like I'm crushing you.'_

Edward sighed, but he knew he should give the wolf a little space, Jacob was naked after all. He loosened his grip so Jacob could twist a little further away. He only went as far as to lie down next to Edward. The vampire decided he didn't mind that either. They were both silent, watching the sky grow dark and the clouds slowly thin.

"Bella," Edward whispered.

"Hm?"

"I just wanted to see if I could say it again."

"Was it hard?"

He licked his lips. "A little, but I couldn't say it before."

"I noticed."

"Did you?"

Jacob's arm twitched next to his, just touching. "I notice."

Edward turned his head to look at the other man. Jacob had his eyes closed and his breathing had slowed down. All the stress of the last couple of days was slowly washing off him and he was drifting into sleep. "You always pass out around me."

A twitch of a smile. "It's because you dazzle me."

It felt strange to smile with Jacob, just two days after Bella died and on the day of her wake. But at the same time, it felt natural. He watched as Jacob's body slowly grow more towards sleep, his mind a steady hum of relaxation.

It was only on the precipice of sleep, while he could still hear but not comprehend, that Edward spoke. "You asked me to consider you, Jacob. And I just wanted to tell you that I haven't. I'm sorry, because both you and Bella asked me to. But I…just can't right now," Jacob's breathing did not stir. "I'm sorry, but I will hurt you again before I leave."

* * *

><p>Edward's phone was ringing, almost constant. Casually, he switched it off. He wondered why Alice would bother, as she would see a future where he would never answer. He looked at the black plastic, wondering if he should crush it or maybe throw it off a cliff, for the irony.<p>

_'I didn't think you would be here.'_

A moment later, a massive wolf walked into the clearing. Edward slid off the rock he was leaning on. "Sleep well?"

_'I hate your mind-reading,' _ And Edward could see why. Jacob was horribly embarrassed that he woke up in the meadow in a panic, wondering where the vampire was and if he had left already. He quickly caught his scent and came running, only calming when the trail didn't lead far.

"I needed some breakfast," Edward shrugged, not really caring whether or not the werewolf was ashamed of his feelings.

_'But why are you here? At the border?'_

"I can't really cross it, can I? And there is another request I need to fulfill."

_'You can cross it,' _Edward raised an eyebrow at the prompt response and Jacob pawed slightly at the earth. _'As my imprint you are allowed wherever I go and to know whatever I know. Besides, I'm the only wolf guarding the borders and even if you weren't my imprinted, I would let you pass.'_

"Really?"

_'Well…yeah, I think so.'_

"Hmm," Edward shrugged again. He was feeling awfully light this morning, almost weightless. Maybe it was because he knew he would be leaving before nightfall and be far away from here by dark. And once this task was done, then he could most certainly leave on a clear conscience. "Well, we best get started," And, for the first time, Edward crossed the invisible line into werewolf territory.

_'What are we doing?' _The wolf trotted beside him.

Edward wished it would have been more climatic, being in enemy territory. All he got was Jacob making friendly conversation. "Bella requested something of you and asked me to follow it up. I'm assuming you know what I'm talking about."

Jacob stopped, whining in discomfort. But Edward continued forward, knowing the wolf would keep following. _'You really don't have to…I can do this…Edward, please, just give me some time.'_

"You've had ten years."

The large nose pushed his shoulder, sending warm breath down his back. _'It's complicated. I haven't thought this out yet. It might turn out awful.'_

Edward looked over his shoulder. "It's already awful. And I know, you've shown me."

_'I know,' _His voice was meek and let himself be silent for a short moment. _'I don't have any clothes.'_

"I noticed, but I'm sure your father has seen you naked before."

Jacob growled softly, putting his chin on Edward's shoulder. _'What a wonderful reunion. He walks out the front door to his estranged, naked son. What could I say?'_

Edward placed a hand on the other side of his nose, rubbing the bridge absently. "Ask for some clothes. That would be appropriate."

He huffed, which Edward realized was a laugh. _'Yes, a great talking point there.'_

"Now that's a good attitude."

_'Are you my mother?'_

Edward looked at the large eye near his face, wondering why his hand was still stroking the nose. "No, I'm your imprint and we've arrived"

Jacob's heart rate had increased, but Edward didn't know if it was from his words for from the impending confrontation. The wolf looked to the trees up ahead, seeing the small house just beyond. _'Are you coming with me?'_

"No, I doubt Billy Black would appreciate a vampire in his house. Besides, it won't help for me to be there."

Jacob shuffled, hesitating. _'I guess so.'_

"Are you going to change?"

The werewolf was nervous, but embarrassed. _'Are you going to look?'_

Edward rolled his eyes. "I saw you naked last night, you realize."

Jacob wouldn't meet his eye. _'But I had other things on my mind.'_

Edward shrugged. "I guess I did too. But it doesn't matter because I'm going to stand here until you step inside that house."

Jacob paced slightly, reminding Edward of a dog trying to lie down. He wanted to shake the wolf, but he knew it would do no good to force him. Jacob had to change and Jacob had to walk to his father.

There was a slight tremor as the wolf became a human, like his anxiousness translated into the phasing. Jacob leaning against a tree, trying to casually cover himself. Edward glanced lazily towards the house. "It smells like he's home."

Jacob stepped towards him, looking at his old house. "Yeah, I guess," He bit his lip, looking at Edward. "Will you be here?"

The vampire carefully chose his words. "I will make sure Bella's wish is fulfilled."

Jacob was forgetting his embarrassment and put a hand on Edward's shoulder. "Is it just because of Bella?" _'What about me? What about you?'_

Edward gazed back to him, steady and sure. "I need you to do this too."

Jacob nodded, licking his lips. He could tell the wolf wanted to embrace him in some way, for comfort and reassurance. Edward couldn't let him. He placed a hand on his back and pushed him forward. "No time like the present."

Jacob, for his part, didn't even look back. "No time at all," He muttered and resolutely walked towards the front door.

When he had cleared the trees, Edward climbed up into the branches so he could be closer without being detected. Billy Black opened the door, thrown off by the sight of his naked son. Though Edward could tell it was mostly the sight of his son, with or without clothes, that left him speechless.

Jacob invited himself in, pretending to be confidant, but Edward could see Black wasn't fooled. He crouched in the tree for a few more minutes, listening to the disjointed conversation. It wasn't a perfect reunion and it would take much more time and many more conversations for their relationship to resemble a father and son. But it was a start and Edward thought it was a rather good one.

He could almost imagine Bella, sitting in the tree next to him, nodding her approval and whispering words of encouragement. The image reminded him that time was going to turn against him and against Jacob. Edward nimbly left the trees and was running as his hit the forest floor.

He knew it would be only a matter of time before Jacob would catch up with his scent, but it was Edward's hope that the werewolf would lose the will first. He wasn't good with farewells and he knew that Jacob would not approve of this one. But there was little he could do.

He had considered Jacob Black, somewhere between twilight and dawn, and his answer lay in his running legs. "It is not my imprint," He whispered to the wind.

And he ignored Bella's disappointed face.


	10. Anywhere But Here

Synchronous Rotation: Always Facing

Chapter 9

Anywhere But Here, Hilary Duff, Edward/Bella

_I'm falling through the door, flying across the floor. When you look at me suddenly it's clear. You're burning up my dreams. Crazy as it seems, I don't want to be anywhere but here._

* * *

><p>Edward was in Wyoming when he noticed something was very strange. He stopped his near constant sprint in order to listen. It was just past midnight, so he had little fear of being seen by any wayward humans. Not that he encountered many in the past two days. He was looking forward to more of the open plains and desert that would mean little more than tumble weeds and sage brush for company.<p>

It was like a whisper and Edward stood very still, trying to hear it. It wasn't _like _a whisper, it _was_ a whisper. A thought from very far away just reaching his mind. Edward closed his eyes and stopped breathing to concentrate.

_'…run…where…can't…but…'_

His powers must be picking it up from several miles away, making most, if not all words indistinguishable. Naturally, his abilities would not be able to pick up it at all. But it wasn't uncommon for his powers to become accustomed to thoughts of familiar people. And Edward was very accustomed to the voice of Jacob's mind.

Hearing his thoughts wasn't what unnerved Edward, it was that he only started hearing them after two days and they were well north of his location, somewhere in northern Wyoming. The vampire had assumed that if Jacob was going to catch up with him, it would have been immediately, otherwise the effort would be too much for the wolf to care enough to follow through.

So when Edward heard nor smelt the werewolf in two days, he assumed he was free of the man. It was somewhat disappointing, at first, that the wolf hadn't fought to find him. After all, he had hassled Edward about the imprint on several occasions. That disappointment ended quickly though and Edward found himself the free wanderer he had been several weeks ago.

Edward remained still for a minute longer, but Jacob's mind continued to be the constant dim whisperings, neither closer nor farther. He had no idea what made the wolf come for him now, but perhaps his cold trail led him astray so far north. Edward breathed in the dry air, weighing his options.

If Jacob was coming for him, being only three or five miles away means it would take him less than a hour. Edward could always run away, but it would only extend the amount of days it would take Jacob to catch up. In the end, as long as the werewolf was determined, he would eventually catch up to the vampire.

There were many things Edward could do to permanently lose him, such as not stopping. The werewolf would eventually give out from exhaustion and have to rest and eat. But Edward needed to feed as well. And while Jacob could easily stop in any store and inhale something off the shelf, Edward would need to track down his prey and take precious time to drink as much as he could. And in the climates he was heading in, large prey would become scarcer and the time hunting would greatly increase. All these problems would become nullified if Edward reached the ocean. He would not be followed in water, but the time spent traveling there would be long enough for the wolf to catch up.

The best option, at the moment, would be to stand still and wait for Jacob to come to him. It would take a great deal less time and effort. Edward had been planning the confrontation since he left Forks and knew what he would say in order to get Jacob to leave him alone and return home. It was trickier, but it would pay off in the long run when Edward could easily pass into the Mexican border, with no one tracking him, by next week.

So Edward laid himself down among the dust and sage brush to watch the stars turn over head and listen to the distance static of Jacob's mind.

It was very silent in the plains of Wyoming. Few birds flew overhead and any other animal stayed at a distance from the waiting vampire. Edward could almost hear cars driving down some distant road. He remembered the almost deafening noise of the Columbian rainforests and how it had been a relief to come to the muted rainforest of Washington. But this silence wasn't comfortable. There was so much space around him and nothing there to fill it.

Whether he wanted to or not, Edward began to think of Jacob. The only distraction in the sage brush landscape was the werewolf's disjointed thoughts. He knew Jacob was going to be angry with him, but Edward couldn't be swayed on his decision.

But he could still see Bella standing before him, looking at him with sad eyes. _He will need you…you will need him_. Her voice sounded like static too.

"But I don't need him. I need to leave and…leave," He stared at the ground, hating how he could still feel her so close.

_The reason why everything keeps following you is because you refuse to let go._

Edward looked up, but there was no werewolf on the horizon. Jacob's true thoughts were still too far away and faded. But the memory of his words seemed to be echoing in the empty air.

_I have considered you…if you can think of nothing else…consider me_.

_Consider, please consider._

Both Bella and Jacob were standing in front of him, their eyes mirroring disappointment. Edward looked at Bella, his chest hurting. "I always tried to live up to your expectations, but I couldn't. I can't, even now."

_I had hoped…that you would have moved on too._

_You love her…in that special part of our hearts where we have what we wished was real._

"But that doesn't mean I love you. That doesn't make it real." But his body suddenly felt so very cold.

_Don't be afraid, Edward. It won't hurt as much this time._

"Why does it have to hurt at all?"

He remembered when he first left Bella, how he had tried to tear himself to pieces in order to feel relief in pain. He remembered fighting with Jacob after the funeral, wishing the werewolf could wound him. Pain reminded him of being mortal and being mortal meant he could change.

He found himself reaching into his pocket and taking out the old picture of him and Bella. It had faded over the years, but not terribly. But edges were worn and he wondered if Alice had held it many times, wondering who the mysterious man with her mother was. Or perhaps she had only looked at Bella. Perhaps, in her own childish way, she had tried to imagine her mother so young; what she would think about, how she would act. Perhaps Alice had never really looked at Edward at all.

_Where we go, who we meet, how we act; that's fate…that's life_.

Edward suddenly wondered if he was ever meant to be in the picture at all. The sage brush rattled in the wind and he was reminded on how alone he was. Bella and Jacob of his mind were no company, just memories.

He looked around himself, feeling a sense of loss without the spirits to taunt him. He stood up and looked towards the horizon. The picture felt brittle in his hand, so he let it go. His eyes never left the distant stop were Jacob's distorted thoughts still came from. The picture was gone, but it was something else that was missing.

Edward's chest still hurt, but the pain reminded him that he could still change.

* * *

><p>It was two days before Edward realized that Jacob wasn't coming any closer. He had listened very carefully, but the thoughts were still unclear whispers. By now the wolf's scent should have been clear to him, and his thoughts easily laid out.<p>

Edward looked north, in the approximate direction of the werewolf, wondering what was going on. If Jacob was coming for him, there was no reason to remain at such a distance. If Jacob had no idea where he was, then he would have moved on by now, either closer or farther. Edward couldn't think of any other reason why Jacob would be in Wyoming, as far as Edward knew, he had never left the state of Washington.

He could ignore this strange occurrence and continue his journey south. But it was just too strange and it suddenly it occurred to Edward that perhaps Jacob, on his path to track down the vampire, ran into some trouble. Perhaps serious trouble if he was detained for so long. Edward grit his teeth, looking at the dust he had been lying in for a couple days now. If Jacob had never left Washington before, it was very likely he wasn't at all prepared for new places. Edward doubted he suffered any problems with humans, but nomadic vampires could always be a problem in unfamiliar territory.

He closed his eyes and stopped breathing. He needed to listen to the distant thoughts, perhaps they could give him a clue.

_'…call…stopped…him…help…'_

It wasn't much and so far away, Edward couldn't tell if they were urgent or normal. Those words could mean anything. Jacob could be perfectly fine or he could be in real danger.

Edward didn't like the direction his mind was heading, but his feet were already moving. _I'll just get a little closer_, he reasoned with himself, _'Just a couple more miles, it should be enough to hear clearly. A half an hour detour, nothing more._

A half a day brought him no closer. Edward was just over the Montana border, he should be hearing exactly what Jacob was thinking, if not finding the man himself, but the voice was just the same as ever. Edward stopped frequently, trying to pick it up again and again. The most he could tell was that it was changing direction.

_He's moving away_. Edward growled, looking more east now. He didn't know what Jacob was doing, whether by choice or force. But it seemed very strange and it wasn't lost on Edward that the wolf was staying rather perfectly at the same distance and moving himself accordingly to Edward's location.

_Is he leading me? Or is someone else making him?_

Edward still found himself moving forward, closer to the thoughts that were always just out of reach. It wasn't a straight run for Edward, he had to constantly dodge cities and navigate rough terrain. He had no idea how Jacob was traveling, but after another two days, his thoughts began to clear.

_'…can't see the sage…rolling sage in purple dust…rolling dust…'_

Though Edward could certainly pick up more, it didn't exactly make sense. A moment later he realized his stupidity; it was an hour before midnight, Jacob was probably sleeping. Edward sighed and massaged his head like he had a headache, the human reaction somehow calmed him.

He could probably make it to the wolf before he awoke, perhaps it would be for the best. He would be able to see Jacob's situation and make a decision to leave him or help him, if needed. If Jacob was simply pulling him along, Edward could leave before the man woke and not have to deal with a tricky confrontation. It would be annoying not to figure out _why_ Jacob would pull him along on this chase, but Edward would survive.

So he sprinted to meet with the wolf in the early hours of the morning. It was a better run, the terrain was flat plains instead of mountains or woods. From miles away, Edward could see the smoke of a campfire. It deluded Jacob's scent, but Edward could taste it in his mouth, he was so close.

He approached the lonely campfire in the wide open country. Jacob was in his wolf form, curled up tightly with his tail over his nose. It was a cool night, but not a cold one. He probably built the fire, now smoking ashes, for food more than anything else. Edward noticed he had a small pack, probably big enough for a wallet or cell phone. It had a long strap, perhaps meant to be tied around his neck as a wolf. A pair of cut off shorts, a t-shirt, and old tennis shoes were also attached to odd straps. Perhaps meant to be tied around his neck or even a leg.

But there was no scent or sign of anyone else, vampire or human. Edward looked to the sleeping wolf, but besides for looking scruffy from a lack of bathing, he was unharmed. His thoughts, still in sleep, shifted to accommodate Edward's scent.

Jacob was dreaming of the last time he was in the Cullen house. He was lying on the floor, a human this time, and Edward was running a hand through his hair. It was a soothing dream, it seemed.

Hesitating, Edward leaned down, he felt the odd urge to mimic himself in the dream. He remembered that day when he had checked Jacob for broken bones on the floor of his living room. It had been soothing, he realized, to run his hand through the soft fur, not having to worry about the wolf hurting him or he hurting Jacob. It was always so hard when Edward was with Bella, making sure to never hold on to her too tightly or touch her too harshly. He hated comparing Jacob against Bella. They were two different people and Edward had known them at two very different times in his life.

His fingertips were slowly sinking into the fur at Jacob's previously injured shoulder. It was perfectly healed now, and in such a short time. Edward had no doubt that any wounds he inflicted on Jacob the day before he left Forks had healed already. Probably not even a scar present as Edward didn't have venom on his tongue. He wondered if he did actually have venom, how much it would hurt Jacob. Perhaps it would leave a scar or take a little longer to heal, but nothing serious. Besides, Jacob's scent didn't produce the venom in his mouth like Bella's did. She always smelled so delicious, Jacob never smelled like a meal. He smelled like…a person or what a person should smell like, if Edward wasn't a vampire.

He hated that thought, but he desired it at the same time. That's why vampires always mated together, not so much for the immortality, but because their scents could mingle without inspiring violence. Edward dating Bella was mostly unimaginable because it was so hard to be normal around her wonderful scent. Living with her growing old was easy compared to living with her blood singing to him at every moment.

And while Jacob's werewolf scent should repulse Edward, it didn't. Edward had hated the scent of werewolves before. He had even hated Jacob's, at first. But it changed somehow. Whether from close contact or even the imprint. It was different now and Edward was finding that he was desiring it.

Edward wanted desperately to press his face into the matted fur. It did smell like unwashed dog, but underneath the grim and dirt was Jacob's bright, burning scent. He resisted, standing up straight, and stepping back. He needed to leave, Jacob's mind was beginning to collect itself, the vampire's scent rousing him from sleep.

But Edward didn't move as the wolf slowly woke. Instead he turned east to watch the sun slowly make its way over the horizon. He didn't need to look as he heard the wolf's groggy thoughts. Once Jacob realized that it was a real Edward standing above him, he quickly shifted into a human and pulled on his shorts. _'I knew you would be here.' _He sighed and sat down heavily back on the ground. He was calm, when Edward was expecting anger or confusion.

"You knew I would leave without you," It was both a question and an answer.

"Yeah," Jacob poked at the dying embers of his fire, debating whether or not to coax it back to life. "And you've probably realized by now that I wanted you to come to me."

Edward still wouldn't face him. "I would have waited for you, if you had just come directly."

Jacob snorted. "Yeah, only to reject me and leave me again. I figured if I had to argue with you, might as well have some sort of control."

"We don't have to argue."

_'I know,' _But Jacob didn't speak, rummaging around to pick up some more sticks he had left near his things. Edward could smell the ash rising into the air as the fire began to warm again. Jacob blew on it carefully, giving air to the small flame forming. "Why won't you look at me?" He eventually asked.

Edward closed his eyes to the rising sun. He didn't know why, but he really didn't want to look at his shimmering skin right now. "You were dreaming about me."

Jacob was a little distracted by the vampire's skin in the sunlight, but apparently Bella had mentioned it to him before. "I always dream about you."

"Bella used to dream about me too."

_'I'm not Bella.'_

"I know," He had to remember to breathe to continue speaking, for some reason he had forgotten. "She once told me that she didn't believe in fate or destiny," He shook his head. "No, she told me that she didn't believe there was a difference between destiny and life. That fate is just the way we live."

"I don't get it."

He opened his eyes, seeing his arms shimmering faintly. "I once told you that your scent was normal. And it is. But because it's so normal, it's also extraordinary. I don't know if I can really describe it. It's like burning. But not the kind of burning that a vampire would fear. Or maybe it is. But it's so strange that you can't stop breathing it in. I've felt burning before, but this is different."

Jacob hadn't moved. "Edward, you're rambling," He was more concerned than amused.

Edward felt the urge to pace, very unusual for a vampire. He clenched his hands. "I'm just trying to describe something that I can't describe."

"What?"

"You've asked me to consider you. And I have, over and over again. Every time I think I've got this all figured out, I have to rethink everything. You've told me that you considered me, but I don't see how you can. How can you consider this?"

"What is 'this'?" Jacob's voice was quiet.

"The opposition, the contrasting…!" Edward growled, hating how words were suddenly failing him. He swiftly turned around, glaring at the man sitting on the ground. "The way you and I are so different, yet we are bound so tightly together! I'm suffocating from your scent, did you know? It's on my mind all the time and I can hear your thoughts from miles away! You're skin is so hot, it's a wonder how you can stand mine or how I can rip you to pieces, but you won't do anything to hurt me. I'm hurting you! Just like when I was with Bella, but the difference is…the difference is…" He couldn't think, his eyes ached.

_'Maybe that I will follow you? That I will find you, wherever you are and take you home?' _Jacob wasn't looking at him, staring resolutely at the ground. "It's not the imprint. The imprint doesn't make me a mindless slave or anything. It just tells me where I will be happy."

"How are you happy with me?" Edward hated the way his voice sounded desperate.

He looked up and Edward noticed that his eyes were swollen from lack of sleep. His forehead had lines of worry and his lips were chapped from dehydration. "I told you what haunts me at night and you sat with me and faced it through. And in the morning you picked me up and carried me home," He looked back to the ground, the fire cracking at his side. _'I'm not afraid when I'm with you and I'd forgotten what it's like to not be afraid.'_

"You considered me then, didn't you. You just waited to tell me."

"I knew you wouldn't notice."

"I didn't want to."

_'How about now?'_

Edward paused, looking at Jacob's bowed head. "I'm not perfect."

A ghost of a smile. "I know."

"I won't give you the privacy of your mind."

"I'm used to that," _'Try being in a wolf pack.'_

"And I will probably compare you to Bella a lot."

A real smile, though he still looked at the ground. "I already compare you two."

Edward took a step forward and Jacob looked up at him. "When I listen to you, I don't feel powerless. I carried you home, because I felt strong enough to. I'd forgotten what it was like to have control over my life and to have the control to trust someone else," And he realized he had never felt that way with Bella. "I guess it…it makes me happy too."

Jacob's eyes were warm, but he only had time to get to a kneeling position before Edward leaned down and kissed him.

It was better than their first, though it startled Jacob as much as it did Edward the first time. But Edward found that he liked to cradle Jacob's warm face against his and he didn't mind when he felt the other man's arms snake around his neck and pull him down. It was obvious that Jacob liked the control and Edward let him drag him closer so he could thoroughly make up the cold, detached first kiss.

And afterwards, when he had gotten his fill of Jacob's goofy, euphoric smile and ordered him to clean up so they could get moving, he realized that he hadn't compared it at all to kissing Bella.


	11. Dela

Synchronous Rotation: Always Facing

Chapter 10

Dela, Johnney Cleg, Jacob/Edward

_One day I looked up and there you were, like a simple question looking for an answer._

* * *

><p>"Where were you leading me?"<p>

Jacob smiled, something he hadn't stopped doing for the past four hours. "North Dakota, of course," He furrowed his brow, trying to imagine it. "Somewhere near a place called Towner?" _'I have a map somewhere.'_

Edward raised an eyebrow. "And I'm guess that's where you are taking me now?"

"Well, yeah. She'd kill me otherwise," He suddenly looked like he swallowed a lemon.

Edward rolled his eyes to the sky. "Alice. I see."

Jacob was sheepish. "I was halfway out of Washington when she called. She said there would be no point in me finding you, because unless I brought you to your family, she would murder me while I slept," He paused. "I don't know how she got my phone number."

Edward snorted. "She might be the most dangerous of us all."

"I didn't know what I was going to do anyway, but after she threatened me, I got the idea of luring you into North Dakota," He gave a small grin. "She also told me about how far away I should be with you noticing, but not really hearing," He shook his head. "I would never have believed that you could read my mind from five miles away. But she kept calling me to tell me where you were."

Edward nudged his shoulder. "But you didn't exactly lead me home."

"I wanted to talk to you alone first."

It reminded Edward. "Oh, I should ask how it went with your father."

Jacob shrugged, looking down. "It was…fine. I can't really expect things to go back to the way they were used to. But, he did ask me to call him when I found you," His words were soft and Edward could tell he was pleased to find his father still cared.

"We'll have to go back soon, then."

The shifter didn't look at Edward, but smiled to the ground. He nudged his hand in Edwards. _'If that's alright.'_

The vampire gripped it tightly. "Of course," He'd have to still get used to it. Jacob was almost more eager than Bella to be close. But Edward wasn't in the habit of having people touch him, especially Jacob. With him and Bella, it was always Edward who put an arm around her, or took her hand, or kissed her. He supposed he would have many years to get used to receiving affection as well as giving it. He grinned at the thought.

"What is it?"

"I'm just glad you're immortal."

Jacob flushed, but smiled back. "Whatever makes you happy."

"But what about me? What about _my_ happiness!" They both were startled at the new voice and Edward winced as Alice came charging towards them. Instinctively, Edward pushed Jacob behind himself and braced for an impact.

He was surprised when Alice stopped just in front of him, pulled out his cell phone from his pocket, and switched it on. Still glaring coldly, she handed it back. He took it, looking at her warily. With a strange calmness, she dialed on her phone and pressed it to her ear.

Edward's phone, naturally, began to ring. He stared at it, wondering if it would explode or otherwise harm him. But Alice was still glaring and it was still ringing. Hesitantly, Edward answered. "Alice?"

"You are a big _fat_ jerk! And if you _ever_ consider turning off this phone again and I will personally install one in your _brain_!" She flipped off her phone and gave him a satisfied smirk.

Edward was pretty sure there wasn't the technology for that and he was pretty sure that wouldn't stop Alice from trying. "I'm sorry?"

She turned up her nose at him and instead turned to Jacob, who had crept out from behind Edward. Swiftly she kissed him on both cheeks and he flinched, unaccustomed to affection from other vampires. "_Thank you_ for being such a nice, considerate person who _listens_ and _cares _and brings back a lying, annoying, insufferable brother to his family."

Jacob grinned, appreciating that her callous tone wasn't directed towards him. "Any time."

She smiled sweetly and turned around, leading them forward. Jacob smirked at Edward and the vampire wondered if he should fear the two of them in the future. He settled for rolling his eyes, then paused. "But haven't I come back in fifteen days? So I didn't delay any more than you said I would."

She scoffed. "But you were only going to come back if I called Jacob. It's still seriously inconsiderate!"

Edward stepped up to walk beside her. "So you knew all along you would have to call Jacob?"

"Of course not, I saw only darkness," She glanced back at the werewolf, still following behind. "But I made an educated guess," _'Especially when most of our future kept blacking out. I figured he'd be around for awhile.'_

"I suppose that makes sense."

"Hey, just because you can read minds doesn't mean you should use it to talk about me secretly!" Jacob was only half serious, but Edward stepped back to nudge his shoulder. He was beginning to wonder if he got the habit from Jacob.

"It was nothing offensive."

Alice snorted. "Yeah right! You do realize what a favor I'm doing, Edward," She whirled around, walking backwards gracefully. "While you have your pet, I can't see anything!"

Jacob was both insulted by her choice of words, and somewhat pleased. The contrasting emotions gave his face an odd grimace. Edward simply addressed his sister, "You know you like him, Alice. I mean, look at all this hair you can play with," Jacob looked ready to die when Edward flicked a couple of strands and Alice's eyes lit up brighter than any child's.

"I suppose you have a point. He does need a good bath, but there is potential, definite potential."

_'Oh God, what have I signed up for?'_

Edward chuckled and Alice sent him a pleased look. He didn't know what she was so happy about, but they had arrived at the house and he was immediately enveloped in a hug from Esme.

He could barely see the large country home as his mother kissed his face with an excited fervor. "Oh, Edward! You're back!" He appreciated being greeted in such a manner, compared to Alice's greetings.

He held her back. "You've not changed, Esme."

She looked at him, her golden eyes critical, but loving. "You have. Just look at the state of you two!"

Edward glanced at Jacob, who hung back nervously. The werewolf looked much worse than Edward, but the vampire was in desperate need of a new change of clothes. "Esme, I'd like to introduce you to Jacob Black."

Without hesitation, she reached forward and pulled him into a hug. Edward could tell she didn't appreciate the werewolf scent, but her caring nature overrode any disgust. "I've heard so much about you, Jacob."

"Really?" Jacob was still nervous, being in the arms of a vampire he's never met before. But he kept himself still and polite.

Sensing this, Esme stepped back. "Yes, Alice can't see you very well, of course. But we've seen the changes in Edward."

"Changes?" Edward interjected.

Esme traced a finger along his cheek. "Of course, my dear." _'You are home, aren't you?'_

Edward smiled and took her hand in his. "The house looks beautiful," It was magnificent against the open plains and farmland. It was larger than their home in Forks, as it didn't need to be constrained by trees, and it had more of the Southern plantation home style.

She looked back to it. "Yes, it's a shame we will be moving soon. We're considering keeping it, but Alice is threatening mutiny if we move back here again someday," Edward looked around, but Alice seemed to have trotted off behind the house in search of something.

"To Toronto?"

She nodded. "Rosie and Emmett are there now," She kept her eyes trained on the house. _'I think they still need to get used to the idea of living with a werewolf.'_

"Perhaps they will live in a separate apartment?"

She smiled. "That sounds perfect, then we will have more space to get to know each other." _'I have a feeling they have already decided on that.' _She looked to Jacob, standing awkwardly behind them. "It will be nice to have someone who can run errands for us during the day. It's so nice to be in a big city, but so tricky as a vampire."

"Errand dog! I like that!" Alice had returned and with the garden hose in tow.

To Jacob's credit, it took him the same amount of time as Edward to realize he was in serious danger. Still, he hadn't the time to run before Alice turned the hose on him. _She must have tinkered with it_, Edward thought, _It's as powerful as a fire hose_.

Jacob was trying to out sprint Alice around the house, not wishing to run completely off the borders without Edward, but also not enjoying being hosed down by a giggling vampire. Edward shouted to her as she tried to corner Jacob by the eves. "I thought you said you were going to be nice!"

She shrieked in laughter as she nailed him and he went running around the house. "I never promised that! And there is no way I'm letting a dog with muddy paws inside the house!"

They disappeared around the corner of the house and Edward watched as a variety of colored hoses followed. _She must have connected them all_. _Perhaps he can't outrun her if she has a hundred yards of tubing._

Esme laughed quietly and began walking up the steps, Edward followed. "Where's Jasper?"

"Hunting, I believe," _'I think he's a bit nervous.' _"He'll be back by this evening, Alice told me."

"And Carlisle?" Esme opened the door for him into the expansive entry hall.

"He's in his office. He'll be expecting you," She smiled and kissed him on the forehead. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to shut off the water supply."

"Thank you," He held on to her wrist. "I mean, really, thank you for understanding and being good to Jacob."

She stroked his knuckles. "Thank you for letting him bring you home, my Edward."

She disappeared down the hall and Edward followed the cool scent of Carlisle to find his office. He didn't knock, he could hear his father's thoughts already thinking about him. But he hesitantly entered, anyway.

It was like walking back into Forks, Carlisle always decorated the same. The vampire himself sat comfortably in his chair, smiling as Edward entered the room. _'You look well, Edward.'_

The younger vampire smiled, leaning on the desk. "I feel well."

Carlisle spent a moment, just looking at him. His eyes somehow of a proud parent. Edward could never pretend to understand how such a group of vampires could consider each other as blood family. "It's good to see you."

"It's good to hear you."

Carlisle chuckled. _'Somehow, I've missed you being able to read my mind.'_

Edward walked over and sat on the desk in front of him. "I've missed reading your mind. It's hard to find someone so articulate."

The compatible silence was broken by the front door banging open and a brief scuffle before moving to another part of the house. _'I believe your friend is being taken care of.'_

"Hmm? I can't believe how friendly Alice is being."

"I think she's been looking forward to having someone else she can pick on who isn't as delicate as…well," Carlisle looked somewhat embarrassed, it didn't suit him.

"Bella," Edward murmured. "It's okay to talk about her."

_'Do you want to talk about her?'_

Edward closed his eyes. "Maybe not today. It's exhausting and I've already had a confrontation with Jacob this morning," Though that suddenly seemed like an eternity ago. He could believe that just several hours before, he had only begun to come to terms with his feelings with the shifter.

"Do you want to talk about Jacob?"

Edward opened his eyes. "He's…unexpected."

Carlisle leaned forward, tilting his chin to keep eye contact. "Matters of the heart tend to be." _'Esme was unexpected. And I'm sure Alice was to Jasper.'_

Edward smiled. "It'll probably take some time to get used to."

"For us to get used to him or for you?"

"Both."

Carlisle laughed softly and leaned back in his chair. "Tell me about him."

Edward absently straightened some paper's on the desk. "Do you know what an imprint is?"

_'No, I don't think so,' _"My knowledge of werewolves is limited at best," His eyes were bright with curiosity and Edward resisted a smile. Carlisle had an insatiable need for knowledge and he probably was more excited about having a new specimen in the house than anyone else.

"It's a compulsive thing. He saw me, I guess, and something clicked inside him. He wasn't attracted to me or anything, he just couldn't leave me alone," He traced a paperweight, a shell from a small island off the coast of Brazil. "It's like he suddenly noticed me, noticed anything about me."

_'Do you think he fell in love with you because of the imprint?' _Carlisle had a habit of asking more personal questions through his mind. Edward could never tell if he was trying to be discrete or just nervous of voicing it aloud.

"I don't know about love. But I don't think it was the imprint. It helped, of course," He paused. "Bella once described it as the same way I was attracted to her because of her scent and her…mind," He hated thinking about that. "So his imprint intrigued him towards me, I guess."

Carlisle was watching Edward's finger slowly trace the lines of the shell. "And what did you think of that?"

He forced his hand to lie still on his thigh, hating how fidgety he was. "It was annoying and I was really preoccupied with Bella. But we talked a lot and it was…nice," He looked back to Carlisle. "I haven't figured it all out."

He put his hand on Edward's. "But you have brought him here."

The younger vampire smiled slightly. "Yeah, I suppose I did."

Carlisle sighed, a sign that he knew Edward wanted to stop talking. "Well, you should go see to you imprinter," Edward winced at the word, which made Carlisle grinned. "I might talk to him about imprints later, if you don't mind. It sounds fascinating."

Edward hopped off the desk as Carlisle stood up. "I don't mind, but I'll give Jacob warning, all the same."

The older vampire, his father, smiled gently before pulling Edward into a close embrace. It was not often that Carlisle hugged his first son, but it was always the same. They bodies were cold, but it felt warm between them. Carlisle was put a hand on Edward's head, keeping him close. "Welcome home, Edward."

He didn't reply, not really needing to.

A distant commotion in the house separated them and Carlisle led him out of the office. "I think its time you comfort your imprinter."

He grimaced. "Stop saying that."

'_But it has such a nice ring to it.'_

Edward rolled his eyes, walking away as Carlisle went to go find Esme. It didn't take long, even in the massive house, to find Jacob. The wolf's scent stood out in the vampire household. The shifter was currently hiding in the bathroom, barricading the door as Alice tried to break it down.

"Come _on_, Jakey! I've got to make sure you are clean enough to be suitable for us! Not all of us can tolerate bad dog smell!" Alice was pounding on the door, making the walls groan.

"Stop calling me that! I'm clean, just leave me alone!"

Stiflingly any laughter, Edward approached the door. "I think you've had enough fun, Alice. Cut him some slack, he's had a harder journey than me."

She pouted. _'Did you see how much mud was in his hair?'_

"Alice," He warned. "I'll make sure he doesn't leave any tracks. Besides, shouldn't you find Jasper?"

'_You always cheat.' _She did want to find Jasper and make sure he would be alright with their new guest. But messing with someone as naïve as Jacob was hard to resist. "Fine, take away my fun! Bring him to the room at the end of the hall." _'It's yours.'_

Edward rolled his eyes as she skipped away, her mind happily trained on her lover. He turned to the door. "The monster is gone, you can come out now."

Jacob hesitated, smelling the cracks around the door to make sure Edward wasn't lying. He slowly opened the door, still looking wary. "I can't believe Bella named her daughter after her."

"Oh, I can believe it. You just can't see it yet because Alice Newton was still young," He paused. "And not a vampire," Edward opened the door further, noticing that Jacob looked remarkably better after a shower. His eyes were still dark with exhaustion. He only had a towel and his hair was still dripping. Edward took his hand and led him down the hallway.

"Yeah, the vampire thing makes a difference. She is so strong for being so tiny," His eyes were wide as he took in the house. He hadn't a good look at it before because Alice had dragged him to the bathroom to continue his 'bath'. He had been shocked by the size of the bathtub alone.

Edward opened the door to his room, distinguishable by the scent of Alice that permeated it. He probably could have found it even without her direction. "This is my room, there are probably clothes in here for you to wear."

Jacob had stopped at the door way, trying to comprehend that one room could fit such a massive bed and a closet as big as his father's kitchen. Edward could only guess that his family saw it fitting that he would get a larger room to accommodate two people. "Why would there be clothes for me?"

Edward walked into the giant closet, rooting around for something comfortable. "You will find that Alice has a habit of over preparing. If there was even the slightest hint that you could even just be visiting, she would have an entire wardrobe for you," He found some pajamas and another towel. When he came back into the man room, Jacob was still standing at the doorway.

The vampire grinned and threw the clothes on the bed and casually shut the door. "You're going to have to get used to this. Once you've lived for a couple hundred years, money has less significance."

Jacob was still shocked, staring at the bed that wouldn't be able to fit in his room. Edward sighed and threw the towel on him and began to vigorously dry his wet hair. _'Hey! Careful!'_

Edward ceased, rather surprised that he enjoyed the view of a rumpled Jacob. "Pay more attention then."

Jacob glared at him for a moment, but he couldn't seem to hold it. "Just this morning I was sleeping on the ground." _'It's all so unreal.'_

Edward only nodded and tugged his hand towards the bed. "You should rest then. I doubt you slept very well the past couple of days."

'_I should call my dad.' _But he was already easing himself on the bed, only pausing to pull on the pajama pants as Edward carefully averted his eyes. Jacob was obviously too exhausted to care.

"Call him when you wake," Edward pulled the blankets over the shifter. "Do you need anything to drink?"

"Hmm," _'No.'_ He shoved all the pillows out of the way and pushed the blankets back down before settling himself. He was lying on his stomach, looking up at Edward. "Well?" _'I get really hot when I sleep, werewolf thing.'_

Edward leaned over on the mattress. "No, you just want to make sure I won't leave you again."

'_That and if you leave me, I think Alice will do unspeakable things to me.' _He rested his head down, savoring the soft mattress.

He grinned. "Can't have that."

Jacob reached over and grabbed his hand, yanking him down. He didn't pull the vampire towards him, but he held the hand and arm against his chest, cradling it. Edward watched Jacob slowly drift off to sleep; his thoughts shifting into pleasant blur and his warm heart steady beneath Edward's palm.


End file.
